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Act 1, Scene 3
The Two Gentlemen of Verona Translation Act 2, Scene 1
Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
SPEED
Sir, your glove.
SPEED
Sir, your glove.
VALENTINE
Not mine; my gloves are on.
VALENTINE
That's not mine. My gloves are on.
SPEED
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
SPEED
Well, then, this one may be yours—because this is only one.
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VALENTINE
Ha! Let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine: Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
VALENTINE
Ha! Let me see! Yes, give it to me. It's mine. Sweet item of clothing that adorns a heavenly thing! Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
SPEED
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
SPEED
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
VALENTINE
How now, sirrah?
VALENTINE
What's that, sir?
SPEED
She is not within hearing, sir.
SPEED
She's not within earshot, sir.
VALENTINE
Why, sir, who bade you call her?
VALENTINE
Who asked you to call her, sir?
SPEED
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
SPEED
Your Worship, sir. Or else I misunderstood you.
VALENTINE
Well, you'll still be too forward.
VALENTINE
Well, you'll always be too hasty.
SPEED
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
SPEED
And yet, last time I was told off for being too slow.
VALENTINE
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
VALENTINE
Oh, that's enough, sir! Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
SPEED
She that your worship loves?
SPEED
Is that the lady whom your Worship loves?
VALENTINE
Why, how know you that I am in love?
VALENTINE
Oh, but how do you know that I'm in love?
SPEED
Marry, by these special marks: first, you havelearned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like arobin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master .
SPEED
By these particular signs: first, you have learned—like Sir Proteus—to fold your arms like a discontented person; to enjoy a love song, like a robin; to walk alone, like someone that has the plague; to sigh, like a school boy that has forgotten the alphabet; to cry, like a young girl that buried her grandmother; to fast, like someone on a diet; to remain awake, as if worried about being robbed; to whine like a beggar on All Saints' Day. Before you fell in love, when you laughed, you crowed like a rooster; when you walked, you walked like a lion; and when you didn't eat, it was because you'd just finished your dinner; when you looked sad, it was because you didn't have money. And now you've changed so much because of your mistress, that, when I look at you, I can hardly think that you are my master.
VALENTINE
Are all these things perceived in me?
VALENTINE
Can you spot all these changes in me?
SPEED
They are all perceived without ye.
SPEED
They are easy to see all around you.
VALENTINE
Without me? They cannot.
VALENTINE
They're visible all around me? They can't be.
SPEED
Without you? Nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
SPEED
All around you? Yes, for sure, because if you could simply hide the signs of love, nobody would perceive them. But you are so madly in love, inside and out, that all of the symptoms of love shine through you like urine in a doctor's test cup, and anyone who just looks at you can diagnose your illness as if they were a physician.
VALENTINE
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
VALENTINE
Tell me, though: do you know my lady Silvia?
SPEED
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
SPEED
Is she the one that you stare at when she is having dinner?
VALENTINE
Hast thou observed that? Even she, I mean.
VALENTINE
Have you noticed that? I mean, yes, that's her.
SPEED
Why, sir, I know her not.
SPEED
Well, sir, I don't know her.
VALENTINE
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yetknowest her not?
VALENTINE
So, you know her by my staring at her—and yet you don't know her?
SPEED
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
SPEED
Isn't she ugly, sir?
VALENTINE
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
VALENTINE
Not so beautiful, boy, as she is attractive.
SPEED
Sir, I know that well enough.
SPEED
Sir, I know that.
VALENTINE
What dost thou know?
VALENTINE
What do you know?
SPEED
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
SPEED
That she isn't so much beautiful as preferred by you.
VALENTINE
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
VALENTINE
I mean that her beauty is rare, but her charm is never-ending.
SPEED
That's because the one is painted and the other outof all count.
SPEED
That's because the one is artificial, and the other is beyond calculation.
VALENTINE
How painted? And how out of count?
VALENTINE
What do you mean, "artificial?" And how is it "beyond calculation?"
SPEED
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that noman counts of her beauty.
SPEED
Well, sir, she's so artificial, to make herself beautiful, that no man values her beauty.
VALENTINE
How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
VALENTINE
Do you think nothing of my judgment, then? I value her beauty.
SPEED
You never saw her since she was deformed.
SPEED
You haven't seen her since she was disfigured.
VALENTINE
How long hath she been deformed?
VALENTINE
How long has she been disfigured?
SPEED
Ever since you loved her.
SPEED
Ever since you fell in love with her.
VALENTINE
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still Isee her beautiful.
VALENTINE
I have loved her ever since I saw her. And she is still beautiful in my eyes.
SPEED
If you love her, you cannot see her.
SPEED
You can't see her if you love her.
VALENTINE
Why?
VALENTINE
Why?
SPEED
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
SPEED
Because Love is blind. Oh, if only you had my eyes! Or if your own eyes had the clear-sighted ability they used to have when you told Sir Proteus off for being disheveled!
VALENTINE
What should I see then?
VALENTINE
What would I see then?
SPEED
Your own present folly and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on yourhose.
SPEED
Your own foolishness and her extreme deformity. Because Proteus—who is in love—at least made himself presentable by putting on his pants properly. And you—also blindly in love—can't even do that.
VALENTINE
Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for lastmorning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
VALENTINE
In that case, boy, you are in love. Because yesterday morning, you couldn't see well enough to clean my shoes.
SPEED
T rue, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
SPEED
That's true, sir. I was in love with my bed. Thank you for beating me for my love. It makes me braver to tell you off for yours.
VALENTINE
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
VALENTINE
To sum it up, I am in love with her.
SPEED
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
SPEED
I wish you were calm, so that your affection would stop.
VALENTINE
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines toone she loves.
VALENTINE
Last night she told me to write some lines to someone she loves.
