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Henry IV, Part 2

Henry IV, Part 2 Translation Act 5, Scene 3

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Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH, and the PAGE

SHALLOW

Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbor, we will eat a last year’s pippin of my own graffing, with a dish of caraways, and so forth. —Come, cousin Silence. —And then to bed.

SHALLOW

Now you can see my garden. We can sit in the arbor and eat last year's pippin apples that I grafted myself, along with a dish of caraway apples, and so on.

[To SILENCE] Come on, Silence.

[To the others] And then we'll all go to bed. 

FALSTAFF

Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.

FALSTAFF

By God, you've got a lovely place here—and an expensive one at that. 

SHALLOW

Barren, barren, barren, beggars all, beggars all, Sir John. Marry, good air. —Spread, Davy, spread, Davy. Well said, Davy.

SHALLOW

It's worthless, worthless, worthless. We are all poor, all poor, Sir John. But at least we have fresh air.

[To DAVY] Set the table, Davy, set the table. Well done, Davy. 

FALSTAFF

This Davy serves you for good uses. He is your servingmanand your husband.

FALSTAFF

This Davy does so much for you. He's both your attendant and your steward. 

SHALLOW

A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John. Bythe Mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper. A goodvarlet. Now sit down, now sit down.—Come, cousin.

SHALLOW

He is a good servant, a very good servant, Sir John. Oh God, I have had too much wine with dinner. A good servant. Now come on, let's sit down. Sit down now. Come on. 

SILENCE

Ah, sirrah, quoth he, we shall Do nothing but eat and make good cheer, [sings] And praise God for the merry year, When flesh is cheap and females dear, And lusty lads roam here and there So merrily, And ever among so merrily.

SILENCE

"Yes, sir," he said. We will do nothing but eat and be happy—
[Singing]
And thank God for a happy year,
When meat is cheap, but women are expensive, 
And lusty lads go here and there, 
So happily,
Always so happily. 

FALSTAFF

There’s a merry heart!—Good Master Silence, I’ll give youa health for that anon.

FALSTAFF

That's the spirit! Master Silence, I will toast to you in just a moment. 

SHALLOW

Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.

SHALLOW

Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy. 

DAVY

Sweet sir, sit. I’ll be with you anon. Most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit. Proface. What you want in meat, we’ll have in drink, but you must bear. The heart’s all.

DAVY

Kind sir, sit down. I'll be with you in just a minute. Most kind sir, sit down, please. Master Page, good master Page, sit down as well. Welcome! Although we don't have much food, we can make up for it with what we have in drink! You just have to put up with it, the heart's what matters!

Exit DAVY

SHALLOW

Be merry, Master Bardolph. —And, my little soldier there,be merry.

SHALLOW

Have fun, Master Bardolph. And you too, my little soldier there, have some fun!

SILENCE

[sings] Be merry, be merry, my wife has all, For women are shrews, both short and tall. 'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all, And welcome merry Shrovetide. Be merry, be merry.

SILENCE

[Singing]
Be happy, be happy, my wife has it all, 
Since women can be shrews, whether they're short of they're tall.
Be happy at a party when men joke around, 
And let's all be happy on this Shrovetide.
Be happy, be happy!

FALSTAFF

I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.

FALSTAFF

I didn't think Master Silence had this in him.

SILENCE

Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.

SILENCE

What, me? I've let my hair down a few times in my life. 

Enter DAVY

DAVY

[To BARDOLPH] There’s a dish of leather-coats for you.

DAVY

[To BARDOLPH] Here's a dish of russet apples for you.

SHALLOW

Davy!

SHALLOW

Davy!

DAVY

Your Worship, I’ll be with you straight.— [to BARDOLPH] A cup of wine, sir?

DAVY

Yes, sir, I'll be with you in a minute.

[To BARDOLPH]
Would you like a glass of wine, sir?

SILENCE

[sings] A cup of wine that’s brisk and fine,And drink unto thee, leman mine,And a merry heart lives long-a.

SILENCE

[Singing]
A
 glass of wine is quick and fine, 
And drink to you, sweetheart of mine, 
A happy heart lives long!

