The Full Text of “I had been hungry, all the Years”
1I had been hungry, all the Years—
2My Noon had Come—to dine—
3I trembling drew the Table near—
4And touched the Curious Wine—
5’Twas this on Tables I had seen—
6When turning, hungry, Home
7I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
8I could not hope—for Mine—
9I did not know the ample Bread—
10’Twas so unlike the Crumb
11The Birds and I, had often shared
12In Nature’s—Dining Room—
13The Plenty hurt me—’twas so new—
14Myself felt ill—and odd—
15As Berry—of a Mountain Bush—
16Transplanted—to a Road—
17Nor was I hungry—so I found
18That Hunger—was a way
19Of Persons outside Windows—
20The Entering—takes away—
The Full Text of “I had been hungry, all the Years”
1I had been hungry, all the Years—
2My Noon had Come—to dine—
3I trembling drew the Table near—
4And touched the Curious Wine—
5’Twas this on Tables I had seen—
6When turning, hungry, Home
7I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
8I could not hope—for Mine—
9I did not know the ample Bread—
10’Twas so unlike the Crumb
11The Birds and I, had often shared
12In Nature’s—Dining Room—
13The Plenty hurt me—’twas so new—
14Myself felt ill—and odd—
15As Berry—of a Mountain Bush—
16Transplanted—to a Road—
17Nor was I hungry—so I found
18That Hunger—was a way
19Of Persons outside Windows—
20The Entering—takes away—
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Introduction
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Emily Dickinson's "I had been hungry, all the Years" explores what happens when someone gets exactly what they want. The poem's speaker has been starving their whole life, pressing their nose up against the windows of people who have plenty to eat. But when the speaker is finally presented with a full table, they find they've lost their appetite: their satisfied desire only leaves them feeling "ill—and odd." A fulfilled desire, this poem wryly observes, can feel an awful lot like a loss. This poem first appeared in the posthumous collection Poems (1891).
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Summary
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I'd been starving my whole life, but at long last, my time to eat had arrived. Shaking, I crept up to the table and touched the unfamiliar wine bottle.
I'd seen wine like this on tables before, when, on my hungry walks back home, I used to look in windows and envy all the food I couldn't have for myself.
I could hardly even recognize the abundant bread: it was nothing like the crumbs that I'd often shared with the birds in the "dining room" of nature.
All this food made me feel bad, it was so new to me. I felt sick and strange, like a wild mountain berry bush dug up and replanted at the side of the road.
I found I wasn't even hungry. That's how I discovered that only people who are held back from having what they want feel hunger; as soon as they're allowed to come to the table, their appetites disappear.
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Themes
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Wanting vs. Having
The speaker of “I had been hungry, all the Years” finally gets what they’ve been longing for: after a lifetime of starvation, they're invited to sit down at a table loaded with “plenty.” Now that they're there, though, they find that they've lost their appetite. Getting what you want, this poem suggests, can feel very different than you expected, and it might even be disappointing: after all, fulfilled desires aren't desires anymore.
The poem's speaker hasn't just been hungry, but starving. For “all the years” of their whole life, they've had to peer enviously through “Windows” at other people feasting while they live on a mere “crumb” or two. All this time, the speaker has longed to have what the people at the dining tables have: easy, plentiful, abundant nourishment.
When at last the speaker gets their wish, though, they find they don’t feel satisfied. In fact, they're downright uncomfortable. Though they're awestruck to finally be in the presence of the “Curious Wine” and “ample Bread” they'd desired all this time, they also feel as uneasy and out of place as a wild mountain berry bush that's been “transplanted” to the side of a road. Unused to having as much to eat as they want, they find the abundant food “hurt[s]” them, making them feel “ill.” Worst of all, faced with all this food, they find that they’re not even hungry anymore!
Only “Persons outside Windows”—those who don’t have what they want—can fully feel their hunger, the speaker concludes. “Entering” a time of satisfaction and fulfillment “takes away” one’s hunger, but that satisfaction itself makes it hard to really savor having the food.
