Before We Were Yours

Miss Dodd unlocks the basement door and cheerfully greets Rill, Lark, and Fern. Miss Dodd is a new worker and is nicer than the others, so Rill hopes Miss Dodd might tell her where Camellia is. One of the older boys told Rill that he heard Mrs. Murphy tell Mr. Riggs that Camellia died in the closet, but Rill didn’t believe it. Rill hopes that Miss Dodd will tell her the truth. Miss Dodd can smell that Fern wet the bed again and Rill begs her not to tell anyone. To herself, Rill notes that it’s been four days since Gabion left with the couple and since Camellia was taken away, which means Lark and Fern are all that she has left, and Rill is terrified of them getting punished. Miss Dodd sees how scared Rill is and agrees not to tell anyone about the wet bed.

Rill worries that Miss Dodd—who has four little siblings to support—might get in trouble for hiding the mess, but likes that she can rely on Miss Dodd. On the way upstairs, Miss Dodd asks Mr. Riggs to mix up some cleaner so she can clean the bed. She tells him the basement isn’t a good place for the kids to be sleeping and he agrees. Miss Dodd tells him that he’s a good man and Rill realizes Miss Dodd doesn’t know anything about Riggs. Rill starts to wonder if Camellia really is dead and remembers the last thing Briny told her: “You watch over the babies, Rill.” She notes that even her name sounds strange now because everyone calls her May, and she wonders if “Rill” is on the river with her family or if she ever existed at all. Rill starts running and momentarily feels like herself again.

Rill runs around the yard until she hears Fern and Stevie screaming. She rescues them from an older boy who’s twisting Stevie’s arm and starts walking away with them. Suddenly Rill realizes that Lark is missing. She asks Fern where Lark is, and Stevie tells her a lady has her. Rill tells them to stay by the teeter-totter and then runs into the house just in time to see a couple step out with Lark. Just as Rill is about to come forward, Miss Dodd pulls her into the kitchen and tells her she must let Lark go with her new parents. Desperate to stop the adoption, Rill tells Miss Dodd everything about being kidnapped and life at the orphanage, including her fear that Camellia died in a closet. Miss Dodd is stunned and tells Rill to stay strong while she “make[s] this right.”

That night Fern is inconsolable and begs to see Lark. Rill loses patience with Fern and threatens to spank her, which terrifies Fern. Suddenly, Rill realizes what she’s doing, turns away, and pulls on her own hair until it hurts. To herself, Rill says she wants to feel a new kind of pain that can end instead of the pain she feels now that just goes on and on and is turning her into a new, unfamiliar person. Rill collapses on a cot and Fern silently sits next to her, patting her back until Rill falls asleep.

When Rill wakes up, she’s happy to see that Fern used the “slop pot” instead of wetting the bed and hurries to fix the cot. Mrs. Murphy appears and tells Rill she’s not going anywhere. Murphy grabs Rill by her hair and chastises her for telling lies about life in the orphanage and Mr. Riggs. Murphy tells her that Miss Dodd has been fired and her siblings will be taken by Tann because of what Rill said. Murphy says Rill needs “some time alone,” throws her to the floor, and grabs Fern. Murphy tells Rill that if she argues, Fern will be punished, and then locks Rill in the room. Rill waits all day, but nobody comes to feed her, nor does Fern come back. The next day Mrs. Pulnik brings water, but it’s three days before she gives Rill food.

Rill loses count of how many days she stays in the basement before Mrs. Pulnik brings her to Mrs. Murphy’s office. Pulnik throws Rill to the floor in front of Tann and Murphy. Tann tells Rill she is a “wretched, ungrateful little thing” for telling lies about Mr. Riggs. Tann asks Rill if she’s just looking for attention, but Rill doesn’t know how she’s supposed to answer and says both yes and no. Tann grabs Rill by the chin and asks if she’s “seen the error of [her] ways.” Rill nods and Tann says she should have thought about that before making up stories about her “fictitious sister.” Confused, Rill tries to make sense of this, but Tann tells Rill that they both know Camellia never existed—only four children were brought to the orphanage, and Rill is very grateful that so many of them have found homes.

Tann asks Rill if they understand each other and Rill nods even though she hates herself for it. She is desperate to find Fern and terrified of what will happen if she doesn’t agree. Tann leaves and Mrs. Murphy tells Rill that she needs to be grateful from now on. Rill agrees and asks if she can see Fern. Murphy tells Rill that Fern was adopted, but that Rill can go outside with the other kids. She also tells Mrs. Pulnik to give Rill a bath before moving her to the upstairs bedroom. Pulnik leads a stunned Rill outside where she sits on the porch for a while before crawling under a bush near the fence to be alone.

Rill falls asleep under the bush until someone on the other side of the fence touches her arm: it’s Silas. He explains how Briny was tricked into signing surrender papers for all the kids. Silas says they looked for them for weeks before Miss Dodd found them and told them where to find Rill and the others. Silas has been watching the house waiting to see them. Silas says Queenie and Briny are back at the Arcadia and strokes Rill’s hair while she cries and tries to explain what happened to the others. Silas says he can help Rill escape that night and Rill agrees, but during dinner someone tells her Fern’s adoptive parents are returning her because she keeps wetting the bed. Rill realizes she must delay her escape until she can bring Fern and Stevie, too.