Turtles All the Way Down: Chapter 18 Summary & Analysis

Mom wakes Aza up at 6:50 and asks if she slept through her alarm. Aza makes it to school a half hour later, where Daisy tells her she looks sleepy. Daisy asks if they can hang out at Applebee's later. Aza feels ill all day and falls asleep sitting in Harold after school while she waits for Daisy to join her. She thinks she should call Dr. Singh but thinks that it won't do any good, since five years of therapy and three different medications aren't helping.

When Daisy gets into Harold, Aza quietly tells her that she barely changed her name in the fanfic and gave Ayala all Aza's personality traits and compulsions. Daisy defends herself by saying that Aza has never even read the stories before now. She concedes that creating Ayala was rude, but insists that Ayala is her own character now. She says that Aza's anxiety does invite disasters, and that being a witness to that anxiety is exhausting. Daisy says that Mychal says that Aza is like mustard: fine in small quantities, but not so great in large quantities.

Daisy apologizes for the mustard comment, but continues. She says that Aza doesn't even know Daisy’s parents' names or jobs and hasn't been to Daisy's apartment in five years. She says that Aza is privileged and doesn't know it: Aza got braces, a laptop, and has a parent who helps with homework, while Daisy shares a room with her sister. Daisy insists that Aza wants her to be a selfless, poor heroine, but says that being poor doesn't make a person pure or good. Daisy admits that she thought the money would make her more equal to Aza, but she only realizes now that Aza is privileged and too inside her own head to think about other people.

Aza feels like she's going to vomit. She can't decide if she deserves this or not as she merges onto the highway. As Daisy starts up again, Aza turns to her and asks her to imagine what it's like to actually be stuck in her head with no way out. She says that she's stuck with the mustard all the time as Daisy yells "Holmesy!" They collide with the car in front, the car behind hits them, and another car crashes as well.

Daisy asks Aza if she's okay. Aza feels dizzy from the pain and sees spots in her vision. When Daisy asks for Aza's phone to call 911, Aza tries to get out of Harold to get her dad's phone out of the trunk. A woman tries to tell Aza to stay in the car, but Aza struggles, half blind, to Harold's trunk. Harold is crushed in front and back, and Aza can't get the trunk open. Daisy starts yelling that they almost died and Aza is upset about the car. Finally, Aza gets the trunk open. The screen of her dad's phone is shattered, and it won't turn on. She sits back in the driver's seat.

A firefighter touches Aza's shoulder and tells her to not move. Aza tries to tell him that the phone is her dad's, and the firefighter assures Aza that her dad won't be mad that she got in an accident. Aza starts to cry and blacks out as the firefighters decide if she needs a backboard.

Aza wakes up for a moment in the ambulance, and then again in the hospital. Mom is next to her, crying. Aza tells her that Dad's phone is broken. Mom assures Aza that it's okay and collapses, crying, into Daisy. Daisy has a red welt on her collarbone from her seatbelt. A nurse takes Aza away to get a CT scan. She asks Aza if she was in a car accident and notes that seatbelts do damage even though they save your life. Aza asks if she's going to need antibiotics, but the nurse says she's not a doctor. After the scan, the nurse wheels Aza back to her room with Mom and Daisy. Mom cries and paces. Aza tells Daisy that she can go home if she wants, and Daisy decides to stay.