The Vanishing Half

by

Brit Bennett

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The Vanishing Half: Chapter 5 Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Reese’s name used to be Therese Anne Carter. When he first traveled to Los Angeles from Arkansas, he slowly changed his appearance and stopped using his old name. He cut his hair at a truck stop, started wrapping his chest, and began to wear different clothes. By the time he’d reached Los Angeles, he felt like he had really become Reese and left Therese behind. He also sought out steroids in Los Angeles, and though he managed to find them, he had to buy them illegally.
It now becomes clear that Reese is trans. There’s a certain parallel at play in the novel between his transition from female to male and Stella’s transition from Black to white, ultimately suggesting that it’s possible for people to take control of their own identity. Reese’s identity as a woman clearly never felt right to him, so he took action to create an identity that better fit who he is. The difference, of course, is that Stella doesn’t seem to develop a white identity because she thinks it’s a more accurate manifestation of who she is and how she feels as a person—rather, she presumably leans into her lightness because doing so gives her more opportunities to lead a comfortable, prosperous life in a racist society.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Jude starts going to a gym because Reese works there. In their free time, he shows her pictures he has taken and talks about becoming a professional photographer. She tries to imagine Reese as Therese, but she can’t—he’s just Reese. His identity as a trans person is new to her, but she doesn’t struggle to understand. She has always felt that it’s possible to be “two different people in one lifetime,” even if it has never been possible for her to change her own identity. She tried to lighten her skin while living in Mallard, following her grandmother’s home remedies, but it never did anything. When she tells Reese about trying to lighten her skin, he says he’s glad it didn’t work—she’s beautiful as she is.
The idea that it’s possible to be “two different people in one lifetime” resonates with Stella’s decision to embrace a white identity. At the same time, some might argue that transitioning from female to male doesn’t necessarily mean that a person has been “two different people in one lifetime”—rather, many would argue that trans people feel connected to a certain gender identity even before they transition, and that their transition is just a further confirmation of the person they’ve always been. But such things depend on the individual, as everyone has their own relationship with gender identity. Suffice it to say, Jude’s knowledge about Stella and how she took control of her own identity seems to have made it easier for Jude herself to understand and accept Reese’s identity as a trans man.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Quotes
Reese and Jude are extremely close, but they haven’t kissed yet. One day, Jude tells him about her first kiss. It was with a boy in Mallard who used to bully her. Even though he called her racist names and avoided her in public, he secretly had a crush on her, so they met up for a few weeks at night in the local horse stables. One night, Early caught them and dragged Jude away, telling her that she shouldn’t be sneaking around with boys—if she wanted a boyfriend, he should come to the house with dignity.
There’s an interesting reversal at play when Early tells Jude to have her secret lover come to the house. When Early himself was a teenager interested in Desiree, he came to her door and stood on the porch whenever he wanted to see her—he didn’t hide out as if their affair were inappropriate. And yet, because he’s dark-skinned, Adele sent him away, refusing to let her daughter get close to him. Jude’s secret lover, on the other hand, is light-skinned, whereas she’s dark-skinned. As a result, he only wanted to see her in secret, apparently feeling the same way about her skin color as Adele felt about Early’s. But Early didn’t let Jude open herself up to that kind of degradation simply because she has dark skin; if her admirer wanted to see her, he would have to get over his colorist prejudices. Otherwise, Early implied to Jude, the young man didn’t deserve to be with her.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon
In Los Angeles, Jude becomes acquainted with Reese’s friends. She grows especially close with Barry, a high school chemistry teacher who performs at drag shows under the stage name Bianca. Barry is good friends with Reese and doesn’t understand why Jude and Reese haven’t hooked up yet. One evening while doing his makeup backstage at the Mirage, where he often performs, Barry points out to Jude that she and Reese clearly like each other. Jude ignores him, not wanting to admit that she and Reese obviously have feelings for each other.
