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Twelfth Night

Twelfth Night Translation Act 1, Scene 5

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Enter MARIA and the FOOL

MARIA

Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will notopen my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy absence.

MARIA

No, either tell me where you've been, or I won't say a word in your defense. My lady Olivia will have you hanged for being absent.

FOOL

Let her hang me. He that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colors.

FOOL

Let her hang me then. A well-hanged (and well-hung) man doesn't need to be afraid of anything he sees.

MARIA

Make that good.

MARIA

Explain—and clean up your language.

FOOL

He shall see none to fear.

FOOL

He'll be dead, and so he won't see anything to be afraid of.

MARIA

A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that sayingwas born, of “I fear no colors.”

MARIA

That's a meager answer. And I can tell you where you got that saying about not being afraid of anything.

FOOL

Where, good Mistress Mary?

FOOL

Where, good Mistress Mary?

MARIA

In the wars. And that may you be bold to say in your foolery.

MARIA

From soldiers at war. And it's bold of you to talk like a soldier, when you're only a fool.

FOOL

Well, God give them wisdom that have it. And those thatare fools, let them use their talents.

FOOL

Well, let God give wisdom to those who have it. Everyone has their talents, and for those of us who are fools, let us use our gifts.

MARIA

Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent. Or tobe turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?

MARIA

But you'll still be hanged for being gone so long. Or at least fired and kicked out, and wouldn't that be just as bad for you?

FOOL

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage, and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.

FOOL

Sometimes getting hanged saves a man from getting into a bad marriage, and as for getting kicked out, it's summer, so being homeless won't be so bad.

MARIA

You are resolute, then?

MARIA

You are firm in your resolve, then?

FOOL

Not so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.

FOOL

No, but I am resolved on two points.

MARIA

That if one break, the other will hold. Or, if both break, your gaskins fall.

MARIA

Yes—the two points where your suspenders are buttoned on. If one breaks, the other will hold. But if both break, your pants will fall.

FOOL

Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way. If Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece ofEve’s flesh as any in Illyria.

FOOL

Very clever, really, very clever. Well, go along now. If only Sir Toby would stop drinking, you'd be a woman who was as funny as any person in Illyria.

MARIA

Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my lady.Make your excuse wisely, you were best.

MARIA

Quiet, you villain, no more of that. Here comes my lady. It would be best for you if you came up with a good excuse for being gone so long.

Exit

FOOL

[aside] Wit, an ’t be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools. And I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus? “Better awitty fool, than a foolish wit.”

FOOL

[To himself] Come on, wit, give me something good to say now! Those people who think they're witty often prove to be fools. And I'm sure that I'm not witty, so I might pass for a wise man. For what did the philosopher Quinapalus say? "Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit."

Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO with attendants

God bless thee, lady!

God's greetings to you, my lady!

OLIVIA

Take the fool away.

OLIVIA

Take the fool away.

FOOL

Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.

FOOL

Didn't you hear her, fellows? Take the lady away.

OLIVIA

Go to, you’re a dry fool. I’ll no more of you. Besides, you grow dishonest.

OLIVIA

That's enough—you're a dull, dry fool. I'm tired of you. Besides, you're getting unreliable.

FOOL

Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend. For give the dry fool drink, then is the fool notdry. Bid the dishonest man mend himself. If he mend, heis no longer dishonest. If he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything that’s mended is but patched. Virtue that transgresses is but patched with sin, and sin that amends is but patched with virtue. If that this simple syllogism will serve, so. If it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty’s a flower. The lady bade take away the fool. Therefore, I say again, take her away.

FOOL

My holy lady, these are two flaws that some alcohol and good advice will fix. If you give the dry fool a drink, then the fool won't be dry anymore. And if you give the unreliable man some good advice, then he can mend his ways and won't be unreliable anymore. And if he can't mend his ways, then let the tailor mend him. Anything that's mended is only patched up. A virtuous man who does something wrong is only patched with sin, and a sinner who mends his ways is only patched with virtue. If this logical argument will convince you, then good. But if not, what can be done? The only truly betrayed husband is one deserted by luck, and beauty is a lucky flower—so you won't remain alone for long, my lady. But you gave orders to take away the fool. So I tell you all again, take the lady away.

