Henry IV, Part 2 Translation Act 5, Scene 3
Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH, and the PAGE
SHALLOW
Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbor, we will eat a last year’s pippin of my own graffing, with adish of caraways, and so forth. —Come, cousin Silence. —And then to bed.
SHALLOW
Now you can see my garden. We can sit in the arbor and eat last year's pippin apples that I grafted myself, along with a dish of caraway apples, and so on.
[To SILENCE] Come on, Silence.
[To the others] And then we'll all go to bed.
FALSTAFF
Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.
FALSTAFF
By God, you've got a lovely place here—and an expensive one at that.
SHALLOW
Barren, barren, barren, beggars all, beggars all, Sir John. Marry, good air. —Spread, Davy, spread, Davy. Well said, Davy.
SHALLOW
It's worthless, worthless, worthless. We are all poor, all poor, Sir John. But at least we have fresh air.
[To DAVY] Set the table, Davy, set the table. Well done, Davy.
FALSTAFF
This Davy serves you for good uses. He is your servingman and your husband.
FALSTAFF
This Davy does so much for you. He's both your attendant and your steward.
SHALLOW
A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir John. By the Mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper.A good varlet. Now sit down, now sit down.—Come, cousin.
SHALLOW
He is a good servant, a very good servant, Sir John. Oh God, I have had too much wine with dinner. A good servant. Now come on, let's sit down. Sit down now. Come on.
SILENCE
Ah, sirrah, quoth he, we shall Do nothing but eat and make good cheer, [sings] And praise God for the merry year, When flesh is cheap and females dear, And lusty lads roam here and there So merrily, And ever among so merrily.
SILENCE
"Yes, sir," he said. We will do nothing but eat and be happy—
[Singing]
And thank God for a happy year,
When meat is cheap, but women are expensive,
And lusty lads go here and there,
So happily,
Always so happily.
FALSTAFF
There’s a merry heart!—Good Master Silence, I’ll give you a health for that anon.
FALSTAFF
That's the spirit! Master Silence, I will toast to you in just a moment.
SHALLOW
Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
SHALLOW
Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
DAVY
Sweet sir, sit. I’ll be with you anon. Most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit. Proface. What you want in meat, we’ll have in drink, but you must bear. The heart’s all.
DAVY
Kind sir, sit down. I'll be with you in just a minute. Most kind sir, sit down, please. Master Page, good master Page, sit down as well. Welcome! Although we don't have much food, we can make up for it with what we have in drink! You just have to put up with it, the heart's what matters!
Exit DAVY
SHALLOW
Be merry, Master Bardolph. —And, my little soldier there, be merry.
SHALLOW
Have fun, Master Bardolph. And you too, my little soldier there, have some fun!
SILENCE
[sings] Be merry, be merry, my wife has all, For women are shrews, both short and tall. 'Tis merry in hall whenbeards wag all, And welcome merry Shrovetide. Be merry,be merry.
SILENCE
[Singing]
Be happy, be happy, my wife has it all,
Since women can be shrews, whether they're short of they're tall.
Be happy at a party when men joke around,
And let's all be happy on this Shrovetide.
Be happy, be happy!
FALSTAFF
I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this mettle.
FALSTAFF
I didn't think Master Silence had this in him.
SILENCE
Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
SILENCE
What, me? I've let my hair down a few times in my life.
Enter DAVY
DAVY
[To BARDOLPH] There’s a dish of leather-coats for you.
DAVY
[To BARDOLPH] Here's a dish of russet apples for you.
SHALLOW
Davy!
SHALLOW
Davy!
DAVY
Your Worship, I’ll be with you straight.— [to BARDOLPH] A cup of wine, sir?
DAVY
Yes, sir, I'll be with you in a minute.
[To BARDOLPH] Would you like a glass of wine, sir?
SILENCE
[sings] A cup of wine that’s brisk and fine, And drink unto thee, leman mine, And a merry heart lives long-a.
SILENCE
[Singing]
A glass of wine is quick and fine,
And drink to you, sweetheart of mine,
A happy heart lives long!
FALSTAFF
Well said, Master Silence.
FALSTAFF
Well said, Master Silence.
SILENCE
And we shall be merry; now comes in the sweet o' th' night.
SILENCE
So let's have some fun. Now is the best time of the night.
FALSTAFF
Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
FALSTAFF
May you have good health and a long life, Master Silence.
SILENCE
[sings] Fill the cup, and let it come, I’ll pledge you a mile to th' bottom.
SILENCE
[Singing]
Fill up your cup and pass it round,
I'll drink right to the bottom,
Even if it's a mile to the ground.
SHALLOW
Honest Bardolph, welcome. If thou wantest anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. — [to the PAGE] Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed too. I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the cabileros about London.
SHALLOW
Welcome, honest Bardolph. If you ever want something and don't ask for it, that's your own fault.
[To the PAGE] Welcome, my little tiny thief, a very warm welcome indeed. I will drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the fine gentlemen of London.
DAVY
I hope to see London once ere I die.
DAVY
I would like to see London before I die.
BARDOLPH
And I might see you there, Davy!
BARDOLPH
And I might see you there, Davy!
SHALLOW
By the Mass, you’ll crack a quart together, ha, will you not, Master Bardolph?
SHALLOW
By God, you'll drink a whole quart between the two of you, won't you, Master Bardolph?
BARDOLPH
Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
BARDOLPH
Yes we will, sir, in a two-quart glass!
SHALLOW
By God’s liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick bythee, I can assure thee that. He will not out, he. 'Tistrue bred!
SHALLOW
By God's eyes, I thank you. This rascal will stick with you, I can promise you that. He won't drop out, he's been raised well.
BARDOLPH
And I’ll stick by him, sir.
