Family and Grief Theme Analysis

Ten-year-old Hà is the youngest child in a close-knit family. She has three older brothers, Brother Khôi, Brother Vū, and Brother Quang, and they all adore Mother. Father, however, has been missing in action for the last nine years, and nobody knows if he’s deceased, captured, or living at his ancestral home in North Vietnam (Hà and the rest of her family live in South Vietnam, which has a closed border with North Vietnam). Inside Out and Back Again presents Hà’s family as unified and emotionally supportive to one another as they flee South Vietnam on a ship to escape the approaching Communist army from North Vietnam. For instance, Brother Vū protects his family members and keeps everyone together as panicked people rush around the port. Later, Hà and Brother Quan support Brother Khôi when his beloved chick dies on the ship. And once the family settles in Alabama, Brother Vū frightens away the bully Pink Boy when Pink Boy tries to hurt Hà. Hà’s family members are the only people she’s certain she can rely on for help, as they’re all going through similar struggles.

However, Father’s absence casts a huge shadow over Hà’s family. Mother is often sad or worried, in part because she doesn’t know if she should be grieving for her lost husband or hoping for his return. Mother’s sadness, and living in a constant state of not knowing what happened to Father, cause Hà and her siblings to tiptoe around Mother and stay extremely attuned to her emotional state. So, when Mother loses the amethyst ring that Father gave her, it’s both traumatic and somewhat comforting—she interprets this as a sign that Father is gone, and that she and her children can grieve for him and move on. Following a ceremony in which the family prays for Father’s easy passage to the afterlife, Hà and her siblings are able to look forward to their futures in the U.S. with more optimism than they ever had before—suggesting that their grief was holding them back. Letting Father go allows Mother in particular to focus her attention more fully on her children and her family as it is in the present. The novel thus suggests that living family members should take precedence in people’s minds and actions, and that letting go is an important part of the grieving and healing process.