This Is How It Always Is

This Is How It Always Is

by

Laurie Frankel

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This Is How It Always Is: Part I: One Date Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Penn is an only child, and when he tells this to Rosie on their first date, she is sad for him, like he is dying of a terminal illness. Penn doesn’t know how to respond, but he has been self-conscious and awkward since they sat down, so at least he is consistent. Rosie is a friend of someone Penn knows from school. Penn is in graduate school, getting an MFA, and a girl in his program asked if he wanted to date a doctor. She knows one, the girl said, and she’s into poets. Penn told her that he isn’t a poet, but he agreed to the date anyway. It seemed ridiculous, him dating a doctor who’s into poets, but he is always looking for new writing material, and it seemed like the sort of situation that might yield something.
Rosie equates being an only child to sadness because she came to be one herself through death and tragedy when her sister Poppy died. Penn is self-conscious during his first date with Rosie, which suggests that he really likes her. Obviously, Penn and Rosie are very different—she is a scientist, and he is an artist—and he isn’t thinking that anything will come of their date except material for a funny story. Penn’s thoughts are ironic, since readers already know that they will get married and have five kids. 
Themes
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Getting ready for the date, Penn felt strange, almost like he was coming down with the flu. He considered cancelling, but he figured since Rosie is a doctor in a hospital, she can handle a few germs. When he arrived at her house, and she answered the door, Penn was immediately struck by her. Rosie is beautiful, no doubt, but it is more than just her beauty. Penn is a fiction writer, not a poet, and he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but there is something about her—and it is making him nervous.
Clearly, Penn is immediately falling in love with Rosie. Penn’s identity as a fiction writer means that he is a creative guy, but he is still somewhat of a realist, as he makes a distinction between himself and poets, who believe in romantic ideas like love at first sight. Penn might not believe in love at first sight, but it is still happening to him.
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Staring across the table from Rosie, Penn asks her if she has many brothers and sisters. Rosie looks down. She had a sister, but she died of cancer when she was 10 and Rosie was 12. Her name was Poppy, Rosie says. Their parents had a thing for flowers, and Poppy was nearly Gladiola. Maybe that is why she thinks being an only child is so sad, Penn says, and Rosie agrees. She likes him already, she says, probably because they are both only children. That night, as Penn lay in bed alone, he comes to a “realization.” He knows he will have a daughter named Poppy, even though he has no idea that Rosie herself came to this same realization years ago.
Penn’s realization that he is meant to have a daughter named Poppy isn’t a decision he makes or a desire he hopes will come true in the future; rather, it is like acknowledging a fact or stating the obvious. Penn will have a daughter named Poppy, and now he is aware of it. This again speaks to the importance of family in Penn and Rosie’s lives. Penn knows about his family—in a way, he can feel it—before it even takes form.
Themes
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