Although The Sorrow of War focuses on the horrors of violent conflict, the novel is also a love story—though not necessarily a happy one. The first half of the novel mainly spotlights Kien’s terrifying and traumatic time in the Vietnam War, but the narrative also gradually reveals that his entire wartime experience is wrapped up in matters of the heart. In fact, he even faces his first taste of true violence and destruction with Phuong (his girlfriend) at his side, since she travels toward the frontlines with him at the very beginning of the war. Even though the subsequent years of bloodshed seemingly have nothing to do with romance, Kien’s life as a soldier is nevertheless intertwined with his relationship with Phuong. To that end, it doesn’t matter that they eventually part ways so he can continue to the front: the mere thought of her sustains him through many terrible moments, especially when he’s injured and imagines her caring for him. The novel closely examines Kien’s capacity to feel such romantic feelings in the midst of war, exploring both the cognitive dissonance and the emotional reward of clinging to “delirious romantic joy in extraordinary circumstances.” However, Kien and Phuong find themselves unable to have a successful relationship in the aftermath of the war, which means that the very thing that helped them through the war is ultimately incapable of flourishing in the absence of such hardship. In turn, the novel underscores the idea that although love is powerful and can help people through the worst moments of their lives, it can also be very delicate and fickle, blossoming in unlikely circumstances but then wilting in the reality of everyday life.
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Love in Times of Hardship Quotes in The Sorrow of War
He recalled the standing orders from the political commissar: “It is necessary to readjust, rectify, and re-establish the rules, the morals and behavior of your men, when there are breaches.” Of course that would have meant pulling the soldiers out, snapping them out of their romantic spell. Kien’s heart would never allow him to truly discipline those boys. It begged him to keep silent and sympathize with the young lovers. What else could they do? They were powerless against the frenzied forces of young love which now controlled their bodies.
The future lied to us, there long ago in the past. There is no new life, no new era, nor is it hope for a beautiful future that now drives me on, but rather the opposite. The hope is contained in the beautiful prewar past.
When later he recalled his actions, her words, his timidity, he would grieve and regret his loss.
The passing of beautiful youth had been so rapid that even its normal periods of anxiety and torment, of deep intense blind love, had been taken from him as the war clouds loomed. A moment so close, yet so far, then totally lost to him, to remain only as a memory forever.
“There’s no other night like this. You’re offering your life for a cause so I’ve decided to waste mine too. This year we’re both seventeen. Let’s plan to meet each other again somewhere at some future point. See if we still love each other as much as we do now.”
But at the last moment, as he was about to press the trigger with the gun aimed directly at them, he gave them a reprieve.
It was not because of their pleading, nor because of prompting from his colleagues. No, it was because Phuong’s words had come to him like an inner voice: “So, you’ll kill lots of men? That’ll make you a hero, I suppose?”
“[…] It’s over. We deserved to have had a happy life together, but events conspired against us. You know that. You know the circumstances as well as I do. Let’s go our own separate ways from now on. Forever. It’s the only way.”
And so their intimate nonsense had continued for the next hour, a period of delirious romantic joy in extraordinary circumstances.
He suddenly remembered what he thought he had seen in the freight car and what could still be happening there. He was to remember that as his first war wound, […].
It was from that moment, when Phuong was violently taken from him, that the bloodshed truly began and his life entered into bloody suffering and failure. And he would understand true sacrifice: friends who would die to save others.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured? Sit down, sit down. We’ll bandage it. Does it hurt?”
Phuong shook her head, No.
“Sit down. I’ll make some bandages from my shirt.”
“No!” she cried, pushing him away. “Can’t you see? It’s not a wound! It can’t be bandaged!”
What was going on? He knew so little!
Several years later, on a night when he was deep in desperation, Kien dreamed that his life had been transformed into a river stretching before him. He saw himself floating towards his death. Then at the very last moment, when he was about to go over the edge, he heard Phuong’s call echoing from that bitter dusk of the marsh near the school. It was the final call of his first love. Though they hadn’t had a happy life together or moved towards a glowing future, their first love had not been in vain. They were back there in the past together, and nothing could change or rob them of that.
