Marriage, Family, and Social Norms Theme in We Need to Talk About Kevin

Eva’s ambivalence about motherhood and embracing traditional gender roles is at the root of her family’s trouble. Unequivocally, Eva does not want to be a mother, yet she ultimately chooses to become pregnant for Franklin, who has always wanted to be a father. After becoming pregnant, Eva expects (or, at least, hopes) that she will naturally fall into her role as a mother—as society seems to imply she will—but she never does. After many years of trying to connect with her child, Kevin, however, mothering Kevin remains as unnatural and unfulfilling as ever for Eva.

Franklin has a different view completely, as he always knew that he wanted children. He doesn’t struggle with mixed feelings about fatherhood—perhaps because society expects less from fathers of young children than they do from mothers. When Kevin is young, Franklin is never the one to stay at home with him, so he doesn’t see the hardships that Eva faces of caring for an infant all day long. Though Eva is often frustrated by Franklin’s embrace of gender norms, she complies with his views by leaving her work to care for Kevin. In fact, Eva is more passionate about her work than Franklin is, and her career brings in far more income than his. Though Eva defies traditional gender roles by being the “breadwinner,” she still chooses to stay home with her children as Franklin, and society, expects her to. Eva ends up being jealous of Franklin’s relationship with their son, while Franklin resents Eva for being unable to embrace parenthood. It seems likely that Franklin’s relationship with Kevin is less strained simply because he spends less time with him, and Eva’s struggle stems from the fact that she sacrifices much more than her husband does for their son.

All in all, Eva and Franklin have vastly different opinions on parenthood because they have vastly different experiences of it, and this divide ultimately causes the collapse of the entire family. Eva meets a woman in Kevin’s prison who tells her that people always blame a child’s mother for their hardships but that no one ever blames fathers. This is true in Eva’s case, suggesting that societal gender norms are not only baseless but also harmful to the longevity and wellbeing of families.

Marriage, Family, and Social Norms ThemeTracker

The ThemeTracker below shows where, and to what degree, the theme of Marriage, Family, and Social Norms appears in each chapter of We Need to Talk About Kevin. Click or tap on any chapter to read its Summary & Analysis.

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Chapter

Marriage, Family, and Social Norms Quotes in We Need to Talk About Kevin

Below you will find the important quotes in We Need to Talk About Kevin related to the theme of Marriage, Family, and Social Norms.

There’s no better way to get people to cooperate in this country than by seeming a little unhinged.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Mary Woolford, Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 16

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva is at the supermarket buying eggs and realizes that Mary Woolford smashed her eggs while she wasn’t looking, but she insists on buying the broken eggs, even after the shop clerk says she will replace them with a new carton. After the murders, Eva starts to act more “unhinged” in various ways. She cites this interaction at the supermarket as an example of this “unhinged” behavior. In another instance, when she was testifying in court, the parents of Kevin’s victims having sued her for parental negligence, Eva is surprisingly forthcoming about what it was really like to raise Kevin. Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam conseq

Besides, the good life doesn’t knock on the door. Joy is a job. So if you believed with sufficient industry that we had had a good time with Brian and Louise in theory, then we would have had a good time in fact.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 28

Explanation and Analysis:

Before they have kids, Eva and Franklin are leaving their friends’ house, where they have just had lunch. Eva reflects on how differently she and Franklin experienced the time they spent there. Eva has plenty of complaints about the lunch and how it could have gone better, but Franklin insists that it was a good time because there was nothing theoretically wrong with the meal. This exemplifies how differently Eva and Franklin think—Eva thinks in particularities while Franklin thinks in generalities. Later, when Eva and Franklin have a family, this difference will end up coming between the couple, and it Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore

The only way my head was going truly somewhere else was to travel to a different life and not to a different airport. “Motherhood,” I condensed in the park. “Now, that is a foreign country.”

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 31

Explanation and Analysis:

Before Eva and Franklin have Kevin, they discuss whether they should have kids. Eva is an avid traveler, but she has lately become bored of visiting new countries. She feels that she needs novelty in her life, and she wonders if motherhood might bring her the excitement that she used to get from travel. Eva doesn’t realize it at the time, but this notion is harmful and selfish. After having Kevin, Eva learns that motherhood is far from an exotic adventure. In fact, Eva finds it boring and mundane, and she often wishes she could return to her old life Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum vo

How lucky we are, when we’re spared what we think we want!

