Normal People

Connell has been spending the summer traveling in Europe with Niall and a friend named Elaine. Helen, his girlfriend, is studying in Chicago for the summer—he talks to her on Skype at internet cafes, enjoying their conversations, even if sometimes it feels awkward to think of things to say. In some ways, he likes the feeling of having Skyped Helen more than the actual experience of Skyping her. But on the whole, dating Helen has changed Connell’s view of relationships. He feels a clarity in their relationship, finding it possible to straightforwardly tell her that he loves her. In each city he visits, he calls her, texts his mother, and writes Marianne an email.

Connell’s emails to Marianne are long and detailed. He pores over them, sometimes spending hours of his day thinking about what he’ll write to her the next time he’s at a computer. He likes describing ordinary things that he sees, feeling enlivened simply by the act of writing about his experiences and trying to communicate his thoughts to Marianne. He’s even been writing some short stories, though he has yet to show them to Marianne, who’s eager to read them because she loves his emails so much. Marianne is currently staying in her family’s vacation home in Trieste, Italy. Jamie and Peggy are there too, and soon Connell, Niall, and Elaine will join them.

Last April, both Marianne and Connell were awarded scholarships. That night, they were expected to dress in fancy clothes and eat a lavish dinner together in the dining hall. The scholarship has drastically changed Connell’s life. Suddenly, he doesn’t have to pay rent, tuition, or meals, which is why he can afford to travel in the summer instead of working. For Marianne, the scholarship was just a nice “self-esteem boost.” 

When Connell, Niall, and Elaine arrive at the house in Trieste, Marianne greets them. She’s in a beautiful dress, and Connell finds himself pleasantly overwhelmed by the sight of her. It feels to him like she’s looking at his face and trying to read it—it’s as if they can sense each other’s emotions. He, for his part, can see that she has things to tell him. He already knows she’ll be gone for the upcoming academic year, since she’ll be studying in Sweden and might not even come home for Christmas. In the abstract, it hasn’t bothered him that he might not see her for a whole year. He even liked the idea of continuing their email correspondence. Now that she’s in front of him, though, he realizes he’ll miss her.

The first time Marianne and Helen met was last February. Connell and Helen were holding hands, and though Connell felt horrifyingly awkward, Helen and Marianne spoke effortlessly with each other. Later, Helen asked what the story was with Marianne and Connell, but Connell had trouble talking about it—he just said they had a thing and was hesitant to define it any further. From then on, Helen made a point of trying to befriend Marianne, but she soon tired of this effort because Marianne didn’t seem to care about her. She then started trying to get Connell to say negative things about Marianne, but he never went for it, which annoyed her all the more.

It’s common knowledge these days that Marianne and Helen dislike each other. When he thinks about his relationship, Connell still feels good about being with Helen. He thinks she brings out the best in him, and spending time with her doesn’t make him feel out of place or crazed by desire in a way that seems out of his control. With Marianne, on the other hand, he always felt like there was a “wildness” in her that made its way into him.

At the house in Trieste, Connell, Marianne, and the others have dinner outside. They drink wine and talk about their plans to visit Venice. At one point, Jamie—who has been criticizing Marianne all night—makes a racist comment about Asian tourists. Niall calls him out, but Jamie doesn’t show any remorse. To avoid engaging in the conversation, Marianne goes to get the dessert, but when she comes back, Jamie demands to know why she didn’t bring out cream for the berries. Silently, she turns around and goes back inside. Jamie tries to look around the table for support, trying to make it seem like Marianne overreacted. When nobody will look at him, though, he slams back his chair and stomps after her.

A yell comes from inside. Everyone at the table stops talking, and Connell gets up. When he reaches Marianne and Jamie, neither of them acknowledges him. Instead, Marianne asks Jamie to put down the champagne glass he’s holding—she has already told him that the glasses used to belong to her father. “Okay, look, I’m putting it down,” he says, and drops it to the floor. She jumps at him. Connell intervenes and directs her away while Jamie laughs. Steering Marianne outside, Connell takes her away from the house. They lean against a tree, holding each other, and Connell runs his fingers through her hair, feeling her tension unwind.

That night, Marianne sleeps in Connell’s bed so she can distance herself from Jamie. Lying there with her, Connell realizes he could have sex with her and thinks about what it would be like, wondering how he would feel about himself as a person if it happened. At one point, she says she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, wishing she could be like “normal people.” She tells Connell that her family hates her, saying that Alan told her to kill herself the last time she was home. Connell sits up, angry, and tries to understand why anyone would say something like that. He asks if Alan ever hits her, and she says that he does, though his psychological torments are what bother her the most.

Connell can’t believe what he’s hearing. He wants to know why Marianne never told him that Alan was abusive, and she says she didn’t want him to think she was “damaged.” Connell finds this idea too much to take. He starts crying—hard—and tells her to come to him. Then they’re in each other’s arms and kissing. He feels guilty because he knows he always thought of Marianne as “damaged” in some way. They keep kissing, and he slides his hand to her breast, but then she says they shouldn’t keep going. She pulls away and turns around as Connell feels his breathing begin to slow. “I’m really sorry,” he says, but she just squeezes his hand.