SPEED
And have you?
SPEED
And have you?
VALENTINE
I have.
VALENTINE
I have.
SPEED
Are they not lamely writ?
SPEED
Are they not written badly?
VALENTINE
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!Here she comes.
VALENTINE
No, boy, I wrote them as well as I could. Be quiet! Here she is.
SPEED
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!Now will he interpret to her.
SPEED
[To himself] Oh, that's a great puppet-show! Oh, that's a great puppet! Now he will provide the words for the puppet.
Enter SILVIA
VALENTINE
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
VALENTINE
Madam, beloved, I wish you a thousand good mornings.
SPEED
[Aside] O, give ye good even! Here's a million of manners.
SPEED
[To himself] Oh, good grief! This is a very excessive display of manners.
SILVIA
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
SILVIA
Sir Valentine, lover, I wish you two thousand.
SPEED
[Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him.
SPEED
[To himself] He should show his interest in her, but she pays him interest instead by offering him twice as many good mornings.
VALENTINE
As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship.
VALENTINE
As you have instructed, I have written your letter to your secret, unnamed lover. I didn't want to do it, but I did it because of my duty to you.
SILVIA
I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.
SILVIA
Thank you, kind servant. You've done it very scholarly.
VALENTINE
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For being ignorant to whom it goes I writ at random, very doubtfully.
VALENTINE
Trust me, madam, it was difficult to do. Since I didn't know who it was meant for, I wrote randomly and with much hesitation.
SILVIA
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
SILVIA
Perhaps you think it's not worth making so much effort?
VALENTINE
No, madam; so it stead you, I will writePlease you command, a thousand times as much; And yet—
VALENTINE
No, madam. As long as it is helpful to you, I will write. Order me to write a thousand times as much. And yet—
SILVIA
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not; And yet take this again; and yet I thank you, Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
SILVIA
A clever pause! Well, I guess what follows. And yet I won't say it. And yet I don't care. And yet take this again. And yet I thank you. I don't mean to trouble you any longer.
SPEED
[Aside] And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
SPEED
[To himself] And yet you will. And yet another "yet."
VALENTINE
What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
VALENTINE
What do you mean, your Ladyship? Don't you like the letter?
SILVIA
Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ; But since unwillingly, take them again. Nay, take them.
SILVIA
Yes, yes, the lines are written very skillfully. But since they are written unwillingly, take them back. No, take them.
VALENTINE
Madam, they are for you.
VALENTINE
They are for you, madam.
SILVIA
Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you; I would have had them writ more movingly.
SILVIA
Yes, yes, you wrote them, sir, because I asked you to. But I don't want them. They are for you. I would have had them written with more emotion.
VALENTINE
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
VALENTINE
If you'd like, I can write your Ladyship another one.
SILVIA
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
SILVIA
And when it's written, read it over for my sake. And if you're happy with it, so be it; if not, well, so be it.
VALENTINE
If it please me, madam, what then?
VALENTINE
Madam, if I'm happy with it, then what?
SILVIA
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:And so, good morrow, servant.
SILVIA
Well, if you're happy with it, take it as a payment for your efforts. And so, good day, servant.
Exit
SPEED
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple! My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better, That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
SPEED
Oh, an unseen, mysterious, invisible joke! It's like the nose on your face; or a weathervane on top of a spire! My master courts her, and she taught her suitor. He is her student in order to become her teacher. Oh, that's a genius scheme! Has anyone heard of a better one, than that my master—who is the writer— should write the letter to himself?
VALENTINE
How now, sir? What are you reasoning with yourself?
VALENTINE
What's that, sir? What is it you're talking to yourself about?
SPEED
Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
SPEED
No, I was rhyming. You are the one who has a reason.
VALENTINE
To do what?
VALENTINE
To do what?
SPEED
To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.
SPEED
To speak for Madam Silvia.
VALENTINE
To whom?
VALENTINE
To whom?
SPEED
To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
SPEED
To yourself! She courts you by an ingenious device.
VALENTINE
What figure?
VALENTINE
What device?
SPEED
By a letter, I should say.
SPEED
The letter!
VALENTINE
Why, she hath not writ to me?
VALENTINE
But she didn't write it to me.
SPEED
What need she, when she hath made you write toyourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
SPEED
Why would she need to, when she has already made you write it to yourself? Don't you get the joke?
VALENTINE
No, believe me.
VALENTINE
No, believe me.
SPEED
No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceiveher earnest?
SPEED
I don't believe it, that's for sure, sir. But did you really think she was serious?
VALENTINE
She gave me none, except an angry word.
VALENTINE
She gave me nothing except for an angry word.
SPEED
Why, she hath given you a letter.
SPEED
She gave you a letter.
VALENTINE
That's the letter I writ to her friend.
VALENTINE
That's the letter I wrote for her lover.
SPEED
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
SPEED
And she has delivered the letter. And there's the end to the matter.
VALENTINE
I would it were no worse.
VALENTINE
I wish it weren't so bad.
SPEED
I'll warrant you, 'tis as well: For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply; Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover. All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? 'Tis dinner-time.
SPEED
I assure you, it's all good. You have written to her a lot, and she couldn't reply because of her modesty, or because she doesn't have enough down-time. Or she was afraid that some messenger might find out what she thinks. So she has taught her love to write a letter to her lover. I am speaking very precisely about all of this—exactly as I see it. Why are you lost in thought, sir? It's time for dinner.
VALENTINE
I have dined.
VALENTINE
I've already dined on beauty.
SPEED
Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.
SPEED
Yes, but listen, sir. Although Love is changeable like the chameleon, and can feed on air, I can only feed on food and would like to have meat. Oh, don't be like your mistress. Be persuaded, be persuaded.
Exeunt