BARDOLPH
I'll stick by him too, sir.
SHALLOW
Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing, be merry. [One knocks at door.] Look who’s at door there, ho. Who knocks?
SHALLOW
Spoken just like a king. Have whatever you want, enjoy yourselves! [There is knocking heard offstage] Hey, Davy, go see who's at the door. Who is knocking?
Exit DAVY
FALSTAFF
[to SILENCE] Why, now you have done me right.
FALSTAFF
[To SILENCE] Why, you're managing to drink just as much as I do!
SILENCE
[sings] Do me right, And dub me knight, Samingo. Is ’t not so?
SILENCE
[Singing]
Keep up with me,
And call me a knight,
Samingo.
Isn't that right?
FALSTAFF
'Tis so.
FALSTAFF
It certainly is.
SILENCE
Is ’t so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
SILENCE
Is it? Well then, you need to admit that an old man can do some things.
Enter DAVY
DAVY
An ’t please your Worship, there’s one Pistol come fromthe court with news.
DAVY
Sir, if I may, a man called Pistol is here from the court with some news.
FALSTAFF
From the court? Let him come in.
FALSTAFF
From the court? Let him come in.
Enter PISTOL
How now, Pistol?
How are you, Pistol?
PISTOL
Sir John, God save you.
PISTOL
God save you, Sir John.
FALSTAFF
What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
FALSTAFF
What wind blew you here, Pistol?
PISTOL
Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
PISTOL
Don't worry, it's not a bad wind that doesn't blow any man towards something good. My sweet knight, you are now one of the biggest man in this whole country.
SILENCE
By 'r Lady, I think he be, but Goodman Puff of Barson.
SILENCE
Truthfully, I think he would be, if it weren't for that good man, Puff from Barson.
PISTOL
Puff? Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!— Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend, And helter-skelter have I rode to thee, And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys, And golden times, and happy news of price.
PISTOL
Puff? Puff in your mouth, you disloyal coward! Sir John, I am your Pistol and your friend, and I rode here as quick as I could to tell you something. I bring you good luck, joyful times, and happy, important news.
FALSTAFF
I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
FALSTAFF
Please, tell me this news like an ordinary person in the world.
PISTOL
A foutre for the world and worldlings base! I speak of Africa and golden joys.
PISTOL
Curse this world and the awful people in it! I have news about Africa, and its golden riches!
FALSTAFF
O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
FALSTAFF
Oh, you vile Assyrian knight, what is your news? Tell King Cophetua what you know.
SILENCE
[sings] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
SILENCE
[Singing]
And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
PISTOL
Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons, And shall good news be baffled? Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
PISTOL
Will dirty dogs attack the Muses of poetry? Will my happy news be ruined like this? If so, then Pistol, go ahead and enlist the help of the Furies, those forces of revenge.
SILENCE
Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
SILENCE
Honest gentleman, I don't know how you were raised.
PISTOL
Why then, lament therefor.
PISTOL
That's a shame for you.
SHALLOW
Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways, either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, under the King in some authority.
SHALLOW
Pardon me, sir, but if you come with news from the court, it seems like you only have two options: either to tell us what you know, or conceal what you know. I have some power from the King, I will have you know.
PISTOL
Under which king, besonian? Speak or die.
PISTOL
From which King, you fool? Speak, or die.
SHALLOW
Under King Harry.
SHALLOW
From King Henry.
PISTOL
Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?
PISTOL
Henry the Fourth, or Henry the Fifth?
SHALLOW
Harry the Fourth.
SHALLOW
Henry the Fourth.
PISTOL
A foutre for thine office!— Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king. Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth. When Pistol lies, do this [he makes an obscene gesture] and fig me, like The bragging Spaniard.
PISTOL
Then damn your power! Sir John, your little lamb is now the king. Henry the Fifth is now the man. I am telling you the truth. If Pistol is a liar, then do this, [He makes an obscene gesture] and tell me to go screw myself, like some ridiculous Spanish man.
FALSTAFF
What, is the old king dead?
FALSTAFF
What, is the old king dead?
PISTOL
As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
PISTOL
Dead as a doornail. I am telling you the truth.
FALSTAFF
Away, Bardolph.—Saddle my horse.—Master Robert Shallow,choose what office thou wilt in the land, ’tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
FALSTAFF
Get going, Bardolph—saddle up my horse ready to leave. Master Robert Shallow, choose whatever job you want to have in this country, and you can have it. Pistol, I will give you so many honors!
BARDOLPH
O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
BARDOLPH
Oh, what a happy day! I wouldn't even choose a knighthood over my new, good fortune!
PISTOL
What, I do bring good news!
PISTOL
See, didn't I tell you that I brought good news!
FALSTAFF
Carry Master Silence to bed.—Master Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt. I am Fortune’s steward. Get on thy boots. We’ll ride all night.—O sweet Pistol!—Away, Bardolph!
FALSTAFF
Put Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, or Lord Shallow—call yourself whatever you want. I am in charge of people's fortunes now! Put on your boots. It's time for us to go. We will ride all night. Oh, sweet Pistol! Let's go, Bardolph!
Exit BARDOLPH
Come, Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master Shallow. I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man’s horses. The laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my friends,and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!
Come, Pistol, tell me more about what has happened, and we will come up with something good for you. We need our boots, our boots, Master Shallow. I know the young King needs me. Let us take any horses—I now control all of the laws of England. Anyone who has been my friend is lucky, and you just be careful, my Lord Chief Justice!
PISTOL
Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also! “Where is the life that late I led?” say they. Why, here it is. Welcome these pleasant days.
PISTOL
Let vultures eat out his lungs as well! At some point, people have to say, "Where is the life that I used to lead?" Well, that moment is here for us—welcome to a happier time.
Exeunt