What Was She Thinking?: Notes on a Scandal

In November, on Guy Fawkes night, Barbara finally learns of the affair. Polly is currently being homeschooled, and her constant rudeness is stressing Sheba out tremendously. Sheba begs Barbara to come over and act as a buffer, especially because Richard’s ex-wife and stepdaughter will be joining the Hart family to watch the yearly fireworks.

When Barbara arrives, the dinner is already a mess, as the steak Sheba planned to cook has gone bad. As Sheba scrambles to whip up some pasta, she complains to Barbara about Polly’s terrible behavior. Richard’s ex-wife arrives, and she is quick to comment (a little snidely) on how “simple and homey” pasta will be. Barbara wonders why Sheba feels a need to remain so close with Richard’s former family.

After a fraught dinner, the whole party heads to Primrose Hill to watch the fireworks. Barbara has never liked fireworks, and she imagines that many of the other city-dwellers gathered on the cold hill feel similarly bored during the hourlong fireworks show. On the way home, the crowd surges, making it difficult for everyone to keep track of each other. Barbara notices Sheba talking to a young boy, and she realizes it is Connolly. When Sheba realizes Barbara has seen her, her eyes reflect fear but also a strange glee. And then, just at the moment Sheba and Barbara lock eyes, Ben runs up, leaping into his mom’s arms.

After everyone has returned to the Hart household, Barbara and Sheba go down to the basement. Sheba confesses that she has been having sex with Connolly for months—and that she lied to Barbara the first time they discussed the subject. Barbara expresses her horror, but Sheba is calm, describing the pleasure she takes in Connolly’s young body. Sheba, laughing that she seems “depraved,” even admits that she wishes she could burrow inside Connolly, “penetrating” him.

When Sheba declares that she is in love with Connolly, Barbara curses, a rarity for her, and argues that Sheba is getting love confused with sexual desire. But Sheba stands firm, asserting that her feelings for Connolly (whom she always calls “Stephen”) are actually “more powerful” than what she feels for Richard and her children. Sheba insists that the entire point of the experience is “there have to be some […] mysteries of human behavior—that can’t be fathomed.”

On the drive home, Barbara is livid that Sheba lied to her: “did our friendship mean anything to her?” Without realizing it, Barbara has been hitting the steering wheel so hard it leaves a mark on her hand. Barbara wonders if she should tell Pabblem. Though Barbara feels little concern for Connolly’s welfare, her rage at Sheba makes her want to be drastic.

Eventually, though, Barbara calms down, relaxing with her cat Portia in the dark. True friendship, Barbara reasons with herself, often requires weather crises together. By 2:00 AM, Barbara has resolved that Sheba needs her—and as she falls asleep, she vows to herself that she will help Sheba in her moment of need.