Michelle is dazed and in pain after giving birth to her first child, Jason. The nurses and midwives fuss over her since her breastmilk hasn’t come in yet, and they teach her how often to wake up her baby, how to get him interested in feeding, and how to hold him. By now, Michelle is a little less afraid of holding him, but Des—who is Michelle’s boyfriend and Des’s father—is still visibly nervous and uncomfortable.
That night in the hospital, Michelle sneaks Jason out of his crib and gently lays him in bed with her, even though she’s not supposed to. She makes up songs for him and listens to him breathe for a while before sneaking him back into his crib. She decides that if any of the midwives scold her, she’ll scold them right back.
The next morning, the hospital staff continues to pester Michelle about whether or not her breastmilk has come in—they call it the “let-down reflex.” It hasn’t, nor has Jason developed his sucking reflex yet. The woman in the next room laments that she has the opposite problem: her baby feeds so aggressively that her skin is painfully cracked and raw. When the midwives are out of earshot, the woman confesses to Michelle that she plans to put her baby on formula the second she’s discharged from the hospital.
On Monday, Michelle is allowed to take a short, slow walk around the hospital courtyard. There, she spots a poster advertising $5 family portraits on Tuesdays at the supermarket complex across the street. Even though the doctor has ordered Michelle to stay in bed a few more days, she resolves to get her family portrait taken the following day. Though she’s still in severe pain, she lies to the nurses that she feels fine.
Throughout the day, Michelle tries to feed Jason, but she’s frustrated and close to tears that her milk hasn’t come in. The nurses wonder if she has the baby blues—one symptom is crying constantly, often for no reason—but Michelle says no. She actually hasn’t been crying recently—though she used to cry all the time before the birth. Back then, she’d thought that having a baby would spur Des to be a better person and partner, and that he’d become an adoring and committed father once he had a child of his own. But when Michelle went into labor, Des paced around, looked at her with “startled distaste,” and then excused himself from the room. He wasn’t even in the room when Jason was delivered. But the second that the nurses handed Jason to Michelle, she stopped worrying about Des and suddenly realized she didn’t need him anymore.
Des has always been secretive with Michelle—she only knows about his current criminal charge for aggravated assault because she found the court summons in his wallet. Michelle knows that Des is going to jail, since he’s already had three similar offenses and thus has no more probations. His court date is this Thursday, and she knows he’ll try to sidestep his sentence by explaining that he has a girlfriend and a newborn baby. But no more probations means that Des will be immediately shuttled from the court to jail. And though Des knows this too, he hasn’t said a word about it to Michelle. She thinks back to other instances of his secrecy, like when she borrowed his shirt and found a receipt in the pocket for an eight-pack of condoms—proof that he was cheating on her, even though she was pregnant with his baby.
Back in the present, Michelle tells Des that she might be allowed to go home on Thursday. He mumbles that he has “this court thing” then, so she tells him to arrange for his mother to be Michelle’s driver instead. Michelle remembers the first time she met Des’s parents: his mother indulgently fussed over Des and her other son, Kyle, while Des’s father laughed about Des’s misdemeanors and called him a “naughty boy.” Michelle smiled at the time, but now, looking at Des, she refuses to. Before Des leaves, Michelle tells him to buy something for the baby to wear in the portrait.
On Tuesday morning, Des proudly brandishes what he got for the baby: a tiny leather motorcycle jacket. Michelle is horrified. Once Michelle takes her pain medication, she gingerly makes her way to the supermarket complex with Des and Jason for the photo. There, she firmly tells the photographer that they want the $5 family special, and she poses herself, Des, and Jason just as she’s been planning. After the photographer snaps the picture, Michelle asks for another, this time without Jason’s motorcycle jacket on. Michelle is certain that this will be the shot she’ll choose. But when the camera flash goes off, Jason lets out a piercing wail, and milk suddenly begins seeping through Michelle’s shirt. She fumbles with the buttons on her shirt so that she can feed Jason, but Des is disgusted that she’d breastfeed in a public place. Michelle hardly hears him—she’s focused purely on Jason and knows that she has everything Jason needs.
