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Act 2, Scene 4
The Two Gentlemen of Verona Translation Act 2, Scene 5
Enter SPEED and LANCE severally
SPEED
Lance! By mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
SPEED
Lance! I swear by my honesty: welcome to Milan!
LANCE
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say 'Welcome!'
LANCE
Don't swear falsely by that, sweet boy, because I am not welcome. I think it's always the case that a man is never ruined until he is hanged. In the same way, a man is never welcomed in a place until some bill is paid and the landlady of an inn says: "Welcome!"
SPEED
Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?
SPEED
Come on, you madman. I'll go to the bar with you immediately. You shall have five thousand welcomes for one payment of five pence. But, sir, how did your master say goodbye to Lady Julia?
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LANCE
Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted veryfairly in jest.
LANCE
Indeed, after they genuinely hugged each other, they said goodbye cordially, as a bit of a joke.
SPEED
But shall she marry him?
SPEED
But will she marry him?
LANCE
No.
LANCE
No.
SPEED
How then? Shall he marry her?
SPEED
Then what? Will he marry her?
LANCE
No, neither.
LANCE
No, not that either.
SPEED
What, are they broken?
SPEED
What, have they broken up?
LANCE
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
LANCE
No, they are together; as whole as a fish.
SPEED
Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
SPEED
Well then, what's the problem that caused their falling out?
LANCE
Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, itstands well with her.
LANCE
Indeed, this is the problem: when things are going well for him, then she is well.
SPEED
What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
SPEED
You are such an idiot! I don't understand you.
LANCE
What a block art thou, that thou canst not! Mystaff understands me.
LANCE
You are such a blockhead that you can't understand me! My staff understands me.
SPEED
What thou sayest?
SPEED
What do you say?
LANCE
Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,and my staff understands me.
LANCE
Yes, and I do too. Look! I'll lean and my staff understands me.
SPEED
It stands under thee, indeed.
SPEED
It stands under you, yes.
LANCE
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
LANCE
Well, stand-under and under-stand is the same thing.
SPEED
But tell me true, will't be a match?
SPEED
But tell me truth: will there be a wedding?
LANCE
Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! If he say no,it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
LANCE
Ask my dog; if he says yes, it will. If he says no, it will. If he shakes his tail and says nothing, it will.
SPEED
The conclusion is then that it will.
SPEED
So then it will!
LANCE
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
LANCe
You will never get such a secret from me apart from using cryptic and confusing speech.
SPEED
'Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayestthou, that my master is become a notable lover?
SPEED
It's good that I get it now. Lance, what do you say to this? My master has become a notorious lover!
LAnce
I never knew him otherwise.
LANCE
I never knew him as anything else.
SPEED
Than how?
SPEED
Anything else than what?
LANCE
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
LANCE
A notorious lubber—a clumsy fool, as you have just said he is.
SPEED
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
SPEED
Ah, you bastard ass, you aren't understanding me!
LANCE
Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
LANCE
You fool, I didn't mean you. I meant your master!
SPEED
I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
SPEED
I am telling you that my master has become a passionate lover.
LANCE
Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
LANCE
I am telling you that I don't care if he burns himself in love. If you want to, come with me to the pub. If not, you are a Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
SPEED
Why?
SPEED
Why?
LANCE
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as togo to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
LANCE
Because you don't have enough charity in you to go to the pub with a Christian. Will you go?
SPEED
At thy service.
SPEED
I'm at your service.
Exeunt
