Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in This Is How It Always Is, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Gender and Binaries
Secrets and Misunderstanding
Violence and Discrimination
Storytelling
Family
Summary
Analysis
Ben is secretly in love with Cayenne, but he doesn’t tell anyone because loving the girl next door is terribly cliché. Plus, Ben is expected to keep secrets all the time. Roo figures it out anyway, and he can’t figure out the attraction. Ben isn’t surprised Roo doesn’t understand, since Roo doesn’t like anyone. Weeks later, Ben finds the courage to ask Cayenne to homecoming, and by their families’ barbeque the summer before 11th grade, they have been together for a year.
Ben’s secret love for Cayenne suggests that many people have secrets; however, Ben’s secret feelings for Cayenne are not quite the same caliber as Poppy’s secret. Frankel doesn’t mean to imply that all secrets are a bad idea, just those of great significance. A teenage crush doesn’t hold the same significance and Poppy’s gender.
Themes
All through junior year, Ben folds a paper heart and paper butterfly each day. By senior year, Ben has 365 butterflies and 365 hearts, and on the day of the annual barbeque, he fills Cayenne’s room with them. Cayenne is delighted to find her room covered in paper hearts and butterflies, and as they try to find the bed, the barbeque goes on outside.
While it isn’t explicitly stated, Frankel implies that Ben and Cayenne’s relationship is sexual, which is another secret Ben keeps. In this way, Frankel argues that families keep secrets from each other all the time, as in the case of a teenager having sex.
Themes
Outside, the party is in full swing. There is a keg of beer, and everyone is feeling pretty good. The younger kids run around playing, and Orion accidentally lets slip that Poppy “used to be a boy.” Everyone stops and stares at each other, including Frank, Marginny, Rosie, Penn, and Poppy. Then, some more laughing kids run through, and Orion and his friends run off. Disaster is diverted, and everyone goes back to the party.
This is a very stressful moment for everyone involved, which underscores how easily transgender people are made to feel different and alienated. This also implies that Orion is incapable of keeping Poppy’s secret and suggests that her gender probably shouldn’t be a secret at all.
Themes
Later, Rosie is irritated about Orion’s comment, but Penn tells her doesn’t do any good to be mad now. Rosie isn’t mad now, she’s mad for the next time, she says. It is “preemptive madness,” she explains. Orion apologizes and claims it just slipped out. Everyone looks to Ben, who is usually the voice of reason. “Secrets are heavy things,” he says. Rosie tells Orion firmly that Poppy’s gender is Poppy’s business.
Rosie’s “preemptive madness” underscores how unhealthy keeping Poppy’s secret really is, since Rosie is spending time being angry over things that haven’t even happened yet. Ben’s comment suggests that Poppy’s secret is too “heavy” to carry forever, which again suggests Poppy’s gender perhaps shouldn’t be a secret in the first place.
Themes
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