Nineteen Minutes: Part 1, Chapter 9: One Month After Summary & Analysis

In a handwritten note, the writer explains that no kid admits to wanting to be popular, even if in reality they want it more than anything else in the world. They reflect on how strange it is to have your whole life be shaped by what other people think of you.

Diana reviews the logistics of the mass shooting yet another time, getting ready to give her statement. She wonders if the Houghtons ever expected Peter to do something monstrous when he grew up. Diana is shocked to see that one of the injured students is Alex Cormier’s daughter, and she assumes that Alex will recuse herself, as Alex couldn’t possibly be objective. Alex herself, meanwhile, stops at a temporary memorial created for the Sterling High victims on her way back from court. There is a cross for each victim, and when she gets to Matt’s cross she starts crying, looking at a picture of him and Josie together. She thinks about how close she came to losing Josie.

Someone had put a cross there for Peter, too, but people took it down. Alex reflects on the unlikely but true fact that someone out there considers Peter to be a “victim.” Lacy, meanwhile, has delivered three babies since the day of the shooting, but in each birth she managed to do something wrong. Lately, she can’t help but think that if she had never become a mother, her life would be better—“easier.” Today, she hears one of the patients refuse to be treated by her, because she doesn’t want her baby “delivered by a woman whose son is a murderer.” Although the OB nurse tries to defend her, Lacy immediately says it’s alright. 

Lacy wishes she had the opportunity to tell the world that she was just as shocked and horrified by Peter’s actions as they were. She feels that she “lost” her son and doesn’t know it is possible to still love the boy she knew while hating the person he’s become. At that moment Jordan approaches her, and she is embarrassed that he notices she’s crying. She asks him, “Why is it so easy for people to point a finger at someone else?’ Jordan explains that people crave scapegoats and struggle to actually believe in the idea of “innocent until proven guilty.”

Patrick is visiting Philip O’Shea, Ed McCabe’s partner. He asks Philip if Ed ever mentioned Peter, and Philip explains that Ed noticed that Peter struggled to fit in and he thought that Peter was wondering if he might be gay. However, Ed himself was sure that Peter was straight. When Jordan goes to see Peter that day, Peter is angry, but Jordan doesn’t have any patience for this. He asks how Peter learned how to make explosives, and Peter explains that instructions are easily available online. Peter says he’s started going to church because it allows him to leave his cell. It’s made him think about the souls of “the ten kids who died.” Jordan points out that this phrasing implied their deaths were natural, like Peter didn’t cause them. Peter indicates this is intentional.

Haley and John are still recovering from the injuries they sustained in the shooting, and with Matt, Courtney, and Maddie dead, Josie’s friend group only consists of Drew, Emma, and Brady. Right now, the four of them are watching a movie. Although it’s a dumb comedy, it makes Josie think about how it is possible to die at any moment, from any kind of freak event. Telling the others she needs “some air,” she gets up and goes outside. Drew follows her, and Josie pretends to be fine. Drew offers words of comfort and hugs her, and Josie replies, “I don’t think I can do this.” When Drew replies that he still thinks she belongs to Matt, Josie pretends that that is what she originally meant, too. 

When Peter was a child, his parents sent him to sleepaway camp. Although Joey loved this camp, Peter immediately called and begged to be taken home. Lewis and Lacy decided to make him stay the full two weeks, thinking it would build his confidence. When he returned, Peter no longer seemed like he could trust Lacy. Now, in prison, Lacy tries to bring up happy childhood memories, but Peter is sour in response. She then apologizes for not picking him up from camp, but he brushes it off. After snapping at Lacy, Peter apologizes and says he’s grateful that she comes to see him, unlike Lewis. Peter asks if she wishes he died instead of Joey; Lacy says no, but Peter says she’s lying.

Diana is shocked to learn that Alex is indeed sitting on the Houghton case, and she immediately goes to see her. Jordan is pleased to see Diana looking so flustered. When Diana asks Alex about her bias considering the fact that Josie was involved in the shooting, Alex calmly points out that there are thousands of students at Sterling High, and that many people working on the case in various capacities are parents of these students. When Alex asks if Diana is planning on calling Josie as a witness, Diana says she isn’t. Jordan thinks about the fact that Josie does seem to have a special connection to Peter and thus to the shooting. However, he doesn’t say anything.

