Don’t Call Me Ishmael

Ishmael knows he said he was going to get revenge on Barry Bagsley, but seeing Mrs. Bagsley changed things. Ishmael finds that he can’t deal with how embarrassed and hurt she’d be if Ishmael went through with it. And he decides Miss Tarango doesn’t deserve to be let down. Everyone who came tonight would have their night ruined. But really, Ishmael can’t go through with it because of the look on Barry’s face. He knows he put it there, and he doesn’t want to be someone who makes people look like that. Even if they’re Barry Bagsley.

When Ishmael is done speaking, he takes his seat. He knows he made the right choice, but he also knows he didn’t help Bill. Barry will go back to torturing people once the Christmas holidays are over. Finally, Brother Jerome releases everyone. Miss Tarango asks Ishmael if he was okay up there. Ishmael insists he was using pauses for dramatic effect. She looks at Ishmael suspiciously but tells him and Razza to have a great holiday. Miss Tarango heads into the crowd.

Ignatius tells Ishmael, Razza, and Bill goodbye and leaves too. Then, Razza turns to Bill and asks what he’s doing over the holidays. Gloomily, Bill says he’ll hang out at home and maybe go to the movies. At Razza’s prodding, he says he has to see Star Warrior’s Quest—The Ultimate Evil. Razza deems the movie “sweet” and says he’d like to see The Ultimate Seagull, or Star Worrier’s Guest, too. He invites himself and Ishmael to join Bill on Tuesday.

Finally, Bill asks if Razza doesn’t hate “space stuff.” Acting stunned, Razza says he loves the whole franchise. When Bill suspiciously asks Razza which movie is his favorite, Razza says it’s Star Warrior’s Quest—Hot Space Chicks Get Naked. Bill asks if Razza really hasn’t seen the first two movies. He won’t understand what’s going on in the third if he doesn’t see the first two. Ishmael has seen the first two, so Razza says that, obviously, they have to have a Star Warrior’s Quest marathon this weekend. Razza throws his arm around Bill’s shoulder and leads him away so they can plan. Ishmael is shocked when he hears Bill laughing. Apparently, Razza was right: “The Razzman really [does] work in mysterious ways.”