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 49

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva reflects on how Franklin is the opposite of the type of man she thought she would marry. Eva always thought she would marry a liberal European, but Franklin is a conservative, American patriot. Eva is grateful that she ends up with Franklin instead of the type of man she thought she wanted, however, and she realizes that oftentimes people are wrong about what they think they want. For example, Eva is wrong when she thinks she wants a child, Franklin is wrong when he thinks he wants to leave Eva and take Kevin, and Kevin is wrong when he Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus

I was visiting your country. The one you had made for yourself, the way a child constructs a log cabin out of Popsicle sticks.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 51

Explanation and Analysis:

When Eva and Franklin first meet, Franklin tries to show Eva how great America can be. Eva gets the impression that Franklin idealizes America. He doesn’t see the country for what it really is, Eva believes, and he instead creates an idealized image of what he wants it to be, and then he convinces himself that his mental construction is reality. Franklin’s tendency to idealize America ends up causing many problems for the family because he is never able to look past his idealized mental images and see things for what they really are. For example, Franklin refuses to accept Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia e

“It’s very dangerous,” I said. Indeed, just about any stranger could have turned up nine months later. We might as well have left the door unlocked.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 63

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva and Franklin are contemplating whether they should have a child, and they have unprotected sex for the first time. Eva decides on a whim that she wants a child because she wants someone who could help her through the loss of Franklin, should he die unexpectedly. This is a selfish reason to want a child—Eva thinks only about what her child can offer her instead of what she can offer her child. Eva’s logic is also ironic because, of course, Kevin does not help Eva through the loss of Franklin. Instead, Kevin directly causes Eva to lose Franklin, first Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perferendis. Sit neque odit. Tenetur

Only the untouched, the well-fed and contented, could possibly covet suffering like a designer jacket.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 74

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva is pregnant with Kevin, and she and Franklin are discussing what they should name him. Eva wants Kevin to take her last name instead of Franklin’s because Eva’s sounds less American and it honors her Armenian heritage. After Kevin’s murders, Eva reflects on how naïve she was to try to use the tragedy of the Armenian genocide to lend her child social status. Before Kevin is born, Eva does have a pompous and entitled attitude. She feels that she’s above others because of her Armenian heritage and because she is well-traveled. Eva looks down on American culture as though Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non i

When you lifted the needle peremptorily, you scratched a groove, so that forever after the song would skip and keep repeating, Baby what did you expect…

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 76

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva is pregnant with Kevin, and Franklin comes home to find Eva listening to a record and dancing. Franklin does not approve because he thinks Eva dancing will damage the fetus, so he stops the record. The line of the song that the record stops on—“Baby what did you expect…”—symbolizes Eva’s life coming to a complete standstill after Kevin is born. Eva has lofty expectations before she becomes pregnant—she thinks having a child will be a life-changing adventure that will bring her joy, love, and emotional fulfillment. But Eva’s vision of the future are never realistic, and reality always falls Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliqua

I panicked, thinking, There’s nowhere to hide.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Celia Plaskett, Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 145

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva, Franklin, and Kevin move into their new house in the suburbs. Eva didn’t want to move to the suburbs, and Franklin picked out the house without Eva’s input. When Eva sees it for the first time, she hates it. It has an open floorplan, and Eva has the sensation that it offers her no place to hide. Eva already feels like she sacrifices too much for her family. When she moves into the new house, she feels that she has given up every part of herself. With “nowhere to hide,” Eva has no space completely to herself, and she Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Vel

After all, you practiced rounding up on Kevin from the day he was born. Me, I’m a stickler. I prefer my photographs in focus.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 145

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva, Franklin, and Kevin are moving into their new house, and Franklin excitedly gives Eva a tour (he picked out the house without Eva’s input, and this is the first time she’s seeing it). Eva considers that Franklin is partially faking his enthusiasm. She wonders if he notices the flaws in the house but is choosing to ignore them—“rounding up” based on his idealized image of a blissful nuclear family in their new, suburban house and ignoring the way the actual house (and his actual family) falls short of those expectations. Eva often discusses how Franklin sees things in generalities Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam consequatur. Minima porro perferendis. Sit neque odit. Tenetur qui dignissimos. Qui et ut. Voluptate labore corporis. Hic tempore laborum. Nisi quia ea. Quia soluta itaque. Deleniti nisi earum. Ad tenetur laboriosam. Eum ac

You can blame your mother, and she can blame hers. Leastways sooner or later it’s the fault of somebody who’s dead.