OLIVIA

Sir, I bade them take away you.

OLIVIA

Sir, I told them to take you away.

FOOL

Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum— that’s as much to say as I wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to proveyou a fool.

FOOL

An error of the worst kind! Lady, don't judge a book by its cover—that's to say that I wear jester's clothes on the outside, but my brain is still sharp. My holy lady, let me prove that you're a fool.

OLIVIA

Can you do it?

OLIVIA

Can you do it?

FOOL

Dexterously, good madonna.

FOOL

Easily, my good lady.

OLIVIA

Make your proof.

OLIVIA

Then prove it.

FOOL

I must catechise you for it, madonna. Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.

FOOL

I must ask you some questions then, my holy lady. Please answer them, my virtuous little mouse.

OLIVIA

Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I’ll bide your proof.

OLIVIA

Well, sir, I have nothing better to do, so I'll go along with this.

FOOL

Good madonna, why mournest thou?

FOOL

Dear lady, why are you in mourning?

OLIVIA

Good fool, for my brother’s death.

OLIVIA

Dear fool, because of my brother's death.

FOOL

I think his soul is in hell, madonna.

FOOL

I think his soul is in hell, lady.

OLIVIA

I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

OLIVIA

I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

FOOL

The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother’s soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.

FOOL

Then you're a fool, holy lady, to mourn your brother's soul being in heaven. Now take away the fool, gentlemen.

OLIVIA

What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?

OLIVIA

What do you think of this fool, Malvolio? Hasn't he gotten better?

MALVOLIO

Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.

MALVOLIO

Yes, and he will until the day he dies. Old age and senility hurt wise people, but improve fools.

FOOL

God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for two pence thatyou are no fool.

FOOL

Then may God send you old age and senility, that you might become a better fool! Sir Toby would bet a fortune that I'm not a clever man, but he wouldn't bet two cents that you're not a fool.

OLIVIA

How say you to that, Malvolio?

OLIVIA

What do you say to that, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he’s out of his guard already. Unless you laughand minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest Itake these wise men that crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools' zanies.

MALVOLIO

I'm surprised that your ladyship enjoys the company of such an empty-headed villain. The other day I saw him lose a battle of wits to an ordinary idiot who had no more brains than a stone. Look at him now, he's without a witty retort already. Unless you laugh and give him an opportunity, he can't think of a thing to say. I declare that the so-called wise men who laugh so hard at these jesters' well-rehearsed routines are no better than jesters' assistants themselves.

OLIVIA

Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste witha distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail. Nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.

OLIVIA

Oh, you're sick with vanity, Malvolio, and it affects your good taste. If you were generous, innocent, and friendly, then you wouldn't make such mountains out of mole-hills. There's no real harm in a professional fool, even if he does nothing but mock people. In the same way there's no real mockery in a wise man, even if he does nothing but criticize people.

FOOL

Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of fools!

FOOL

May Mercury—that god of deception—make you a skilled liar, to reward you for speaking so highly of fools!

Enter MARIA

MARIA

Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you.

MARIA

Madam, there's a young gentleman at the gate who greatly desires to speak with you.

OLIVIA

From the Count Orsino, is it?

OLIVIA

Is he sent from Duke Orsino?

MARIA

I know not, madam. 'Tis a fair young man, and well attended.

MARIA

I don't know, madam. He's a good-looking young man, and has some attendants with him.

OLIVIA

Who of my people hold him in delay?

OLIVIA

Which of my people is delaying him right now?

MARIA

Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.

MARIA

Sir Toby, madam, your uncle.

OLIVIA

Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman.Fie on him!

OLIVIA

Send Sir Toby away, please. He talks like a madman. Shame on him!

Exit MARIA

Go you, Malvolio. If it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or not at home. What you will, to dismiss it.

