The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

The same day as his meeting with Malta and Noboru, Toru returns home to find a letter from Mamiya. The letter says that Mamiya has never shared his life story with anyone because he had become so isolated. All his family and friends are gone, and he does not want to make new acquaintances or fall in love. In the letter, Mamiya tells Noboru what he thinks happened to him at the bottom of the well. When Mamiya was in the well, there was a point when an overwhelming light shone down on him. Mamiya believes there was something metaphysical about the light; the moment it shone down on him, he felt that he understood himself better than he ever had before. It was as if the light gave him a glimpse at his true self.

After the war, Mamiya did his best to recapture his true self, which appeared to him at the bottom of the well. However, what enlightenment the light offered perpetually evaded Mamiya’s reach. Repeatedly, he failed to find the inner peace that light seemed to offer. Mamiya knew that he came close to achieving this perfect state of being, and the fact that he didn’t is part of what is now eating him up inside. His fate has been to suffer the exact opposite of what the light promised; he is alone, miserable, and will never achieve happiness. Additionally, he tells Toru, he has discovered that he cannot die. The long life that Honda promised him has come to fruition, but it has proven to be a curse. However, despite the cursed nature of his existence, Mamiya puts a lot of faith in Honda’s words because his predictions came true.

After reading Mamiya’s letter, Toru starts thinking about what has become of his life. For a moment, he worries that Noboru is right—that he is just a failure, a nobody who should move out of the way of someone like Noboru. He worries that he ruined not only his life but Kumiko’s as well. He finds this feeling overwhelming and difficult to swallow. Not wanting to be alone with his thoughts, Toru goes looking for May.

Toru walks over to May’s house and stands outside, hoping she will catch a glimpse of him. He waits for a while, but May never comes out. Toru goes home, where he finds Creta sitting in his living room. Creta says that she let herself in because the door was unlocked. She knows about the meeting with Malta and Noboru and wants to discuss it with him. She also reminds Toru that Noboru was the man who raped her. Then, she slightly qualifies her statement. She says that because she was a sex worker, what Noboru did was not exactly rape. However, he did “defile” her, which permanently changed something inside of her.

Then, Creta tells Toru that they have been sexually active with each other. Her words confuse Toru, who does not know what she is talking about. Creta informs Toru that they have both been having the same dreams, and then describes the two sex dreams Toru has had in detail. Toru is bewildered, but Creta assures him this is quite normal for her. She claims that she is no longer a “prostitute of the flesh” and has instead become a “prostitute of the mind” since she started working for Malta.

All of this is overwhelming to Toru; he does not like that idea that Creta was his “prostitute,” even in a dream. Then, Creta asks Toru if he will hold her close to him. Toru does as she asks and embraces her while she cries. After some time, Creta gets up to leave. On her way out, she tells Toru that he does not need to be afraid of his dreams; instead, he should accept they are a part of him and go with the flow.