The alert reader might observe that this isn't just a poem about literal hunger, but about the metaphorical hunger of desire in general. Whether what you want is food, fame, love, or wealth, getting it can also be a kind of loss. This speaker's desire gave them energy and a sense of identity as an outsider. Now that their desire is fulfilled, they're “transplanted” into a whole new life—and one that doesn’t give them all the pleasure they'd imagined. This, the poem says, is often how it goes with desire: one can only urgently want what one doesn't have.
- See where this theme is active in the poem.
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Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis of “I had been hungry, all the Years”
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Lines 1-4
I had been hungry, all the Years—
My Noon had Come—to dine—
I trembling drew the Table near—
And touched the Curious Wine—The poem begins at a dramatic climax in the speaker's life. For "all the Years" of their life, they've "been hungry": they've never once had quite enough to eat. Now, at long last, their "Noon ha[s] Come—to dine." In other words, it's finally mealtime. With the sun at its zenith overhead, it seems as if this is going to be a literal and figurative high point for the speaker, the culmination of a lifetime of desire.
At first, it sounds as if the speaker can hardly believe their good fortune:
I trembling drew the Table near—
And touched the Curious Wine—Shaking with nerves, the speaker approaches the "Curious Wine" (that is, the strange, unfamiliar wine) as reverently as if it were a sacred artifact. The delicate /t/ alliteration of "trembling," "Table," and "touched" suggests just how carefully, how unbelievingly, the speaker is moving: all those /t/ sounds hit like the very tips of the speaker's fingers touching that wine, at long last.
In a lot of ways, this first stanza feels like classic Emily Dickinson:
- For instance, it uses Dickinson's favorite meter: common measure, a pattern of alternating iambic tetrameter (lines of four iambs, metrical feet with a da-DUM rhythm: "I had | been hun- | gry all | the years") and iambic trimeter (lines of three iambs: "My Noon | had Come— | to dine—").
- Usually, however, Dickinson would pair this meter with the classic ballad rhyme scheme: ABCB. (In fact, later in the poem, that's the pattern she'll choose.) In this first stanza, however, things are a little more concentrated: rhyming both "Years" and "near," "dine" and "wine," Dickinson uses an ABAB scheme.
- That extra A rhyme makes these first lines feel as focused as the speaker's gaze as they stare at this unfamiliar loaded table.
This intense, dramatic first stanza leaves the speaker (and the reader) in suspense. This person has starved their whole life; now, faced with a feast, what will they do?
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Lines 5-8
’Twas this on Tables I had seen—
When turning, hungry, Home
I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
I could not hope—for Mine— -
Lines 9-12
I did not know the ample Bread—
’Twas so unlike the Crumb
The Birds and I, had often shared
In Nature’s—Dining Room— -
Lines 13-16
The Plenty hurt me—’twas so new—
Myself felt ill—and odd—
As Berry—of a Mountain Bush—
Transplanted—to a Road— -
Lines 17-20
Nor was I hungry—so I found
That Hunger—was a way
Of Persons outside Windows—
The Entering—takes away—
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Symbols
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Hunger
The speaker's lifelong hunger can be read as a symbol of desire in general. The poem suggests that whatever you're hungry for (be it fame, fortune, love, etc.), you might not be so happy when you get it as you imagine. The speaker longs for food their whole life, only to find that, as soon as there's a groaning table in front of them, they've unaccountably lost their appetite. Read hunger symbolically, and this poem is about what often happens when people's fondest dreams come true. Rather than finding that they're satisfied at last, people whose desires are met might well feel at loose ends!
- See where this symbol appears in the poem.
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Poetic Devices & Figurative Language
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Simile
An elaborate simile in the fourth stanza suggests that longing has become a way of life for this speaker.