Related Characters: Loretta Greenleaf (speaker), Eva Khatchadourian, Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 178

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva is visiting Kevin in prison. In the waiting room, she starts talking to the mother of another inmate (Loretta Greenleaf). Eva explains to Loretta who she is, and Loretta tells Eva not to blame herself for what Kevin did. She explains that society always blames mothers for their children’s actions, but no one blames fathers or accepts that some kids just don’t turn into good people even if they are raised well. If Kevin blames Eva for how he turned out, then Eva can blame her own mother, and her grandmother, and so on. Loretta’s point is that a Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitati

Impatient with the slow pace of made-for-TV combat, he grumbled, “I don’t see why Cone Power bothers with all that little junk, Dad. Nuke ‘em. That’d teach the Raqis who’s boss.” You thought it was adorable.

Related Characters: Kevin Khatchadourian (speaker), Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Franklin Plaskett, Celia Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 232

Explanation and Analysis:

The Gulf War has just begun, and Kevin watches the combat on television alongside Franklin. Kevin’s callous commentary on the war is concerning, and even though Franklin’s lack of reaction dismays Eva, she doesn’t do anything to correct Kevin, either. In fact, Eva is pregnant with Celia at this time, and since then she has more or less given up on trying to correct Kevin’s disturbing behavior. Eva even admits that she barely remembers anything about Kevin since he is eight years old. This quote is also another example of Eva’s unreliable narration. Eva writes earlier that she tells the Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptat

“Like how?” he said, carefully pulling the rough salmon-colored husk off the fruit, exposing the pinkish-white flesh. “Celia does not look like a geek?” When the pale translucent orb was peeled, he popped it in his mouth, sucked, and pulled it back out.

Related Characters: Kevin Khatchadourian (speaker), Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Franklin Plaskett, Celia Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 307

Explanation and Analysis:

Celia is in the hospital after losing her eye due to an incident involving drain cleaner. Eva is sure that Kevin is responsible for Celia’s injury, but Franklin doesn’t agree. Franklin and Eva tell Kevin that he needs to help his sister when she comes home from the hospital, and Kevin meticulously destroys and eats lychees as they speak. Eva’s description of the lychee fruit Kevin is eating, with its “rough salmon-colored husk,” makes the fruit sound unsettlingly similar in appearance to a human eye. Kevin seems to be destroying the fruits to intentionally make Eva uncomfortable, indicating that he Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae

When you love your kids, and you’re there for them, and you take them on trips, like to museums and battlefields, and make time for them, you have faith in them and express an interest in what they think? That’s when this kind off plunging off the deep end doesn’t happen. And if you don’t believe me, ask Kevin.

Related Characters: Franklin Plaskett (speaker), Eva Khatchadourian, Kevin Khatchadourian

Page Number and Citation: 325

Explanation and Analysis:

An epidemic of school shootings has begun across the country, and Eva, Franklin, and Kevin watch the news and talk about the recent development. Eva says that she thinks lack of gun control is the main factor that contributes to school shootings, but Franklin argues that bad parenting is the main cause. To illustrate his point, he earnestly points to Kevin as the type of kid who was raised well and would never commit a violent act. Franklin’s view of Kevin and his family situation in general is shockingly delusional at this point. Franklin seems to describe his idea of Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Acc

Almost to, what, know you’re alive. To show other people they don’t control you. To prove you can do something, even if it could get you arrested.

Related Characters: Eva Khatchadourian (speaker), Kevin Khatchadourian , Franklin Plaskett

Page Number and Citation: 339

Explanation and Analysis:

Eva finds a collection of computer viruses on floppy disks in Kevin’s room. She asks Kevin why he would own such a collection, and Kevin struggles to explain why. Eva offers this possible explanation, and Kevin agrees with her that he wanted to prove himself to the world. Eva partially understands why Kevin has the computer viruses because she can relate to wanting to do something simply to “know you’re alive” or to “show other people they don’t control you.” Eva does many things just to feel excitement or experience something new, and Kevin’s behavior is driven by similar urges. Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium e

Marriage, Family, and Social Norms Theme Analysis

Marriage, Family, and Social Norms ThemeTracker

Marriage, Family, and Social Norms Quotes in We Need to Talk About Kevin

Chapter 1: November 8, 2000 Quotes

Chapter 2: November 15, 2000 Quotes

Chapter 4: December 2, 2000 Quotes

Chapter 5: December 8, 2000 Quotes

Chapter 6: December 9, 2000 Quotes

Chapter 12: January 1, 2001 Quotes

Chapter 14: January 13, 2001 Quotes

Chapter 17: February 1, 2001 Quotes

Chapter 22: March 8, 2001 Quotes

Chapter 23: March 11, 2001 Quotes