This Is How It Always Is

This Is How It Always Is

by

Laurie Frankel

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This Is How It Always Is: Part II: Fifty-Fifty Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Since Penn and Rosie’s house is so close to Marginny and Frank’s house, they start having dinner together once a month. They call it “Dueling Dinners,” and the adults gather in one house, while the children gather in the other. That way, the adults can sit and visit without constant interruption. At one such dinner, Frank asks what they plan to do when Poppy hits puberty. Rosie explains they will likely put Poppy on “hormone blockers” when she is around 11 or 12 years old, which will stop her body from producing hormones during puberty.
“Hormone blockers” will keep Poppy’s voice from changing and growing deeper, and they will also keep her from growing facial hair and other characteristics typically associated with men. Frank’s question is invasive and inappropriate. Of course, he is curious, but Poppy isn’t a project for him to look in on. Frank probably wouldn’t like others asking about Aggie’s puberty, so he shouldn’t be asking about Poppy’s.
Themes
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Frank says it is like they are giving Poppy, a child, a sex change, but Rosie explains it isn’t at all like that. The “hormone blockers” are completely reversible, but the effects of puberty are permanent. If Poppy’s changes her mind later, she can always go off the drugs; but if she waits and wants to take them later, it will be too late. Marginny points out that Poppy will remain a little girl after Aggie and all her friends become women, but, Penn points out, staying a little girl beats the alternative. 
Frank’s comments amount to little more than veiled judgement. Furthermore, Rosie is a doctor—everyone knows this—and she doesn’t need Frank telling her that “hormone blockers” amount to a sex change operation. Still, the hormone blockers will do nothing about the fact that Poppy’s body will not grow and mature the same way her friends’ bodies will.
Themes
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Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
Over at the other house with the kids, Cayenne asks Roo about a fight he got into a school. Fighting is “sexy,” Cayenne says, and she heard that Roo beat up Derek McGuiness because he called Roo “gay.” She asks if Roo really is gay, and when he says it is none of her business, she says she only asks because it opens up possibilities for them both.
Here, Cayenne implies that she has a crush on Roo. Her comment that fighting is “sexy” reflects gender stereotypes of men as strong and tough. Roo isn’t gay, but Derek thinks he is and starts a fight with him, which again underscores the widespread abuse and hate the LBGTQ community faces.
Themes
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Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
Cayenne says they should all play spin the bottle, but the boys aren’t really interested. As they bicker about playing, Aggie comments how lucky Poppy is to be a girl in a family full of boys. What if Poppy had been born a boy? That would be terrible, Aggie says. And, she adds, Poppy really dodged a bullet since her parents are so good at having boys. Ben points out that gender development is a fifty-fifty chance, and Aggie says that if Poppy’s parents hadn’t beat the fifty-fifty chance, then Aggie and Poppy couldn’t be best friends. “It would be the worst thing ever,” Aggie says, and Poppy agrees. It would definitely be bad, Poppy says.
Clearly, being born a boy is not “the worst thing ever,” and it obviously does not mean that Aggie and Poppy can’t be best friends, and Aggie’s comment underscores how ridiculous this assumption is. Of course, this likely feeds into why Poppy continues to keep her secret. Poppy fears that Aggie won’t be her friend if she knows she is transgender, and Aggie’s comment implies Poppy is right.
Themes
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Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
Quotes
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