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Uses for Vinegar
Themes
and Colors
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Things We Didn’t See Coming, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Morality and Survival
Apocalypse vs. Routine
Body as Currency vs. Body as Liability
Wealth, Privilege, and Value
Care and Companionship under Crisis
Summary
Analysis
From his perch on the lawn, the narrator takes a break from writing a speech about male infertility. He and Margo are close to the end of their second practical union, so they need to re-sign the form—promising that they will be “responsible” partners for the next 18 months. As long as the contract is in place, both parties are guaranteed care and companionship. Once the contract ends, the government steps in, providing a “pitiful” alternative. The narrator knows that this contract will prevent Margo from running off, though she can and will have sex with other people.
At the end of the last chapter, the narrator admired Margo for her practicality about their romance. Now, that practical worldview has been turned into legislation, in the form of the unsentimental practical union contract; romance is legally defined via transactional, impermanent care rather than lifelong commitment. But while the narrator’s emotional life has not gotten any smoother, his material circumstances could not be more different: for the first time in the entire novel, the narrator seems to be fairly at ease, relaxing on this lawn.
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Juliet sneaks up behind the narrator; she is always high (as she is now), but also always more alert than he gives her credit for. The narrator closes out of the practical union form and returns to writing the speech about Juliet’s fertility initiative. Juliet kisses the narrator, and though he is ambivalent about having sex, he kisses back, wanting her to think he is “always ready.”
Juliet is the narrator’s employer, though their relationship is also laden with sex and drug use. Two other details worth paying attention to: first, Juliet’s ability to be both playful and alert suggests that she is a potentially dangerous figure, difficult to predict. Second, the mention of the fertility initiative suggests that the recent crises have led to widespread problems with fertility rates.
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The narrator suggests that they take a shower together, his desire growing, but Juliet prefers to shower with Margo (the narrator’s scent is “too manly”). The narrator tries to go back to work, but the childish Juliet wants attention. To appease her, the narrator begins reading her the speech, though he also surreptitiously keys in a travel request for Juliet.
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Soon enough, a guard arrives, informing Juliet that there is a bus waiting for her and referring to her as “Senator.” Juliet knows this is the narrator’s doing, but she is not annoyed. Later tonight, Juliet wants to go on “an overnight” with Margo and the narrator. Juliet aims to go to the country, which the narrator is surprised by—normally she likes more excitement. But true to form, Juliet explains that her plan is not to enjoy the countryside but to burn it all down.
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The narrator recalls the last time the three of them went on an “overnight,” to Juliet’s private island. While there, they had engaged in all forms of excess: endless food by personal chefs, hallucinogenic trips, and constant sex. They had been so confident in themselves that they had drafted Juliet’s campaign address while high, promising to unite the three parties. Less than a month later, Juliet had won another term as the Senator for nearly a quarter of the country’s people.
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Back in the present, the narrator sends Juliet the male fertility speech he’s been working on. When he goes to greet Margo inside, he sees the curtains are closed—the sign that she is having sex with someone else. Though this used to hurt him, now he is getting better at accepting that each of them is allowed to sleep with other people. Besides, if they hadn’t made that policy, they never would have found their way to Juliet.
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During their first practical union, Margo became insistent that the narrator needed to have “extra-union” sex, more for her sense of fairness than for his desires. The couple went to a flesh club together, and the narrator had spotted Juliet, dancing with a group of women. He recognized her as a politician, famous for calling for peace during the urban-rural battles (and for her “curves”). Even then, Juliet was known for sexual and pharmaceutical wildness, though her constituents never seemed to mind her privileged partying.
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The narrator had started dancing with Margo and Juliet, who was thrilled by the dynamic. Soon enough, they made their way from the flesh club to Juliet’s apartment, where she offered both Margo and the narrator jobs (“she’s a pro at assessing people,” the narrator explains). And then they were in a limousine, all touching each other and eating candy. In the chaos, Juliet’s heavy black diamond bracelet fell to the floor.
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Now, the narrator surveys Juliet’s fancy mountain house. She has guards both on the ground and in the air, since “height alone doesn’t confer protection these days.” The narrator returns to the practical union contract, and notices that a new clause has been added: the union can now be between three people, not just two. One of the statistics advisors sneaks out of Margo’s room, a man she’s been with before; the narrator compares his body to the advisor’s.
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Juliet loves hearing about the past thefts and scams that Margo and the narrator have engaged in, particularly the stories about Margo and drug dealers. Though Juliet gives in to all of the duo’s whims, the narrator also feels like he always has to be on his best behavior with her. He knows that she mostly values his and Margo’s relationship because their everyday heterosexuality distracts from her frequent “night crawls.” In fact, Juliet had made the narrator have sex with her at most of the flesh clubs in the vicinity, showing off her new male hire (and sleeping with Margo more privately).
