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The Two Gentlemen of Verona

The Two Gentlemen of Verona Translation Act 2, Scene 5

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Enter SPEED and LANCE severally

SPEED

Lance! By mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

SPEED

Lance! I swear by my honesty: welcome to Milan!

LANCE

Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say 'Welcome!'

LANCE

Don't swear falsely by that, sweet boy, because I am not welcome. I think it's always the case that a man is never ruined until he is hanged. In the same way, a man is never welcomed in a place until some bill is paid and the landlady of an inn says: "Welcome!"

SPEED

Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?

SPEED

Come on, you madman. I'll go to the bar with you immediately. You shall have five thousand welcomes for one payment of five pence. But, sir, how did your master say goodbye to Lady Julia?

LANCE

Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted veryfairly in jest.

LANCE

Indeed, after they genuinely hugged each other, they said goodbye cordially, as a bit of a joke.

SPEED

But shall she marry him?

SPEED

But will she marry him?

LANCE

No.

LANCE

No.

SPEED

How then? Shall he marry her?

SPEED

Then what? Will he marry her?

LANCE

No, neither.

LANCE

No, not that either.

SPEED

What, are they broken?

SPEED

What, have they broken up?

LANCE

No, they are both as whole as a fish.

LANCE

No, they are together; as whole as a fish.

SPEED

Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

SPEED

Well then, what's the problem that caused their falling out?

LANCE

Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, itstands well with her.

LANCE

Indeed, this is the problem: when things are going well for him, then she is well.

SPEED

What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

SPEED

You are such an idiot! I don't understand you.

LANCE

What a block art thou, that thou canst not! Mystaff understands me.

LANCE

You are such a blockhead that you can't understand me! My staff understands me.

SPEED

What thou sayest?

SPEED

What do you say?

LANCE

Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,and my staff understands me.

LANCE

Yes, and I do too. Look! I'll lean and my staff understands me. 

SPEED

It stands under thee, indeed.

SPEED

It stands under you, yes.

LANCE

Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

LANCE

Well, stand-under and under-stand is the same thing.

SPEED

But tell me true, will't be a match?

SPEED

But tell me truth: will there be a wedding?

LANCE

Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! If he say no,it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

LANCE

Ask my dog; if he says yes, it will. If he says no, it will. If he shakes his tail and says nothing, it will.

SPEED

The conclusion is then that it will.

SPEED

So then it will!

LANCE

Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

LANCe

You will never get such a secret from me apart from using cryptic and confusing speech.

SPEED

'Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayestthou, that my master is become a notable lover?

SPEED

It's good that I get it now. Lance, what do you say to this? My master has become a notorious lover!

LAnce

I never knew him otherwise.

LANCE

I never knew him as anything else. 

SPEED

Than how?

SPEED

Anything else than what?

LANCE

A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

LANCE

A notorious lubber—a clumsy fool, as you have just said he is.

SPEED

Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.

SPEED

Ah, you bastard ass, you aren't understanding me!

LANCE

Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

LANCE

You fool, I didn't mean you. I meant your master!

SPEED

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

SPEED

I am telling you that my master has become a passionate lover.

LANCE

Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

LANCE

I am telling you that I don't care if he burns himself in love. If you want to, come with me to the pub. If not, you are a Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

SPEED

Why?

SPEED

Why?

LANCE

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as togo to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

LANCE

Because you don't have enough charity in you to go to the pub with a Christian. Will you go?

SPEED

At thy service.

SPEED

I'm at your service. 

Exeunt

The two gentlemen of verona
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Nina romancikova
About the Translator: Nina Romancikova

Nina Romancikova is from Slovakia but her love of literature and theater has brought her to the UK and she has been living and studying there for the past six years. She graduated with a degree in English Literature and Language at University of Glasgow in 2016. Nina is now finishing her Masters in Shakespeare Studies at King's College London and is currently working as a Research Intern at Shakespeare's Globe.