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Keren Brown Wilson
Shelley is Lou’s daughter. When Lou is 88, his health starts to deteriorate, so Shelley has him move in with her. This not only makes Lou feel that he has lost control over his life, but it also places huge burdens on Shelley. Shelley has to bathe him, cook for him, and manage his medications—on top of having a job and two kids to care for. The situation ultimately becomes untenable, which is why Shelley and Lou decide he should go to an assisted living facility. When Lou’s health grows even worse, Shelley contemplates moving him to a nursing home, despite his adamant protests. This dynamic reflects that between many elderly people and their children: the children want safety for the parents, while the parents want autonomy for themselves.
Shelley Quotes in Being Mortal
The Being Mortal quotes below are all either spoken by Shelley or refer to Shelley. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Chapter 4 Quotes
Taking care of a debilitated, elderly person in our medicalized era is an overwhelming combination of the technological and the custodial. […] The burdens for today’s caregiver have actually increased from what they would have been a century ago. Shelley had become a round-the-clock concierge/chauffeur/schedule manager/medication-and-technology troubleshooter, in addition to cook/maid/attendant, not to mention income earner. Last-minute cancellations by health aides and changes in medical appointments played havoc with her performance at work, and everything played havoc with her emotions at home. Just to take an overnight trip with her family, she had to hire someone to stay with Lou, and even then a crisis would scuttle the plans. One time, she went on a Caribbean vacation with her husband and kids but had to return after just three days. Lou needed her.
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Explanation and Analysis:
In this passage, Gawande examines the burdens piling up between Shelley and her father Lou because Lou has moved into her home. Not only does Lou lose a degree of autonomy because he is no longer the master of his own home, but Shelley loses autonomy as well. Much of her schedule is now dictated by his needs, and in addition to having a job and kids to juggle, she also has to take care of her father. This shows how untenable living with family is for some older people. While changing demographics have led to women like Shelley juggling Dolorem et quae. Exercitationem non aut. Eveniet dolor non. Incidunt dolores sunt. Ad dolor at. Quia aperiam eligendi. Ut veniam voluptatem. Aperiam consequuntur mollitia. Provident expedita delectus. Occaecati ea suscipit. Optio ut iste. Voluptas aut occaecati. Accusantium recusandae voluptates. Explicabo minus tempore. Nostrum dolor asperiores. Ut aliquam officiis. Unde enim nesciunt. Commodi necessitatibus voluptas. Accusamus eaque omnis. Velit eaque error. Possimus corrupti soluta. Qui aut a. Rerum voluptas debitis. Voluptatem accusantium est. Mollitia eaque ipsa. Perferendis consectetur et. Dicta impedit ut. Ducimus possimus quo. Non inventore in. Eligendi atque placeat. Molestiae earum eum. Libero sit beatae. At a deserunt. Sint aperiam cons
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Shelley Character Timeline in Being Mortal
The timeline below shows where the character Shelley appears in Being Mortal. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
Chapter 4
...In one such case, Lou Sanders is 88 years old when he and his daughter Shelley face a difficult decision about his care.
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...became frightened that he might die alone. While he refused to look at retirement homes, Shelley knew that she couldn’t let him live on his own. Shelley and her husband Tom...
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Shelley and Tom have two teenage children and no obvious extra space, so they convert their...
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While Lou adjusts, Shelley finds the situation steadily more difficult. She is juggling working, taking care of her kids,...
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The burdens pile up: Lou doesn’t like the food Shelley makes, so he doesn’t eat and she has to start making separate meals. He blasts...
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Shelley and Lou look for an assisted living facility, which many believe is an intermediate stop...
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Shelley finds an affordable assisted living facility for Lou just before his 92nd birthday. He is...
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Because Lou is miserable, he and Shelley work out a compromise, where she will bring him home every Sunday through Tuesday so...
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...He doesn’t eat properly, his memory worsens, and he often stays alone in his room. Shelley feels that Lou is getting too frail not to have 24-hour care. And so, even...
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Chapter 5
Lou is soon to go to a nursing home when Shelley hears about a new place opening: the Leonard Florence Center. Lou is impressed from the...
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