"Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae" is the British poet Ernest Dowson's song of hopeless longing. In the poem, a languishing speaker laments that, no matter how hard he tries to distract himself with sex and partying, thoughts of his lost love, Cynara, always intrude on his fun. Though he's had plenty of lovers since Cynara, his haunting memories of his purer, deeper love for her keep him "faithful" to her "in [his] fashion." This poem first appeared in an 1894 anthology by a group of poets known as the Rhymers' Club, many of whom were notable members of the Decadent movement.
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1Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine
2There fell thy shadow, Cynara! thy breath was shed
3Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine;
4And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
5 Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head:
6I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
7All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat,
8Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay;
9Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet;
10But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
11 When I awoke and found the dawn was grey:
12I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
13I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind,
14Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng,
15Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind,
16But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
17 Yea, all the time, because the dance was long:
18I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
19I cried for madder music and for stronger wine,
20But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,
21Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! the night is thine;
22And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,
23 Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire:
24I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
1Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine
2There fell thy shadow, Cynara! thy breath was shed
3Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine;
4And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
5 Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head:
6I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
7All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat,
8Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay;
9Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet;
10But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
11 When I awoke and found the dawn was grey:
12I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
13I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind,
14Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng,
15Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind,
16But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
17 Yea, all the time, because the dance was long:
18I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
19I cried for madder music and for stronger wine,
20But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,
21Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! the night is thine;
22And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,
23 Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire:
24I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine
There fell thy shadow, Cynara! thy breath was shed
Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine;
And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat,
Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay;
Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet;
But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
When I awoke and found the dawn was grey:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind,
Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng,
Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind,
But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, all the time, because the dance was long:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
I cried for madder music and for stronger wine,
But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,
Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! the night is thine;
And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.
Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.
The Poem and Decadence — Listen to a four-minute "micro-lecture" on the poem by Professor Michael Blackburn, who discusses the way the poem fits into the Decadent movement.
An Essay About the Poem — Read a short reflection on the poem from The Guardian.
A Brief Biography — Learn more about Dowson's life from the Encyclopedia Britannica.
The Poem Aloud — Listen to the great Shakespearean actor Richard Burton read the poem.
Background on Dawson's Language — Learn some entertaining background on Ernest Dawson's influence on the English language—including the fact that he's the first person on record to have called football "soccer"!