As soon as the speaker sits down to the meal they've hungered for their whole life, they find that it just isn't hitting the spot the way they expected it to. Rather than feeling as if their wildest dream has come true, they discover that they only feel "ill—and odd." A big part of that discomfort seems to be that they feel out of place:
As Berry—of a Mountain Bush—
Transplanted—to a Road—This simile suggests that the speaker has been used to feeling like an outsider: a tough, lonely being that grows in the wilderness, not a civilized creature from town. (The speaker's earlier line about sharing crumbs with birds in nature's metaphorical "Dining Room" supports this idea, too.) "Transplanted—to a Road," the speaker might feel both bewildered by all the action and just plain uncomfortable. The light and noise of civilization might feel unfamiliar and unfriendly after their mountaintop seclusion.
All of these images make it clear that the speaker's hunger might be more than the physical kind. The speaker also seems to have hungered for belonging: the full, satisfying life inside the "Windows" they used to peek through. Now that they have it, though, they find they've grown so used to being an outsider that they can't quite feel at home on the inside.
- See where this poetic device appears in the poem.
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Irony
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Alliteration
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Caesura
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"I had been hungry, all the Years" Vocabulary
Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.
- Curious
- 'Twas
- Ample
- Plenty
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Strange, unfamiliar.
- See where this vocabulary word appears in the poem.
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Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme of “I had been hungry, all the Years”
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Form
"I had been hungry, all the Years" uses one of Dickinson's favorite shapes: ballad stanzas. That means that each of this poem's five quatrains (that is, four-line stanzas) uses:
- An ABCB rhyme scheme;
- And common meter, a meter written in alternating lines of iambic tetrameter (four feet with a da-DUM rhythm, as in "I had | been hun- | gry all | the years") and lines of iambic trimeter (three da-DUMS, as in "My Noon | had Come— | to dine—").
However, Dickinson breaks from these patterns more than once across the poem, giving a familiar old form—which readers might recognize from folk songs or old hymns—a slightly off feeling that suits the speaker's surprise and discomfort. Each compact little stanza traces a stage in the speaker's slow realization: getting what you want doesn't always mean feeling satisfied or happy.
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Meter
"I had been hungry, all the Years" is written in common meter (also known as common measure). This is an iambic meter: that is, it's built from iambs, metrical feet with a da-DUM rhythm. Each stanza of common meter contains four lines that alternate between iambic tetrameter (four iambs in a row) and iambic trimeter (three iambs in a row).
Here's how that all comes together in lines 13-14:
The Plen- | ty hurt | me—'twas | so new—
Myself | felt ill— | and odd—This simple, steady rhythm was one of Dickinson's favorites—a plain brown wrapping for complicated thoughts.
This poem, however, adds a tiny twist to its meter right at the end. Listen carefully to the meter in the two closing lines, where the speaker discovers that hunger is only "a way":
Of Per- | sons out- | side Windows—
The Ent- | ering—takes | away—Here, two flat lines of trimeter break from the poem's alternating pattern, bringing the poem to a jolting halt. The realization that a satisfied desire isn't a desire anymore takes the wind right out of the speaker's sails.
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Rhyme Scheme
Written in ballad stanzas, this poem mostly uses the standard ballad rhyme scheme:
ABCB
However, the poem sometimes takes a little detour from that pattern. Take the very first stanza, which rhymes like this:
ABAB
Even more subtly, Dickinson often uses slant rhyme rather than full rhyme: for instance, pairing "Home" and "Mine" in lines 6 and 8, "Crumb" and "Room" in lines 10 and 12, and "odd" and "Road" in lines 14 and 16. In fact, the first and last stanzas are the only two that use full rhyme.
Taken all together, there's a funny combination of familiarity and oddity here. The rhyme scheme feels simple at first, but plenty of irregularities leave things feeling just a trifle strange. That beautifully suits the speaker's mood as they discover that the feast they longed for all their life just makes them feel "ill—and odd" now that they're sitting down in front of it.
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Speaker
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The poem's speaker is an odd, furtive person. Living in hunger for years, they almost seem to have gone feral: they've shared their "Crumb[s]" with the birds in "Nature's—Dining Room," and they feel more like a "Berry—of a Mountain Bush" than a person who lives in civilization.
