In Letter 15, Pamela tells her mother that she cut off her last letter abruptly because Mr. B. walked in on her and accused her of gossiping (in writing) when she should be working. Pamela uses pathos and ethos in her attempt to convince Mr. B. not to punish her:
I fell down on my Knees, and said, For God’s sake, your Honour, pity a poor distressed Creature, that knows nothing of her Duty, but how to cherish her Virtue and good Name! I have nothing else to trust to; and tho’ poor and friendless here, yet I have always been taught to value Honesty above my Life.
Pamela's posture, begging on her knees, is a common gesture of supplication, or humble petitioning. It is designed to flatter Mr. B. by putting him in a physical position of power over Pamela as she begs for his mercy. She calls on him to "pity" her and notice her "distress." She claims that if she is shirking her duties, it is because the only duty she has ever known has been protecting her "Virtue and good Name" (meaning her virginity and her reputation). Pamela impresses upon Mr. B. the high stakes of this duty: she is "poor and friendless" in his household, and the only thing she has to rely on is her "Virtue and good Name." Whereas Mr. B. has accused her of being disobedient, she appeals to his sympathy to see the difficult position she is in and to see her as someone utterly dedicated to her duty to protect herself from his sexual attention. This dedication, she implores him to believe, is what has driven her to write to her mother about him—not any desire to work against him. She insists that she is not trying to be dishonest by writing about him behind his back. In fact, she tells him that she would rather die than be dishonest with him. This intense statement is designed to soothe any feelings of distrust Mr. B. has toward Pamela. If she can get him to believe that she will never lie to him on purpose, he will trust her more and give her more freedom.
In the Journal, Pamela describes one night when Mr. B. begins to show her some sympathy. Whether or not he is sincere, he uses ethos and logos to persuade Pamela that she should trust him:
Had I been utterly given up to my Passions, I should before now have gratify’d them, and not have shewn that Remorse and Compassion for you, which have repriev’d you more than once, when absolutely in my Power; and you are as inviolate a Virgin as you was when you came into my House.
Mr. B. has repeatedly assaulted Pamela. Most recently, he disguised himself as Nan so that he could wait in Pamela's room for her to go to bed. He then got Mrs. Jewkes to help him attack her. As Pamela reports it, this attack was deeply traumatic for her and has made her even more afraid to sleep in her own bed. Rather than apologize for it, Mr. B. maintains that he has done nothing wrong. He tells Pamela to think about the fact that she is still "as inviolate a Virgin as you was when you came into my House." By this, he means that he has never penetrated Pamela's body when he has assaulted her. It does not seem that this is for lack of trying; thus far, Pamela has always managed to fight him off before he can do more than grope her. But Mr. B. twists this fact into evidence that he respects her and has shown her "remorse and compassion." He tells her that if he had "utterly given up to [his] Passions," she would have lost her virginal status by now. He thus makes himself out to be an upstanding man who is interested in her well-being.
Mr. B.'s argument may seem very weak to today's readers, but it is convincing to Pamela. This is when she starts to believe in Mr. B.'s integrity. In fact, the book treats this as a major turning point for Mr. B. and his relationship with Pamela. He may not demonstrate real respect for her boundaries, but he does demonstrate that he understands how important it is for her to remain an "inviolate virgin." As long as she can still call herself a virgin, Mr. B. suggests, he has not done any real damage to her. In today's world, it is clear that this is a false conclusion. But in the 18th century, such a premium was placed on virginity that it could make or break a woman's entire future. This moment in the novel demonstrates that Mr. B., Richardson, and maybe even Pamela herself are interested in just how far sexuality and sexual violence can go without destroying a woman's imagined status as a "virgin."
In the Journal (continued), Mr. B. gets very angry when Lady Davers brings up Sally Godfrey, especially when Pamela tries to convince him to forgive Lady Davers for her intrusive comment. Mr. B. uses ethos to convince Pamela that she does not need to worry about Sally Godfrey as long as she continues to be a good wife:
Now, my Dear, I would have you think, and, I hope, you will have no other Reason, that had I marry’d the first Lady in the Land, I would not have treated her better than I will my Pamela. For my Wife is my Wife; and I was the longer in resolving on the State, because I knew its Requisites, and doubted my Conduct in it.
Mr. B. starts by flattering Pamela (as well as indirectly putting her down a bit). He swears that he treats her just as well as he would treat "the first Lady in the Land." With this comment, he at once aligns Pamela with the highest-status noblewoman imaginable and points out that she is not "the first Lady in the Land." Mr. B. paints his hypothetical equal treatment of both women as evidence that he is a principled man. "[M]y Wife is my Wife," he proclaims, and he tells Pamela that the reason he waited so long to marry her was that he wanted to make sure he was up to the "requisites," or demands, of the role.
Even to the reader who has witnessed all of Mr. B.'s horrendous behavior toward Pamela, he begins to sound here as though he has truly reformed. Still, his subsequent speech about the many things Pamela owes him as his wife undermines some of his credibility. However he actually feels about the institution of marriage, he makes himself sound as though he takes it very seriously so that he can go on to demand that Pamela take it as seriously as he does.
In the Journal (continued), Pamela tells her parents about Mr. B.'s impressive intellect and her fervent hope that she will never lose sight of her own humility when speaking with him. She indirectly cultivates her own ethos via a metaphor as she asks them to keep praying for her:
And don’t cease your Prayers for me, my dear Parents; for, perhaps, this new Condition may be subject to still worse Hazards than those I have escap’d; as would be the Case, were Conceitedness, Vanity, and Pride, to take hold of my frail Heart! and if I was, for my Sins, to be left to my own Conduct, a frail Ship in a tempestuous Ocean, without Ballast, or other Pilot than my own inconsiderate Will.
Pamela is excited to marry Mr. B., but she does not trust that her trials and tribulations are over. She expects that "still worse Hazards than those I have escap'd" may await her in her marriage if she becomes "conceited," "vain," or "prideful." Even if Mr. B. is on his best behavior from now on, Pamela is sure that she will need outside guidance to keep disaster from happening in her marriage. She metaphorically compares herself to "a frail Ship in a tempestuous Ocean." If she does not have "ballast" (something to weigh her down) or "other Pilot than my own inconsiderate Will" to navigate this "tempestuous Ocean," she is sure that she will encounter her greatest "hazards" yet. Pamela feels that her parents' prayers and the pressure to please them will help keep her on course when her own "inconsiderate will" would have her drift off in a different direction.
Paradoxically, Pamela's insistence that she cannot trust herself makes her seem all the more trustworthy. She demonstrates that she understands the big risk she is taking by marrying Mr. B., and she has enough self-awareness to know that she will not be able to take on every challenge herself. If Pamela did not show this level of caution, she would seem far more foolish for marrying the man who has spent half the book manipulating her. Acknowledging her own shortcomings in fact helps her look more competent, virtuous, and ready to make what looks on the surface like a rash decision. In turn, she ends up using ethos.
