They Both Die at the End

They Both Die at the End

by

Adam Silvera

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Summary
Analysis
Mateo thinks he’s experienced miracles today. He found Rufus, their friends are joining them, and Clint’s Graveyard could be a great place for Mateo to outgrow his insecurities. The bouncer is friendly and lets the boys in. Mateo burns as she checks Rufus out, but Mateo’s blush changes when Rufus squeezes his shoulder. Rufus reminds Mateo that there’s no pressure, but he has to have fun. As soon as Mateo enters the club, he immediately regrets not spending as much time here as possible. One wall is covered in Decker graffiti. Lidia grabs Mateo’s hand, and Mateo thinks that her hand has history—he held her hand when Penny was born and after Christian died. He feels happy, even though he has every reason to be sad.
Though it’s certainly tragic that Mateo experiences regret on his final day alive, that regret has a purpose—trying to escape regret is the reason he wound up here in the first place. In other words, regret isn’t always bad, as it can be a powerful motivator. Trying to stave it off can push people to do things they’ve always wanted to do, and it can help them find meaning and purpose in their lives. Mateo now sees that asking Lidia to join him was a kind thing to do. It not only gives him the satisfaction of spending time with his best friend; it helps Lidia find closure too.
Themes
Mortality, Life, and Meaning Theme Icon
Friendship and Chosen Family Theme Icon
Rufus reminds Mateo that he can sing when he’s ready. They watch a teenager sing karaoke onstage, and Mateo realizes that no one will judge him tomorrow. He thinks he’s stupid for ever caring about what other people think; he wasted time caring about the wrong things. They head for the bar, order sodas, and drink a toast to smiling. Rufus moves close to Mateo and over the loud cheers, says that he knows Mateo stopped singing to Dad when he interrupted—but no one is judging him and he has to go for it. The kid singing finishes and everyone applauds. Mateo says that Rufus has to sing with him. Rufus agrees and says they’re going to sing “American Pie.” They listen to a girl name Jasmine sing, and Mateo bops along. He stops, embarrassed, but then he keeps dancing.
Though Rufus hasn’t given any indication prior to this that singing is important to him, he nevertheless understands that singing with Mateo will strengthen their relationship and help Mateo get over his stage fright. Since it seems that Mateo was comfortable singing in front of Dad, Mateo’s willingness to sing with Rufus suggests that their relationship is similarly close and intimate. This is further supported by Mateo’s decision to keep dancing in front of Rufus—he no longer fears that Rufus will think he’s being silly or stupid.
Themes
Mortality, Life, and Meaning Theme Icon
Choices and Consequences Theme Icon
Friendship and Chosen Family Theme Icon
DJ LouOw welcomes Rufus and Mateo to the stage, and they congratulate the last performer. The boys accept their microphones. The song starts, and Rufus begins to sing. Mateo joins in and tears up—he feels like the song connects with the Deckers in the audience. When the song ends, Mateo grabs Rufus’s hand and they bow. Behind the curtains, Mateo kisses Rufus, the person who brought him to life. Rufus asks what took him so long. Mateo says that he had to be sure that Rufus was who he thought he was, and the best part of dying is Rufus’s friendship. Mateo never thought he’d get to say this to anyone and tells Rufus that Rufus gave him his life. Rufus says that Mateo has done the same for him. As they lean in again, Rufus notices the Plutos and smiles.
Finding love and a connection with another person helped Mateo come to terms with who he is and who he loves. Choosing to confess his true feelings for Rufus allows Mateo to live his final hours as his true self—not as the terrified, closeted Mateo he was at the beginning of the novel. Now that Mateo has effectively come out to Rufus and accepted who he is, he’s even more aware of his own worth and that his life has meaning to it—he no longer considers dying alone to be an acceptable option. Further, the arrival of the Plutos brings everything together: now Rufus, too, can spend his final hours with his friends and tell them how much they mean to him.  
Themes
Mortality, Life, and Meaning Theme Icon
Human Connection and Social Media Theme Icon
Friendship and Chosen Family Theme Icon
Quotes