The Tiger Rising

“Please let me catch it,” she whispered.

“You won’t,” said Rob, surprised at her hand, how small it was and how warm. It made him think, for a minute, of his mother’s hand, tiny and soft. He stopped that thought. “It ain’t contagious,” he told her.

“Please let me catch it,” Sistine whispered again, ignoring him, keeping her hand on his leg. “Please let me catch it so I won’t have to go to school.”

The world was dark. The only light came from the falling Kentucky Star. Rob turned over in bed and pulled back the curtain and looked out the window at the sign. It was like having his own personal shooting star, but he didn’t ever make a wish on it. He was afraid that if he started wishing, he might not be able to stop. In his suitcase of not-thoughts, there were also not-wishes. He kept the lid closed on them, too.

“I can tell you how to cure that,” said Willie May, pointing with her cigarette at his legs. “I can tell you right now. Don’t need to go to no doctor.”

“Huh?” said Rob. He stopped chewing his gum and held his breath. What if Willie May healed him and then he had to go back to school?

“Sadness,” said Willie May, closing her eyes and nodding her head. “You keeping all that sadness down low, in your legs. You not letting it get up to your heart, where it belongs. You got to let that sadness rise on up.”

“Oh,” said Rob. He let his breath out. He was relieved. Willie May was wrong. She couldn’t cure him.

It was still raining, but not hard. He looked at the falling Kentucky Star. He thought for a minute about one of the not-wishes he had buried deepest: a friend. He stared at the star and felt the hope and need and fear course through him in a hot neon arc. He shook his head.

“Naw,” he said to the Kentucky Star. “Naw.”

“It’s just like the poem says,” Sistine breathed.

“What?” said Rob.

“That poem. The one that goes, ‘Tiger, tiger, burning bright, in the forests of the night.’ That poem. It’s just like that. He burns bright.”

“Oh,” said Rob. He nodded. He liked the fierce and beautiful way the words sounded. Just as he was getting ready to ask Sistine to say them again, she whirled around and faced him.

“What’s he doing way out here?” she demanded.

Rob shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “He’s Beauchamp’s, I guess.”

“Beauchamp’s what?” said Sistine. “His pet?”

“I don’t know,” said Rob. “I just like looking at him. Maybe Beauchamp does, too. Maybe he just likes to come out here and look at him.”

“That’s selfish,” said Sistine.

Rob shrugged.

“This isn’t right, for this tiger to be in a cage. It’s not right.”

“What happened to [Cricket]?” Rob asked.

Willie May bent and took a pillowcase out of the dryer.

“Let him go,” she said.

“You let him go?” Rob repeated, his heart sinking inside him like a stone.

“Couldn’t stand seeing him locked up, so I let him go.” She folded the pillowcase carefully.

“And then what happened?”

“I got beat by my daddy. He said I didn’t do that bird no favor. Said all I did was give some snake its supper.”

“I know something that’s in a cage,” said Rob, pushing the words past the tightness in his throat.

Willie May nodded her head, but she wasn’t listening. She was looking past Rob, past the white sheet, past the laundry room, past the Kentucky Star.

“Who don’t?” she said finally. “Who don’t know something in a cage?”

“You’re not talking like a prophetess.”

“That’s ’cause I ain’t no prophetess,” said Willie May. All I am is somebody speaking the truth. And the truth is: there ain’t nothing you can do for this tiger except to let it be.”

“It’s not right,” said Sistine.

“Right ain’t got nothing to do with it,” muttered Willie May. “Sometimes right don’t count.”

As they walked back to the Kentucky Star, Rob thought about what Willie May had said about the tiger rising on up. It reminded him of what she had said about his sadness needing to rise up. And when he thought about the two things together, the tiger and his sadness, the truth circled over and above him and then came and landed lightly on his shoulder. He knew what he had to do.

“Oh,” said Sistine, in that voice that Rob loved. “See,” she said, “that was the right thing. That was the right thing to do.”

Rob nodded. But in his mind, he saw a flash of green. He remembered what happened to Cricket.

Rob looked at his father’s hands. They were the hands that had held the gun that shot the tiger. They were the hands that put the medicine on his legs. They were the hands that had held him when he cried. They were complicated hands, Rob thought.