At the same time, the narrator knows that Juliet’s “casual” approach to relationships means that she could get rid of him and Margo as quickly as she pulled them into her orbit. He is therefore excited about the opportunity of adding her, under this new law, to their practical union. As he considers this, Margo appears, wrapped in a towel and holding a glass of wine; she looks guilty, but she is happy to see the narrator with his shirt off.
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In the truck on the way to the overnight, Juliet makes calls while Margo and the narrator watch RoboCop; they are tickled by how wrong that movie’s vision of the future was. After a while, the narrator explains his desire to add Juliet to the practical union contract. Margo hesitates at first—in part because she has one-on-one sex with Juliet more often than the narrator does—but eventually, she is drawn in by the idea of becoming a permanent fixture in the senator’s life.
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As they pull up to Juliet’s property, Margo determines that Juliet will only agree to join the union if she feels like it was her idea in the first place. The narrator admires Juliet’s country retreat, once a Four Seasons. Juliet’s ultimate dream is to abolish cities, rewilding all the land for when the rain comes back (if it ever does). “Even if we aren’t here,” the narrator imagines Juliet saying, “the land will be: My money will keep it safe.”
While the guards unload fruits, vegetables, and wine, Margo starts outlining a plan to get Juliet to sign. Juliet interrupts the conversation, asking how RoboCop ended and hinting at the ecstasies lying in wait for them all. The narrator wonders what his 15-year-old self would think, and he marvels that while he wanted the practical union with Margo to protect himself emotionally, she had “exploited it to expand our world.” Juliet plays with her black diamond bracelet.
They enter the house, Margo calm as always. The narrator recalls his final trip to visit his mother, who at the time was living in the desert and training to be a servant for wealthy survivors. On that trip, Margo, Cate, and the narrator went on a hike together, which turned sour when they got themselves stranded without any water. Cate panicked, but Margo peed in a cup and toasted with it, assuring them all that they could hydrate themselves that way. “Even lost in the desert,” the narrator muses, “Margo is still at home.”
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Night is falling, so Juliet gives some new pills to Margo and the narrator. Then they feast, eating only the freshest vegetables (all of which are bred and grown in greenhouses). The drugs hit, and the narrator feels a sudden rush of confidence. He notices that Juliet has brought more wine than she usually does, and the narrator wonders if maybe Juliet actively wants to be part of the practical union, if she’s “buttering [them] up” just as they’re trying to do to her.
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Margo, ever crafty, starts daydreaming out loud about security forever, expressing her desire for a quiet life on a fertile piece of land. Juliet flushes, and Margo takes the opportunity to declare her love for her two companions; Juliet replies “I love you two” (or, as the narrator wonders, does she say “I love you too?”). The three begin to have sex, focusing most of their intimate attention on Margo, and the narrator feels certain that there is something “mythic” about this union.
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The spell is broken when somebody’s nibbles on Margo’s body are too rough. Juliet sits up, embarrassed, and leads her two companions to the truck. The guards scatter, leaving Juliet to drive, and the narrator realizes that they have left the contract behind on the table. As they drive through the forest, they run into trees, knocking branches everywhere. Instead of flinching, Margo only laughs, getting louder and louder until Juliet tells her to quiet down. Finally, they arrive in a clearing in the middle of the woods.
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The three climb into oxygen tanks, suits, and helmets. Margo, at the most intense moment of her high, starts suggesting that they should all share one suit—“like a big three-way union.” The narrator grows frustrated with Margo at her lack of subtlety, especially when she starts explicitly laying out the pros of such a union for Juliet. Worse still, Margo starts making fun of the narrator: “he thinks he dreamed it all up,” she scoffs, “but he’s going to get the biggest surprise, right?”
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The narrator tries to process what is happening around him, but the drugs won’t allow him any clarity. Still, he is able to reflect that “as long as I have known [Margo], I have never known peace.” Juliet breaks his reverie by announcing that she has planned this overnight to celebrate Margo and the narrator re-signing their practical union contract.
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Overcome with joy, Margo strikes a match, while Juliet drones on about how safe they are (and about how the forest will grow back). Margo encourages the narrator to join her, telling him to “be a man” and joking that he has “commitment problems,” but he cannot muster the enthusiasm. Finally, he throws his candle in with the rest of the fire. The narrator looks at the two women, taking in their excitement behind the fireproof glass of their helmets. He realizes that he “no longer want[s] anything at all.”
