This Is How It Always Is

This Is How It Always Is

by

Laurie Frankel

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This Is How It Always Is: Part IV: Ever Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Grumwald stands in front of the mirror dressed like Princess Stephanie and wonders what will happen when people find out. He has been keeping his secret for years. A witch cursed him long ago, making him Grumwald by day, and by night, Princess Stephanie. At first, the curse seemed terrible; however, Grumwald found a way. He made his own path, and he knew what it was like to be a princess because he knew how to be a prince. The two are not terribly different, he has learned. Only for Grumwald, the path got harder and harder to build, so he decides to go to the witch. It is better to face his fears than hide in misery.
This chapter constitutes Penn’s story, which is clearly a metaphor for Poppy’s experiences. Like Poppy, Grumwald lives as both genders, but he finds a way to be happy, which suggests Grumwald finds the “middle way.” Like Poppy, Grumwald learns that the “middle way” is difficult and staying on the path is hard. The “middle way” is the best way to live, but it is also the most difficult, which is why Poppy reverted back to Claude for a bit. 
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Storytelling Theme Icon
Grumwald goes to the witch and gives her a lock of Princess Stephanie’s hair for her arthritis, and she is glad to have it. She apologizes for not lifting the curse years ago. She is old, the witch says, and is getting feeble minded. In fact, she can’t remember if Grumwald is really a prince or a princess. It has been so long, she can’t remember him as anything but both. She asks him what it will be, Grumwald or Princess Stephanie, and Grumwald says he wants to be both. Alright, the witch says, she’ll just leave the curse as it. No, Grumwald says. He wants to be both—all the time.
Grumwald doesn’t want to remain as either Grumwald or Princess Stephanie, he wants to be both, which again suggests that gender is not a simple choice between male and female. Grumwald, like Poppy, embodies both male and female qualities, and he doesn’t want to choose in the name of maintaining and reflecting traditional gender roles. Penn believes the world is constantly changing, and gender norms, he hopes, are changing, too.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Storytelling Theme Icon
The witch immediately understands. Grumwald wants to be “betwixt.” It happens at times, she says. Grumwald asks if “betwixt” is just “a witchy way of saying in between,” and the witch says it is more complicated than that. “Betwixt” is more complicated and has more layers; it really isn’t a case of “neither-nor” as much as it is “both-and.” However, “betwixt” is a difficult path, the witch says, and it is no place for secrets. Secrets make people lonely, the witch says, and secrets lead to fear and hysteria. 
Like the “middle way,” being “betwixt” is a difficult road because it is a more complex way of viewing gender. “Betwixt” again implies that gender is not “neither-nor”—male or female—but is instead “both-and”—male and female. Like Grumwald, Poppy is “betwixt” and is a combination of both male and female. 
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
Storytelling Theme Icon
Quotes
The witch tells Grumwald that with honesty, he will “get magic. Twice.” First, by being honest and not keeping secrets, Grumwald will find that he is not alone, and then everything gets better. “You share your secret,” the witch says, “and you change the world.” It can’t be that simple, Grumwald says, but the witch assures him it is. Life is complicated, but the story is simple. Grumwald must tell his story. “That’s not magic,” Grumwald says. The witch disagrees. “Story is the best magic there is,” she says.
The ending of Penn’s story aligns with Frankel argument about the dangers of secrets. If Poppy is honest about her gender and shares her story like the witch is telling Grumwald to do, Penn believes Poppy can “change the world,” too. Grumwald seems to think this oversimplifies the problem, but the witch—and by extension Penn and Frankel—disagree. Penn implies that there is incredible power in Poppy’s story, and with it, Penn believes others can become more open-minded.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Storytelling Theme Icon
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