You go, Malvolio. If this visitor is a messenger from the duke, then tell him that I'm sick, or not at home. Do whatever you have to to make him go away.

Exit MALVOLIO

Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it.

Now you see, sir, how your jokes grow stale, and people dislike them.

FOOL

Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool, whose skull Jove cram with brains, for—here he comes—one of thy kin has a most weak pia mater.

FOOL

Holy lady, you've spoken so highly of us fools—it's almost as if your eldest son was going to be a fool. And may God cram his skull with brains, for here comes one of your relatives whose head is quite empty.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH

OLIVIA

By mine honor, half-drunk. What is he at the gate, cousin?

OLIVIA

I swear, he's half-drunk. Who is that at the gate, uncle?

SIR TOBY BELCH

A gentleman.

SIR TOBY BELCH

A gentleman.

OLIVIA

A gentleman? What gentleman?

OLIVIA

A gentleman? What gentleman?

SIR TOBY BELCH

'Tis a gentleman here— a plague o' these pickle herring! How now, sot!

SIR TOBY BELCH

There's a gentleman here—[hiccoughs] Damn those pickled herring! They upset my stomach. How's it going, you drunken fool?

FOOL

Good Sir Toby!

FOOL

Good Sir Toby!

OLIVIA

Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by this lethargy?

OLIVIA

Uncle, uncle, it's so early in the day—how are you already so sick?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Lechery! I defy lechery. There’s one at the gate.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Tricks? I hate tricks. There's a man at the gate.

OLIVIA

Ay, marry, what is he?

OLIVIA

Yes, I heard, but who is he?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not. Give me faith, say I. Well, it’s all one.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Let him be the devil if he wants to be, I don't care. God will give me the faith to resist him. It doesn't matter to me.

Exit

OLIVIA

What’s a drunken man like, fool?

OLIVIA

Tell me what a drunk man is like, fool.

FOOL

Like a drowned man, a fool and a madman. One draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.

FOOL

He's like a drowned man, a fool, and a madman. The first drink makes him a fool, the second makes him a madman, and the third drowns him.

OLIVIA

Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit o' my coz. For he’s in the third degree of drink, he’s drowned. Go look after him.

OLIVIA

Go and find the coroner then, and let him investigate my uncle—for he's in the third degree of drunkenness, and has drowned. Go look after him.

FOOL

He is but mad yet, madonna, and the fool shall look to the madman.

FOOL

He's still only in the second degree, my lady, so the fool will take care of the madman.

Exit

Enter MALVOLIO

MALVOLIO

Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you.I told him you were sick. He takes on him to understandso much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep. He seems to have a foreknowledge ofthat too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? He’s fortified against any denial.

MALVOLIO

Madam, that young fellow out there swears that he must speak with you no matter what. I told him you were sick. He claims to know that already, and says that that's why he came to speak with you. I told him you were asleep. He claims to know that already too, and said that that's why he came to speak with you. What should I say to him, lady? He's too strong for all my excuses.

OLIVIA

Tell him he shall not speak with me.

OLIVIA

Just tell him that he won't speak with me.

MALVOLIO

He's been told so, and he says he’ll stand at your door like a sheriff’s post, and be the supporter to a bench, but he’ll speak with you.

MALVOLIO

I told him that already, but he says he'll stand at your door like a signpost or the leg of a bench until he is allowed to speak with you.

OLIVIA

What kind o' man is he?

OLIVIA

What kind of man is he?

MALVOLIO

Why, of mankind.

MALVOLIO

Why, part of mankind.

OLIVIA

What manner of man?

OLIVIA

But what is his manner?

MALVOLIO

Of very ill manner. He’ll speak with you, will you or no.

MALVOLIO

He has very bad manners. He says he'll speak to you whether you like it or not.

OLIVIA

Of what personage and years is he?

OLIVIA

But what does he look like, and how old is he?

MALVOLIO

Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy, as a squash is before ’tis a peascod, or a codling when ’tis almost an apple. 'Tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well-favored, andhe speaks very shrewishly. One would think his mother’smilk were scarce out of him.

