Everything I Never Told You: Chapter 5 Summary & Analysis

During Hannah’s life, the Lees have never discussed Marilyn’s disappearance, and thus Hannah has no idea that it happened. After Lydia’s death, Hannah feels confused and angry. She wants to ask Lydia what it was like to disappear into the lake. On what would have been her last day of school, Hannah lies awake before sneaking out at 2am, something she’s been planning for weeks. As she creeps across the front lawn, she imagines Lydia doing the same thing and witnessing the same sights of their neighborhood at night. In the distance, she can see the glimmer of the lake. Hannah plans to row out just as Lydia did, but when she gets closer she sees that the boat is gone. She lies down on the dock and looks up at the stars. If everything were normal, she and her siblings would have spent time on the lake; Lydia would cover herself in baby oil and James and Nath would swim. Now, they will never go to the lake again. No one talks about Lydia, and Hannah feels overwhelmed by how little she still understands about her death.

Back at home, Hannah goes into Lydia’s room and retrieves a broken silver locket. She has promised Lydia she will never wear it, so instead she just rubs it in her hands. The bed still smells like Lydia, and Hannah resolves to come into her room every night. In the morning, the family argues over the fact that the chain is not on the door. Hannah repeats “I’m sorry I’m sorry” in her head, but says nothing aloud. Marilyn insists that Lydia would not have left on her own accord and that “some nutcase” must have kidnapped her. James sighs, wanting to argue that they could not have changed Lydia’s fate with a more securely-locked door; however, he says nothing. In his office, he keeps a copy of the news article about Lydia’s death. It mentions the fact that Lydia and Nath stood out as the only non-white students at school and that few students knew Lydia well. Since then, more and more articles have been published, mostly arguing that Lydia’s death was likely a suicide.

James responds that he doesn’t think a “nutcase” took Lydia. Just then, Officer Fiske arrives, and informs the family that they have spoken to Karen Adler and Lydia’s other friends and that they all “barely knew her.” James flushes with embarrassment as Fiske asks if Lydia was lonely, and cautiously mentions that she did spend a lot of time alone. Marilyn adds that Lydia was hard-working and busy with schoolwork. When Fiske asks if Lydia was unhappy, Marilyn immediately cuts him off, saying that she was “very happy” and “loved school.” She insists that Lydia would not have gone out on the lake by herself and urges the officer to look for the “psycho” who must have kidnapped Lydia. Fiske promises that they are considering “all possibilities” and asks to speak to Nath.

Nath steps outside with Officer Fiske, thinking that if Lydia had been a “normal” teenage girl the police would have already understood what Nath knows—that Jack is to blame. Nath understands the narrative now emerging about Lydia: that she was lonely, struggling in school, from a strange family. However, he is convinced that this is wrongly obscuring Jack’s role in her death. Fiske explains that he wants to speak to Nath because sometimes siblings understand things in a way that their parents don’t. He asks Nath if Lydia ever snuck out by herself at night, and Nath replies she didn’t. When asked if Lydia got along with her parents, Nath replies that she did. He is shocked by the officer’s question about whether their parents ever hit her and insists that they didn’t, that they “loved her.” Nath likewise denies that Lydia ever spoke of self-harm. However, when Fiske asks if Lydia seemed sad the night she disappeared, Nath thinks of her silence at dinner and suddenly starts to cry.

Inside, Marilyn is furious at James for dismissing her suggestion that a stranger was involved in Lydia’s death. James accuses her of being “hysterical” as a result of watching the news. Meanwhile, Hannah slips under the kitchen table, alarmed by hearing her parents fight for the first time. Marilyn balks at the suggestion that she is a “hysterical housewife” and says that at least she doesn’t “kowtow to the police.” Although Marilyn barely notices, her use of the word “kowtow”—taken from Chinese—strikes James as a humiliating racial insult. James leaves and Marilyn shuts herself in her bedroom. When Nath returns, Hannah explains that their parents have had a fight.

Without verbally agreeing to do so, both Nath and Hannah head to the lake. Meanwhile, James circles the lake in his car, replaying Marilyn’s words in his mind and feeling a sense of responsibility for Lydia’s unhappiness and death. He had planned to tell Louisa that he loves Marilyn and that they must never sleep together again, but instead falls straight into her arms the moment he sees her. In Louisa’s bed, he is finally able to stop running the details of Lydia’s death and its consequences through his mind. Meanwhile, Marilyn paces in Lydia’s room, furiously replaying the conversation with the police in her mind. Lydia always seemed so happy and eager to please. Marilyn thinks back to the night Lydia died and wishes she’d hugged her and never let her go.

Marilyn cradles Lydia’s book bag, inhaling the “precious” smell of school. Suddenly, Marilyn notices that inside the bag are an open pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a box of condoms. She drops the bag, thinking that these items must belong to someone else. However, she remains uncertain, and remembers the police asking her if Lydia had a boyfriend. She resolves to understand everything about Lydia and what happened to her. Meanwhile, by the lake, Nath wonders what happened to Lydia’s body. Suddenly Jack appears on his way back from the high school graduation ceremony. Nath walks over to him, unsure of what he will do. Although he’s never fought anyone, he imagines pinning Jack down and getting him to admit that Lydia’s death was all his fault.

Hannah tries to stop her brother from approaching Jack, and, though Nath resists, she eventually drags him to his knees. Jack glances over and Nath is certain he sees fear in Jack’s eyes. Nath pushes Hannah away, surprised by her strength. Hannah begs her brother not to fight Jack, and she asks why Nath is so angry with Jack. Nath tells her that he knows that Jack was involved with Lydia’s death. He adds that Lydia fell in the lake before Hannah was born, when Nath was only seven. Hannah rests her head on Nath, expecting him to shoo her away, but he doesn’t.