In many ways, The Vanishing Half is a coming-of-age story. It’s easy to lose sight of this element, since the novel is full of so many bigger ideas about race, gender, and identity in general. But as Jude develops a relationship with Reese, there’s a growing emphasis on her entry into the adult world of true love and companionship. What’s more, the connections she makes with Reese’s friends—like Barry—help her ease into adulthood, finally allowing her to feel like people support her and accept her for who she is.
Themes
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon
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The summer after her first year in college, Jude moves off campus to live with Reese. She doesn’t want to go home to Mallard for the summer, so moving in with Reese feels like a better option, though they still haven’t acted on their feelings for each other. They slow dance together at the Mirage one night, holding each other close and feeling connected. But then the song ends and the lights come on, so they let go of each other.
Again, Jude is slowly learning how to navigate adult relationships. Unlike her secret tryst with the light-skinned young man in Mallard, her burgeoning relationship with Reese is straightforward and real—but that doesn’t make it any easier for her to embrace her feelings for him in a public way, suggesting that she’s not used to accepting such intimate and genuine companionship.
Themes
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon
On another night, Jude comes home and is surprised to see Reese standing shirtless in the bathroom. His torso is covered in bruises around the bandages he wears on his chest. Without thinking, Jude asks what happened, but Reese quickly puts his shirt on and tries to dismiss her question. She soon realizes that the bandages he wears dig into his body and create painful bruises, so she tells him that he should take the bandages off—she doesn’t care what he looks like at home, so he should feel free to avoid the bandages when she’s around. Reese tells her in an angry voice that the bandages aren’t for her, and then he slams the bathroom door.
Reese wraps his chest with a bandage to make it look flat. Although this might sound like a simple way of achieving a body shape that other people perceive as male, chest binding can also be painful, as the bandages can dig into the body, which is what has happened to Reese. Jude’s initial reaction is to empathize with Reese’s pain, but what she fails to see is that he’d rather her focus on how it important it is for him to have a male-coded body. When she suggests that he doesn’t have to bind his chest for her, he makes it very clear that he doesn’t do it for her—he wraps his chest for himself because it affirms his gender identity.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon
Quotes
Jude rushes out of the apartment and goes to Barry’s house. Reese has never raised his voice at her, but she remembers the way her father used to yell at her mother, so she wants to distance herself from this angry version of Reese. Eventually, Reese turns up outside Barry’s late in the night. He’s drunk, but he admits that he shouldn’t have lost his temper like that. He would never hurt her, he says, but he still shouldn’t have yelled. He also says that he learned about a doctor who will perform surgery on his chest. It’s extremely expensive, but he’s saving up. Jude apologizes for acting like she’s somebody special in Reese’s life—somebody he has to please. But she is special, he says, and then they kiss. 
When Reese responds so angrily to Jude, he accidentally triggers her traumatic memories of Sam and his abusive ways. He just wanted to clarify that he binds his chest for himself, but he seems to recognize when he apologizes to Jude that she was only trying to be empathetic—even if she miscalculated. Their ability to make up with one another after this episode suggests that they have a healthy relationship based on mutual support and understanding.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon
At a party the next night, the electricity goes out. As everyone feels their way through the apartment for flashlights, Reese finds Jude in the bathroom. They haven’t spoken since their kiss, and Jude assumes that Reese doesn’t want to talk about it—she thinks he doesn’t like her. She’s therefore surprised when he kisses her again as she leans against the bathroom sink. They go back to Reese’s apartment and sleep together for the first time, and though Jude loves being with Reese in this way, she realizes once she’s naked that Reese himself is still fully clothed. 
Jude is surprised that Reese doesn’t take off his clothing, since she knows that getting naked is something lovers normally do when they become physically intimate. But his reasons for staying clothed make a lot of sense. Because he hasn’t had gender-affirming surgery, his body in and of itself doesn’t align with the way he sees himself. As such, his clothing actually goes a long way in helping him feel grounded in his identity, since dressing in certain ways makes it easier for him to present himself in a masculine way. Therefore, leaving his clothes on during sex with Jude isn’t necessarily a sign that he’s unwilling to be intimate and vulnerable—it’s simply a way for him to feel more like his authentic self while making love to Jude.
Themes
Race and Identity Theme Icon
Companionship, Support, and Independence Theme Icon