MALVOLIO

He's not yet old enough to be a man, but not young enough to be a boy either. He's like a pea pod or an apple just before it's ripe. He's like a slack tide, caught between coming in and going out—between boyhood and manhood. He's very good-looking, but he's nagging. It seems like he's just barely stopped breastfeeding.

OLIVIA

Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.

OLIVIA

Let him enter. Call in my lady-in-waiting.

MALVOLIO

Gentlewoman, my lady calls.

MALVOLIO

Gentlewoman, my lady calls for you.

Exit

Enter MARIA

OLIVIA

Give me my veil. Come, throw it o'er my face. [OLIVIA puts on a veil] We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy.

OLIVIA

Give me my veil. Come, throw it over my face. [OLIVIA puts on a veil] Let's hear Orsino's offer once more.

Enter VIOLA, with attendants

VIOLA

The honorable lady of the house, which is she?

VIOLA

Which of you is the honorable lady of the house?

OLIVIA

Speak to me. I shall answer for her. Your will?

OLIVIA

Speak to me—I'll answer for her. What do you want?

VIOLA

Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn. I am very comptible, even to the leastsinister usage.

VIOLA

Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty—but please, tell me if you're really the lady of the house, for I've never actually seen her. I would hate to throw away my speech on the wrong person, for it is excellently written and was very hard for me to memorize. Good beauties, please don't scorn me. I'm very sensitive, even to the slightest bit of rudeness.

OLIVIA

Whence came you, sir?

OLIVIA

Where do you come from, sir?

VIOLA

I can say little more than I have studied, and that question’s out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that Imay proceed in my speech.

VIOLA

I can only repeat what I've memorized, and that question isn't part of my lines. Please, gentle lady, just assure me that you are the lady of the house, so I can go on with my speech.

OLIVIA

Are you a comedian?

OLIVIA

Are you an actor?

VIOLA

No, my profound heart. And yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?

VIOLA

No, my dear lady. But I also swear that I'm not the same person as the part I'm playing. Are you the lady of the house?

OLIVIA

If I do not usurp myself, I am.

OLIVIA

If I haven't stolen this role from myself, then I am.

VIOLA

Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. Butthis is from my commission. I will on with my speech inyour praise and then show you the heart of my message.

VIOLA

If you are the lady of the house, then you certainly have stolen from yourself, because what's yours to give away is not yours to keep for yourself. But this isn't what I was sent to say. I'll go on with my speech praising you, and then I'll get to the heart of my message.

OLIVIA

Come to what is important in ’t. I forgive you the praise.

OLIVIA

Just tell me the important part. I'll excuse you for skipping the praise.

VIOLA

Alas, I took great pains to study it, and ’tis poetical.

VIOLA

Oh, but I worked so hard memorizing it, and it's poetic.

OLIVIA

It is the more like to be feigned. I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. 'Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.

OLIVIA

Then it's more likely to be fake. Please, keep it to yourself. I heard you were rude at my gates, and I let you in because I was curious about you, not to hear your message. If you're not crazy, then go. If you're sane, be quick. I am not in the mood for lively conversation.

MARIA

Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.

MARIA

Will you set sail and leave now, sir? Here's the door.

VIOLA

No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady.

VIOLA

No, good sailor, I'll dock here a little longer. My lady, would you call off your giant here?

OLIVIA

Tell me your mind.

OLIVIA

Tell me what you want.

VIOLA

I am a messenger.

VIOLA

I am a messenger.

OLIVIA

Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when thecourtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.

OLIVIA

Then you must have a horrible message to deliver, since you're so afraid to get to the point. Speak your business.

VIOLA

It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war,no taxation of homage. I hold the olive in my hand . My words are as full of peace as matter.

VIOLA

It only concerns you. I'm not bringing a declaration of war or a demand for praise. I'm only bringing you an olive branch. My words are full of peace.

OLIVIA

Yet you began rudely. What are you? What would you?

OLIVIA

Yet you began rudely. Who are you? What do you want?

