In “Dark Roots,” the protagonist’s internal struggle over dating Paul, a man 13 years her junior, illustrates the deep influence that ageism and misogyny can have on women and ultimately shows that self-acceptance comes from within. From the very beginning of the story, Kennedy shows the protagonist’s obsession with her own aging process; at her gynecologist appointment, she reminisces about her younger days with her “flat stomach that effortlessly stayed that way.” The protagonist’s conversation with her friends about her relationship also serves to demonstrate that anxiety over aging is common among women. One friend comments that if the age difference between the protagonist and Paul were reversed, no one would bat an eye—showing that where aging is concerned, society has a misogynistic double standard. Still, throughout the story the protagonist’s friends gently tease her about her age, commenting that the restaurant that she and Paul had her first date at has “over-thirties lighting.” The protagonist’s friends’ comments show that, although one can be aware of the unfair standards and expectations put on women about aging, these unfair standards still take a psychological toll and shape women’s self-image.
As the protagonist’s relationship progresses, she becomes more and more anxious about Paul seeing the signs of her age. She worries about Paul seeing her wrinkles, referring to her face and neck as “spinster aunt skin.” When the couple argues, she wills herself not to cry, and symbolically not to show her true self, lest she appear “haggard,” “ugly,” and “old.” Finally, in a small victory over her own insecurity in the final scene of the story, the protagonist admits to Paul that she will “be forty in a fortnight.” However, as the scene takes place in a dark room, Kennedy doesn’t reveal Paul’s reaction. Whereas throughout the story the protagonist has used darkness to hide herself, in this scene the darkness transforms into a tool for empowerment; the protagonist’s inability to see Paul’s reaction renders that reaction irrelevant, and thus prioritizes her own self-image over others’ perceptions of her. Through the protagonist’s journey to overcome ageism and misogyny, Kennedy suggests that because societal standards are often perpetuated from within, self-acceptance is the first step to broader societal acceptance .
Related Themes from Other Texts
Ageism and Misogyny ThemeTracker
Ageism and Misogyny Quotes in Dark Roots
“You’re not a smoker, are you?”
“No.”
“Only because if you were, at your age, I’d never be prescribing this brand.”
And you feel that little swoop again, hear the at your age like stepping on a sharp piece of gravel, a wince at ludicrous defensiveness.
“If he were thirty-nine and you were thirteen years younger nobody would turn a hair. I say go for it.”
Once upon a time you would have said, confidently: show me someone who says they’ve never had a fantasy of being the Older Woman, and I’ll show you a liar.
Here’s a dead giveaway: in the supermarket, that third week, your hand will reach out and take a box of hair colour and it’s the easiest thing in the world to appear the next day with red highlights.
You start thinking you actually have those rich chestnut highlights in your hair naturally. Well. You know the rest. You know how it all goes. Then, a week into the contraceptives, you’re ravenous.
Thirteen years ago you were living in London, fervently avoiding any chance of children. Now you’re one of those nuisance women obstetricians must hate, waking up to the alarm on your biological clock just before it runs itself down…. [E]very pill sticks in your throat like a sugar-coated lie.
He goes and buys fish and chips and you eat them at a picnic table, everything dazzling and warm. But once that poison has started, once you’re committed to giving yourself a measured dose of it every day, nothing’s going to be enough. You have traded in your unselfconsciousness for this double-visioned state of standing outside yourself, watchful and tensed for exposure.
Funny how the dye seems to have missed the odd grey hair, which seems stronger and wirier than the others…. and the sight of your own cellulite (all those chips!) so disgusts you and saps your energy that you doubt whether you can actually get dressed and drag yourself out of the [department store changing room], away from that ridiculous lingerie or the jeans you’ve chosen.
“And Jesus, will you just relax and stop worrying about your weight? How much reassurance do you need?”
“I don’t need reassurance.”
“Yes, you do. It’s so bloody tiring. It’s like you’ve already decided to end it and you’re just waiting for me to slip up so you can blame me.”
You’d opened and closed your mouth like a stunned fish. A wave of nausea. You’d clenched your jaw, saying nothing. Don’t cry, you’d ordered yourself., don’t you dare. Mascara running haggard. Lines. Ugly. Old.
“I’ll be forty in a fortnight,” you say.
Impossible to gauge his real, unadorned reaction to that news. You’ll have to turn the light on for that.