FALSTAFF

Well said, Master Silence.

FALSTAFF

Well said, Master Silence. 

SILENCE

And we shall be merry; now comes in the sweet o' th' night.

SILENCE

So let's have some fun. Now is the best time of the night. 

FALSTAFF

Health and long life to you, Master Silence.

FALSTAFF

May you have good health and a long life, Master Silence. 

SILENCE

[sings] Fill the cup, and let it come,I’ll pledge you a mile to th' bottom.

SILENCE

[Singing]
Fill up your cup and pass it round, 
I'll drink right to the bottom,
Even if it's a mile to the ground. 

SHALLOW

Honest Bardolph, welcome. If thou wantest anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. [to the PAGE] Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed too. I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the cabileros about London.

SHALLOW

Welcome, honest Bardolph. If you ever want something and don't ask for it, that's your own fault.

[To the PAGE]
Welcome, my little tiny thief, a very warm welcome indeed. I will drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the fine gentlemen of London.

DAVY

I hope to see London once ere I die.

DAVY

I would like to see London before I die.

BARDOLPH

And I might see you there, Davy!

BARDOLPH

And I might see you there, Davy!

SHALLOW

By the Mass, you’ll crack a quart together, ha, will you not,Master Bardolph?

SHALLOW

By God, you'll drink a whole quart between the two of you, won't you, Master Bardolph?

BARDOLPH

Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.

BARDOLPH

Yes we will, sir, in a two-quart glass!

SHALLOW

By God’s liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick bythee,I can assure thee that. He will not out, he. 'Tis true bred!

SHALLOW

By God's eyes, I thank you. This rascal will stick with you, I can promise you that. He won't drop out, he's been raised well.

BARDOLPH

And I’ll stick by him, sir.

BARDOLPH

I'll stick by him too, sir. 

SHALLOW

Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing, be merry. [One knocks at door.] Look who’s at door there, ho. Who knocks?

SHALLOW

Spoken just like a king. Have whatever you want, enjoy yourselves! [There is knocking heard offstage] Hey, Davy, go see who's at the door. Who is knocking?

Exit DAVY

FALSTAFF

[to SILENCE] Why, now you have done me right.

FALSTAFF

[To SILENCE] Why, you're managing to drink just as much as I do!

SILENCE

[sings] Do me right, And dub me knight, Samingo. Is ’t not so?

SILENCE

[Singing]
Keep up with me, 

And call me a knight,
Samingo.
Isn't that right?

FALSTAFF

'Tis so.

FALSTAFF

It certainly is. 

SILENCE

Is ’t so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.

SILENCE

Is it? Well then, you need to admit that an old man can do some things. 

Enter DAVY

DAVY

An ’t please your Worship, there’s one Pistol come fromthecourt with news.

DAVY

Sir, if I may, a man called Pistol is here from the court with some news.

FALSTAFF

From the court? Let him come in.

FALSTAFF

From the court? Let him come in. 

Enter PISTOL

How now, Pistol?

How are you, Pistol?

PISTOL

Sir John, God save you.

PISTOL

God save you, Sir John. 

FALSTAFF

What wind blew you hither, Pistol?

FALSTAFF

What wind blew you here, Pistol?

PISTOL

Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.

PISTOL

Don't worry, it's not a bad wind that doesn't blow any man towards something good. My sweet knight, you are now one of the biggest man in this whole country.

SILENCE

By 'r Lady, I think he be, but Goodman Puff of Barson.

SILENCE

Truthfully, I think he would be, if it weren't for that good man, Puff from Barson.

PISTOL

Puff? Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!— Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend, And helter-skelter have I rode to thee, And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys, And golden times, and happy news of price.

PISTOL

Puff? Puff in your mouth, you disloyal coward! Sir John, I am your Pistol and your friend, and I rode here as quick as I could to tell you something. I bring you good luck, joyful times, and happy, important news. 

FALSTAFF

I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.

FALSTAFF

Please, tell me this news like an ordinary person in the world.