VIOLA

The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my entertainment. What I am and what I would are assecret as maidenhead. To your ears, divinity. To any other’s, profanation.

VIOLA

I only learned my rudeness from the way I was received here. Who I am and what I want are as secret as a girl's virginity. I have a holy message for your ears only. It would be blasphemy for anyone else to hear it.

OLIVIA

Give us the place alone. We will hear this divinity.

OLIVIA

Everyone, leave us alone. I will hear this "holy message."

Exeunt MARIA and attendants

Now, sir, what is your text?

Now, sir, what is your sacred text?

VIOLA

Most sweet lady—

VIOLA

Most sweet lady—

OLIVIA

A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it. Where lies your text?

OLIVIA

This sounds like a comforting doctrine of faith, one that deserves to be spoken of. Where is the sacred text your "holy message" comes from?

VIOLA

In Orsino’s bosom.

VIOLA

In Orsino's heart.

OLIVIA

In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?

OLIVIA

In his heart? In what chapter and verse of his heart?

VIOLA

To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.

VIOLA

To continue this metaphor—in the first chapter of his heart.

OLIVIA

Oh, I have read it. It is heresy. Have you no more to say?

OLIVIA

Oh, I have read that. It's not a holy message, it's heresy. Do you have anything more to say?

VIOLA

Good madam, let me see your face.

VIOLA

Good madam, let me see your face.

OLIVIA

Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text. But we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this present. Is ’t not well done?

OLIVIA

Did your lord order you to negotiate with my face? You've gone off your script now.  But I'll draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look, sir, this is a portrait of me in this present moment. Isn't it well done?

OLIVIA removes her veil

VIOLA

Excellently done, if God did all.

VIOLA

It's excellently done, if that's the way God made it.

OLIVIA

'Tis in grain, sir. 'Twill endure wind and weather.

OLIVIA

It's natural, sir. Wind and rain won't wash it off.

VIOLA

'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white Nature’s own sweet and cunning hand laid on. Lady, you are the cruel’st she alive If you will lead these graces to the grave And leave the world no copy.

VIOLA

It's truly beautiful—your red lips and white skin painted by Nature's sweet and skillful hand. My lady, you are the cruelest woman alive if you'll let your beauty go with you to the grave, instead of having children and passing it on.

OLIVIA

O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted. I will give out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labeled to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?

OLIVIA

Oh, sir, I won't be so cruel. I'll give out lists of my beauty. I'll make a detailed inventory, with every part labeled and added to my will. For example—item: two lips, moderately red. Item: two grey eyes, with lids attached. Item: one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you only sent here to praise my beauty?

VIOLA

I see you what you are, you are too proud. But, if you were the devil, you are fair. My lord and master loves you. Oh, such love Could be but recompensed though you were crowned The nonpareil of beauty.

VIOLA

I see what you are—you're too proud. But even if you were the devil, you'd still be beautiful. My lord and master loves you. Such love as his couldn't be repaid even if you were crowned the most beautiful woman in the world.

OLIVIA

How does he love me?

OLIVIA

How does he love me?

VIOLA

With adorations, fertile tears, With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.

VIOLA

With adoration, with abundant tears, with thunderous groans, with passionate sighs.

OLIVIA

Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him. Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth. In voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant; And in dimension and the shape of nature A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him; He might have took his answer long ago.

OLIVIA

Your lord knows my mind. I cannot love him. I'm sure he is a virtuous man, and I know he's noble, rich, and young. Public opinion reports that he is generous, smart, and brave, both gracious in his manner and good-looking. But despite all that, I cannot love him. He should have accepted my answer long ago.

VIOLA

If I did love you in my master’s flame, With such a suffering, such a deadly life, In your denial I would find no sense; I would not understand it.

VIOLA

If I loved you with my master's passion—with such suffering and a life that is like death—your rejection would make no sense to me. I would not understand it.

OLIVIA

Why, what would you?

OLIVIA

Well, what would you do if you were your master?

