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Mary
The Fire Chief turns out to be responsible for the third and fourth times that the Smiths’ doorbell rings, but not the first and second (the third time, he rang the bell and then hid, as a joke). The Smiths invite him inside, and he laments the recent lack of fires in the area. The Smiths and Martins then pressure him into telling a series of nonsensical animal fables. When Mary returns, the Fire Chief is surprised, as they were once lovers, and they begin canoodling in front of the others. On his way out, he asks the group an open-ended question about “the bald soprano,” which seems to catalyze their descent into madness once he leaves. He is a somewhat ludicrous figure, and the esteem in which the Smiths and Martins hold him is perhaps meant to satirize respect for authority.
Fire Chief Quotes in The Bald Soprano
The The Bald Soprano quotes below are all either spoken by Fire Chief or refer to Fire Chief. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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The Bald Soprano Quotes
FIRE CHIEF: I am going to reconcile you. You both are partly right. When the doorbell rings, sometimes there is someone, other times there is no one.
MR. MARTIN: This seems logical to me.
MRS. MARTIN: I think so too.
FIRE CHIEF: Life is very simple, really.
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Well, then! [He coughs again in a voice shaken by emotion:] "The Dog and the Cow," an experimental fable. Once upon a time another cow asked another dog: "Why have you not swallowed your trunk?" "Pardon me," replied the dog, "it is because I thought that I was an elephant."
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Oh, charming! [He either kisses or does not kiss Mrs. Smith.]
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MRS. SMITH: We don't have the time, here.
FIRE CHIEF: But the clock?
MR. SMITH: It runs badly. It is contradictory, and always indicates the opposite of what the hour really is.
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MR. MARTIN: If that is the case...dear friends...these emotions are understandable, human, honorable...
MRS. MARTIN: All that is human is honorable.
MRS. SMITH: Even so, I don't like to see it... here among us...
MR. SMITH: She's not been properly brought up...
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The polypoids were burning in the wood
A stone caught fire
The castle caught fire
The forest caught fire
The men caught fire
The women caught fire
The birds caught fire
The fish caught fire
The water caught fire
The sky caught fire
The ashes caught fire
The smoke caught fire
The fire caught fire
Everything caught fire,
Caught fire, caught fire.
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MRS. MARTIN: Bazaar, Balzac, bazooka!
MR. MARTIN: Bizarre, beaux-arts, brassieres!
MRS. SMITH: A,e,i,o,u, a,e,i,o,u, a,e,i,o,u, i!
MRS. MARTIN: B, c, d, f g, 1, m, n, p, r, s, t, v, w, x, z!
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Fire Chief Character Timeline in The Bald Soprano
The timeline below shows where the character Fire Chief appears in The Bald Soprano. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
The Bald Soprano
...Mrs. Smith angrily tells Mr. Smith to answer it himself. When he does so, the Fire Chief is there, which Mr. Smith takes as proof of his victory in the debate. The...
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The Fire Chief reveals he’s come on official business: to look for fires in the house. The Smiths...
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The group convinces the shy Fire Chief to tell them some stories. He tells three short and nonsensical stories about barnyard animals....
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No one has followed the Fire Chief ’s last story, and all want to hear it again. He says he must leave...
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Mary enters and apologetically asks to share a story of her own. The Fire Chief recognizes her with surprise: it’s implied that they are former lovers. Mary calls herself his...
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Mary recites a poem in honor of the Fire Chief , called “The Fire.” The poem relates a series of men, animals and natural objects...
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