PISTOL

A foutre for the world and worldlings base!I speak of Africa and golden joys.

PISTOL

Curse this world and the awful people in it! I have news about Africa, and its golden riches!

FALSTAFF

O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.

FALSTAFF

Oh, you vile Assyrian knight, what is your news? Tell King Cophetua what you know. 

SILENCE

[sings] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.

SILENCE

[Singing]
And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.

PISTOL

Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons,And shall good news be baffled?Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.

PISTOL

Will dirty dogs attack the Muses of poetry? Will my happy news be ruined like this? If so, then Pistol, go ahead and enlist the help of the Furies, those forces of revenge. 

SILENCE

Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.

SILENCE

Honest gentleman, I don't know how you were raised.

PISTOL

Why then, lament therefor.

PISTOL

That's a shame for you. 

SHALLOW

Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways, either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, under the King in some authority.

SHALLOW

Pardon me, sir, but if you come with news from the court, it seems like you only have two options: either to tell us what you know, or conceal what you know. I have some power from the King, I will have you know. 

PISTOL

Under which king, besonian? Speak or die.

PISTOL

From which King, you fool? Speak, or die. 

SHALLOW

Under King Harry.

SHALLOW

From King Henry.

PISTOL

Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?

PISTOL

Henry the Fourth, or Henry the Fifth?

SHALLOW

Harry the Fourth.

SHALLOW

Henry the Fourth.

PISTOL

A foutre for thine office!— Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king. Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth. When Pistol lies, do this [he makes an obscene gesture] and fig me, like The bragging Spaniard.

PISTOL

Then damn your power! Sir John, your little lamb is now the king. Henry the Fifth is now the man. I am telling you the truth. If Pistol is a liar, then do this, [He makes an obscene gesture] and tell me to go screw myself, like some ridiculous Spanish man.

FALSTAFF

What, is the old king dead?

FALSTAFF

What, is the old king dead?

PISTOL

As nail in door. The things I speak are just.

PISTOL

Dead as a doornail. I am telling you the truth.

FALSTAFF

Away, Bardolph.—Saddle my horse.—Master RobertShallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.

FALSTAFF

Get going, Bardolph—saddle up my horse ready to leave. Master Robert Shallow, choose whatever job you want to have in this country, and you can have it. Pistol, I will give you so many honors!

BARDOLPH

O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.

BARDOLPH

Oh, what a happy day! I wouldn't even choose a knighthood over my new, good fortune! 

PISTOL

What, I do bring good news!

PISTOL

See, didn't I tell you that I brought good news!

FALSTAFF

Carry Master Silence to bed.—Master Shallow, my LordShallow, be what thou wilt. I am Fortune’s steward. Geton thy boots. We’ll ride all night.—O sweet Pistol!—Away, Bardolph!

FALSTAFF

Put Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, or Lord Shallow—call yourself whatever you want. I am in charge of people's fortunes now! Put on your boots. It's time for us to go. We will ride all night. Oh, sweet Pistol! Let's go, Bardolph!

Exit BARDOLPH

Come, Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow. I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man’s horses. The laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!

Come, Pistol, tell me more about what has happened, and we will come up with something good for you. We need our boots, our boots, Master Shallow. I know the young King needs me. Let us take any horses—I now control all of the laws of England. Anyone who has been my friend is lucky, and you just be careful, my Lord Chief Justice!

PISTOL

Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!“Where is the life that late I led?” say they.Why, here it is. Welcome these pleasant days.

PISTOL

Let vultures eat out his lungs as well! At some point, people have to say, "Where is the life that I used to lead?" Well, that moment is here for us—welcome to a happier time. 

Exeunt

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Lani strange
About the Translator: Lani Strange

Lani is currently studying for an MA in Shakespeare Studies at King's College London and Shakespeare's Globe. She has a BA in English and Latin Literature from the University of Warwick and worked as a Teacher of Drama for a year in between her undergraduate and postgraduate degrees. She has a love for all things theatrical and spends all of her free time either watching theatre or taking part in it herself.