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The Merry Wives of Windsor

The Merry Wives of Windsor Translation Act 2, Scene 3

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Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY

DOCTOR CAIUS

Jack Rugby!

DOCTOR CAIUS

Jack Rugby!

RUGBY

Sir?

RUGBY

What is it, sir?

DOCTOR CAIUS

Vat is de clock, Jack?

DOCTOR CAIUS

What time is it, Jack?

RUGBY

'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.

RUGBY

It's past the time that Sir Hugh promised he would meet you, sir.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, he'll save his soul by not coming. His prayers will be answered if he doesn't come. By God, Jack Rugby, he would end up dead if he came.

RUGBY

He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would killhim, if he came.

RUGBY

He's smart, sir. He knows that you'd kill him if he came. 

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill killhim.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, he'd be more dead than a dead fish when I got through with him. Take your sword, Jack, I'll tell you how I'll kill him. 

RUGBY

Alas, sir, I cannot fence.

RUGBY

Unfortunately, sir, I can't sword-fight. 

DOCTOR CAIUS

Villany, take your rapier.

DOCTOR CAIUS

You lowlife, pick up your sword.

RUGBY

Forbear; here's company.

RUGBY

Cut it out, people are coming.

Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE

HOST

Bless thee, bully doctor!

HOST

God bless you, my jolly doctor!

SHALLOW

Save you, Master Doctor Caius!

SHALLOW

God bless you, Master Doctor Caius!

PAGE

Now, good master doctor!

PAGE

Now then, good Master Doctor!

SLENDER

Give you good morrow, sir.

SLENDER

I wish you a good day, sir.

DOCTOR CAIUS

Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

DOCTOR CAIUS

What have you four come for? 

HOST

To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully stale? is he dead?

HOST

We came to see you fight, to see you thrust your sword, to see you move forward and backward, to see you here, to see you over there, to see you thrust with your sword point, to see your thrust, your backhand hit, your skill at keeping the right distance from your opponent, your upward thrust with your sword. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Frenchman? Ha, my jolly fellow! What does the doctor say? The doctor with his weak heart? Ha! Is he dead, you fool? Is he dead?

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; heis not show his face.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, he's the most cowardly scoundrel of a priest in the world. He hasn't shown up.

HOST

Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!

HOST

You're a Spanish bottle of urine. You're a great warrior, my man! 

DOCTOR CAIUS

I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six orseven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

DOCTOR CAIUS

Please, bear witness to the fact that I have waited six or seven, two, three hours for him, and he hasn't come. 

SHALLOW

He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?

SHALLOW

He's wiser than you, master doctor. He cures souls, and you cure bodies. If you fought each other, you'd be acting contrary to your professions. Isn't that right, Master Page? 

PAGE

Master Shallow, you have yourself been a greatfighter, though now a man of peace.

PAGE

Master Shallow, you used to be a great fighter, even though you're a peaceful man now. 

SHALLOW

Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.

SHALLOW

By God, Master Page, even though I'm old and peaceful now, if I see someone take out a sword, I have a strong urge to join in the fight. Even though we are judges and doctors and priests, Master Page, we still have some energy left over from our youth. We're men, after all, Master Page.

PAGE

'Tis true, Master Shallow.

PAGE

That's true, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.

SHALLOW

You'll see it is true, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I've come to take you home. I've promised to keep the peace. You have shown that you are a wise doctor, and Sir Hugh has shown that he is a wise and calm priest. You must come with me, Master Doctor. 

HOST

Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.

HOST

Excuse me, Justice. I'd like to speak to you, Monsieur Mockwater.

DOCTOR CAIUS

Mock-vater! vat is dat?

DOCTOR CAIUS

Mockwater! What does that mean?

HOST

Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

HOST

Mockwater, in the English language, means bravery, my jolly fellow.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, then, I have as much mockwater as any Englishman does! That despicable low-bred priest! By God, I'll cut his ears. 

HOST

He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

HOST

He'll completely clapperclaw you, my jolly fellow.

DOCTOR CAIUS

Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?

DOCTOR CAIUS

Clapperclaw! What does that mean?

HOST

That is, he will make thee amends.

HOST

It means, he'll make up for everything he's done to you. 

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;for, by gar, me vill have it.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, I'll make sure he clapperclaws me, because I'll make him, by God.

HOST

And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.

HOST

And I'll get him to do it, or else I'll let him run away. 

DOCTOR CAIUS

Me tank you for dat.

DOCTOR CAIUS

I thank you for that. 

HOST

And, moreover, bully,—but first, master guest, andMaster Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go youthrough the town to Frogmore.

HOST

And what's more, my jolly fellow—but first, Master Guest, and Master Page, and also Soldier Slender, go through the town to the village of Frogmore.

Aside to them

PAGE

Sir Hugh is there, is he?

PAGE

Is Sir Hugh there?

HOST

He is there: see what humour he is in; and I willbring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

HOST

He is. Go see what kind of mood he's in, and I'll bring the Doctor there by taking the path around the fields. Will that work? 

SHALLOW

We will do it.

SHALLOW

We'll do it. 

SLENDER

Adieu, good master doctor.

SLENDER

Goodbye, good Master Doctor. 

Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for ajack-an-ape to Anne Page.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, I'm going to kill that priest for trying to intervene with Anne Page on behalf on a complete idiot. 

HOST

Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?

HOST

Let him die. Don't be so agitated, try to cool down your anger. Come walk around the fields with me through Frogmore. I'll take you to where Anne Page is attending a party at a farmhouse, and you can woo her. Am I on the right track? Is this a good idea?

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, thank you for this, by God, I love you. I'll get high-ranking people to come stay at your inn: an earl, a knight, lords, gentlemen, and my patients. 

HOST

For the which I will be thy adversary toward AnnePage. Said I well?

HOST

And for that, I'll oppose your attempts to win Anne Page. Does that sound good?

DOCTOR CAIUS

By gar, 'tis good; vell said.

DOCTOR CAIUS

By God, that's great, I like what you're saying.

HOST

Let us wag, then.

HOST

Let's go, then. 

DOCTOR CAIUS

Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

DOCTOR CAIUS

Follow me, Jack Rugby.

Exeunt

The merry wives of windsor
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Maria devlin
About the Translator: Maria Devlin

Maria Devlin received her Ph.D. in English Literature from Harvard University, where she specialized in Renaissance drama. She has worked as a bibliographical and editorial assistant for The Norton Anthology of English Literature and for The Norton Shakespeare. She is currently working with Stephen Greenblatt to design online courses on Shakespeare, including the modules "Hamlet's Ghost" and "Shylock's Bond" offered through HarvardX. She is writing a book on Renaissance comedy.

Maria Devlin wishes to credit the following sources, which she consulted extensively in composing her translations and annotations:

William Shakespeare. The New Oxford Shakespeare: Modern Critical Edition. Eds. Gary Taylor et al. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2016.

William Shakespeare. The Norton Shakespeare, 3rd ed. Eds. Stephen Greenblatt et al. New York: W.W. Norton& Company, Inc., 2016.