Summary
Analysis
Eleanor’s trip to Dr. Temple’s office requires a bus ride and a walk, but she’s let her bus pass expire, which she takes as a symptom of her newfound “anomie.” Nothing matters to her now except for Marianne.
Eleanor’s new obsession with Marianne reveals how heavily she had been repressing her. However, the aftermath of Eleanor’s previous obsession with the musician should flag the potential self-destructive effect this preoccupation could have on Eleanor.
Eleanor pays her bus fare with coins and sits down at the front of the bus. Many people get on the bus after Eleanor, but none of them sit next to her, which leads her to think that she must be mad. She becomes increasingly anxious, causing a man wearing no socks to ask if she’s alright. Eleanor assures him that she’s fine. He tells her it’s fine to “tak[e] a wee moment” for oneself, and Eleanor sees that this is true. Eleanor had previously thought the man was mad because he was wearing no socks, but now she sees that she shouldn’t have judged him so harshly.
Eleanor keeps an open mind, forces herself to stay in touch with her emotions and, as a result, transitions from a state of alienation to a state of connection and understanding. Earlier in the novel, when Eleanor was still repressing her own thoughts and acting under Mummy’s hypercritical influence, she tended to sink into her social alienation and retreat deeper inside of herself. Now, she makes more of an effort to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Eleanor recognizes her sympathy toward the man as her own thoughts, and her prior judgment of the man as Mummy’s. Feeling kind makes her feel like herself, not like Mummy.