VIOLA

Make me a willow cabin at your gate And call upon my soul within the house. Write loyal cantons of contemned love And sing them loud even in the dead of night. Halloo your name to the reverberate hills And make the babbling gossip of the air Cry out “Olivia!” Oh, you should not rest Between the elements of air and earth, But you should pity me.

VIOLA

I would build a little cabin outside your gates, and from there I'd call out to you, my soul, in your house. I would write loyal songs about unrequited love and sing them loudly even in the dead of night. I would shout your name to the hills and make their echoes cry out "Olivia!" Oh, you wouldn't be able to go anywhere under the sun without pitying me.

OLIVIA

You might do much.What is your parentage?

OLIVIA

There's a lot you would do. What rank are your parents?

VIOLA

Above my fortunes, yet my state is well.I am a gentleman.

VIOLA

I was born to a higher rank than I have now, but I'm still well-off. I am a gentleman.

OLIVIA

Get you to your lord. I cannot love him. Let him send no more— Unless perchance you come to me again To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well. I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.

OLIVIA

Go back to your lord. I cannot love him. Tell him not to send any more messengers—unless, perhaps, you were to return and tell me how he takes my rejection. Farewell. Thank you for your trouble. Here is something for you to spend. [Offers VIOLA money]

VIOLA

I am no fee’d post, lady. Keep your purse. My master, not myself, lacks recompense. Love make his heart of flint that you shall love, And let your fervor, like my master’s, be Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.

VIOLA

I'm no paid messenger, my lady. Keep your money. It's my master, not myself, who's going without his due reward. May the man you fall in love with have a heart of stone, and may your passion, like my master's, be scornfully rejected. Farewell, you beautiful cruelty.

Exit

OLIVIA

“What is your parentage?” “Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. I am a gentleman.” I’ll be sworn thou art; Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit, Do give thee fivefold blazon. Not too fast! Soft, soft! Unless the master were the man. How now? Even so quickly may one catch the plague? Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections With an invisible and subtle stealth To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.— What ho, Malvolio!

OLIVIA

"What rank are your parents?" "I was born to a higher rank than I have now, but I'm still well-off. I am a gentleman." Yes, I'll swear that you are; your words, your face, your body, your actions, and your spirit all seem like a coat of arms for a lord. But not so fast! Calm down, calm down! If only Orsino were Cesario. But what's going on? Can someone catch the plague of love this quickly? I think I can feel this youth's perfection creeping stealthily and invisibly in through my eyes. Well, let it happen. [Calling out to MALVOLIO] Come, Malvolio!

Enter MALVOLIO

MALVOLIO

Here, madam, at your service.

MALVOLIO

Here, madam, at your service.

OLIVIA

Run after that same peevish messenger, The county’s man. He left this ring behind him, Would I or not. Tell him I’ll none of it. [OLIVIA hands him a ring] Desire him not to flatter with his lord, Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him. If that the youth will come this way tomorrow, I’ll give him reasons for ’t. Hie thee, Malvolio.

OLIVIA

Run after that irritating messenger who just left, the duke's man. He left this ring behind, whether I wanted it or not. Tell him I want nothing to do with it. [OLIVIA hands him a ring] Tell him not to encourage Orsino, or get his hopes up. I am not for him. And tell that youth that if he'll come by tomorrow, I'll give him reasons why. Now hurry up, Malvolio.

MALVOLIO

Madam, I will.

MALVOLIO

Madam, I will.

Exit

OLIVIA

I do I know not what and fear to find Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind. Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe. What is decreed must be, and be this so.

OLIVIA

I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm afraid that I'm falling in love based entirely on good looks—using my eyes instead of using my head. Fate, do what you will. We can't control our destinies. What must be will be, so let it happen.

Exit

Twelfth night
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Matt cosby
About the Translator: Matt Cosby
Matt Cosby graduated from Amherst College in 2011, and currently works as a writer and editor for LitCharts. He is from Florida but now lives in Portland, Oregon, where he also makes art, plays the piano, and goes to dog parks.