We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves

Rosemary is totally unsurprised by the fact that her family does not discuss her arrest at Thanksgiving. Her family pretends to be honest and “close-knit,” but this is not actually the case. For example, although her parents—who are both scientists—pretend to have a matter-of-fact attitude toward sex, they never explained anything related to puberty or sexuality to her. In 1996, Rosemary’s parents still live in Bloomington, Indiana, which is where she grew up. Apart from Thanksgiving dinner, she hardly sees her father, who is so busy working on a project sponsored by the National Institute of Health that he barely eats and sleeps. He does not openly drink when he is working this hard, which Rosemary and her mother appreciate, but Rosemary knows that he still drinks in secret.

Rosemary and her parents alternate spending Thanksgiving at the houses of her two grandmothers, Grandma Donna and Grandma Fredericka. This year they are at Donna’s house, along with Rosemary’s Uncle Bob, his wife Vivi, and their two children. Fredericka makes heavy food and bullies her guests into having multiple helpings; Donna’s food, however, is delicious, and her house is tastefully decorated. Donna asks Rosemary’s father about his current project, commenting that his mind is clearly elsewhere. Bob also makes a subtle “dig” at Rosemary’s father, but he doesn’t notice.

Rosemary’s father is a psychologist, a profession that has a bad reputation among people of Donna’s age. Rosemary knows that Donna wishes Rosemary’s mother had married someone else. Rosemary does not remember what the family discussed during the 1996 Thanksgiving dinner, but knows that they didn’t discuss her missing siblings. They also do not discuss politics (in order to avoid arguments), Rosemary’s brush with the law, or her cousin Peter’s terrible SAT scores. Peter is very handsome, a talented cellist, and is loved by everyone in the family. He is also exceptionally kind to his little sister, Janice, who is 14, “sullen,” and unattractive.

Vivi asks Rosemary’s father what he thinks of standardized tests, and he replies that they are “imprecise,” before boasting that Rosemary got excellent SAT scores. Rosemary’s mother attempts to smooth over this faux pas by explaining that Rosemary is an excellent test-taker due to have being tested so frequently as a child. Rosemary’s father continues to brag about her, and Peter kindly comments that he remembers Rosemary’s SAT scores, and that he personally thought that the test was very difficult.

The next day, Rosemary’s mother comes into Rosemary’s room while she is studying. Rosemary’s family has moved three times since she was born, most recently to this house in Bloomington, because the empty rooms in their old house made Rosemary’s mother feel depressed. At around the age of four, Rosemary invented an imaginary friend called Mary. Rosemary and Mary were inseparable until Rosemary’s mother told them that Mary couldn’t come to school with Rosemary. At first Rosemary worried that while she was gone Mary would “charm” her mother into liking her better; in the end Mary spent all day sleeping, and eventually left the family and was never mentioned again.

Back in 1996, Rosemary’s mother tells Rosemary that it hurts her father when she doesn’t speak to him. She then adds that Rosemary’s father has suggested that she should donate her old journals to a library, but that she would prefer to give them to Rosemary. Rosemary is moved by the fact that her mother would allow her to read her account of the past. Shortly after, Rosemary’s father comes in and gives her a fortune cookie message he has saved for her that reads: “Don’t forget, you are always on our minds.” For a moment, Rosemary sees her family as “good,” loving, and happy.