Still, they've been pressing their nose against the windows of wealthier, better-fed people for a long time—so long that it comes as a big surprise to them when they're at last allowed to sit down at a full table. Faced with abundance, they only feel "ill—and odd," out of place, not even hungry anymore. Their long life as an outsider means that they don't know how to handle getting what they want.
This speaker's predicament is a common one: plenty of people discover that getting their heart's desire isn't all they hoped it might be. This particular portrait of a nature-loving, hungry, thoughtful outsider, however, might draw on the famously reclusive Dickinson's own life.
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“I had been hungry, all the Years” Setting
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There's no specific setting in this poem. The only details the poem gives suggest a contrast between the civilized world, where lucky, wealthy people eat their fill, and the natural world, where the speaker starves with only birds for company.
This juxtaposition of the bountiful indoors and the lonesome outdoors suggests that the speaker's hunger hasn't just been for food but for acceptance. When they finally get the chance to sit down at a laden table indoors, they find they just don't feel at home in the civilized world. Their time as a hungry outsider might have made satisfaction feel too strange to bear.
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Literary and Historical Context of “I had been hungry, all the Years”
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Literary Context
Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) published almost nothing during her lifetime, and after 1865 she rarely even left her family home in Amherst, Massachusetts. But from within her circumscribed world, she explored the heights and depths of human experience through her groundbreaking, world-changing poetry.
No one else sounds quite like Dickinson. Her poems use simple, folky forms—ballad stanzas, for instance—to explore profound philosophical questions, passionate loves, and the mysteries of nature. This poem uses plenty of Dickinson's characteristic dashes; here, they make the speaker sound halting and perplexed as they puzzle over why on earth they've lost their appetite now that they have plenty to eat.
While Dickinson didn't get too involved in the literary world of her time, she was still part of a swell of 19th-century American innovation. Her contemporary Walt Whitman (who became as famous as Dickinson was obscure) was similarly developing an unprecedented and unique poetic voice, and the Transcendentalists (like Emerson and Thoreau) shared her deep belief in the spiritual power of nature. Dickinson herself was inspired by English writers like William Wordsworth and Charlotte Brontë, whose works similarly found paths through the everyday world into the sublime, terrifying, and astonishing.
After Dickinson died, her sister Lavinia discovered a trunk of nearly 1,800 secret poems squirreled away in a bedroom. Published at last, Dickinson's poetry became internationally famous and beloved. Dickinson's work and her life story still influence all kinds of artists.
Historical Context
This poem's portrait of an odd, staring outsider might draw on Dickinson's own experience. Dickinson was famously reclusive and shy; wearing white gowns, rarely leaving the family home she shared with her parents and her sister Lavinia, she cut a ghostly figure. The speaker here shares Dickinson's experience of feeling like an odd duck, cut off from mainstream society, more at home in a field than a parlor.
Within the tight confines of her home, Dickinson led a huge life. A lot of her poems—like this one—are set in the ordinary rural American world around her, but use that everyday terrain as a leaping-off point for profound insights into humanity and the divine.
In one sense, Dickinson shut herself away from a wildly eventful period of American history. She lived during the Civil War years and saw huge political change and chaos without ever writing much about it directly (though her many poems about death and grief suggest she was certainly affected by what was happening around her). In another sense, though, she had her finger on the world's pulse: her innovative work would one day revolutionize American poetry.
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More “I had been hungry, all the Years” Resources
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External Resources
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The Emily Dickinson Museum — Visit the website of the Emily Dickinson Museum to find a treasure trove of information on Dickinson's life and work.
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Dickinson's Influence — Listen to the contemporary writer Jo Shapcott discussing how important Dickinson has been to her.
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The Poem Aloud — Listen to a reading of the poem.
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The Poem in Manuscript — Take a look at Dickinson's handwritten copy of the poem.
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LitCharts on Other Poems by Emily Dickinson
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