At Mount Lebanon, Josie thinks about the future of the survivors of the shooting, imagining an article in People magazine entitled “Where Are They Now?” Drew strikes up a conversation with her and says that Peter isn’t “crazy.” He says he remembers looking into his eyes and seeing that everything he was doing was calculated. Josie replies that the jury will decide whether this is true or not, and Drew accuses her of defending Peter. However, they both quickly apologize, and the tension between them dissipates.

In court, four television cameras are set up, filming Alex reading the charges against Peter. When she reads the name of one of the people Peter killed, Grace Murtaugh, a woman screams, “Do you remember Grace?” She slams a framed photograph in front of Peter, shattering it. Peter doesn’t turn to look at her. Gently, Alex asks Grace’s mother to be quiet. Remembering that she needs to demonstrate her own lack of bias, Alex tells the bailiffs to remove her. She then asks Jordan to make Peter show his hand, revealing a shard of glass from the frame. Embarrassed, Jordan thanks Alex, who finishes reading out the charges. Jordan then announces that Peter is claiming not guilty to all of them. 

Alex tells her secretary to clear her schedule for two hours and she drives straight to Mount Lebanon, where she asks the school secretary to pull Josie out of class, claiming it is for an orthodontist appointment. When Josie gets in the car, she skeptically asks Alex why she is there. Eventually, Alex confesses that after seeing bereaved parents in the courtroom, she felt an urgent need to see Josie. As she speaks, she starts to feel self-conscious and regrets being so emotionally vulnerable. Alex then says that she wanted to check that Josie was alright with her presiding over the case, and to emphasize that Josie should still feel free to talk to Alex about anything to do with the shooting.

Josie asks about Peter, wanting to know how he looks and if he will be given a life sentence. Josie then asks if he will be allowed to talk to people on the outside, indicating that she might want to talk to him herself. Concerned, Alex tells Josie that there are other people looking after Peter. Josie requests that they drive back to school. At 2 A.M., Jordan and Selena are up with Sam, and—to Selena’s annoyance—Jordan is once again talking about the case. Jordan expresses concern about Alex’s impartiality, but Selena says it would be better for him to do nothing and wait for Diana to request that she be removed from the case.

Peter is slowly becoming accustomed to the dull brutality of life in jail. He has even started exercising, even though he hates it, because he doesn’t want others to perceive him as weak. However, he no longer goes outside during exercise hour, because the smell of fresh air is too painful. Today, a correctional officer delivers Peter’s mail. One letter is from his mother, who writes to him three or four times a week but never says anything particularly consequential. The other is from someone called Elena Battista, whom he has never heard of before.

Elena writes that she feels connected to Peter because she was also bullied in high school, and she is now writing her undergraduate thesis on the effects of bullying. She says she wishes they’d known each other when she was in school. Violating Jordan’s advice that Peter shouldn’t communicate with anybody, he decides to write back. Selena, meanwhile, goes to speak to Arthur McAllistar. She asks him about the school’s bullying policy, and he explains, “We’re completely on top of it.” Yet he adds that when the administration intervenes in bullying, it usually makes it worse for the victim. He claims that the reasons behind the shooting have been misconstrued, and that prior to it happening, Peter got into trouble twice for fighting in the halls.

While defending an abused women who murdered her partner, Jordan called upon a forensic psychiatrist named Dr. King Wah, who specializes in battered woman syndrome. Now, at King’s office in Boston, he is told that King is booked up for the next six months. Jordan claims to be King’s adopted brother, and his secretary skeptically buzzes him in. King greets him warmly, joking, “how’s Mom doing?” When Jordan initially asks King to evaluate his client, King reiterates that he is booked for six months. But after Jordan gives details, King is intrigued and suggests they get lunch.

Patrick has called Josie to the police station to ask her “a few more questions.” Josie is nervous, and Alex immediately tells Patrick that Josie doesn’t remember anything. However, Patrick says he needs to talk to Josie himself, promising that it won’t take long. Josie panics when she realizes that Alex won’t be accompanying her. Patrick makes her a cup of coffee, then leads her into a conference room. After announcing that he’ll record their conversation, he notes that Josie has the same eyes as Alex, although Josie notes that they are a different color. When Patrick asks her, Josie tries to remember what happened in the locker room on the day of the shooting. She can’t remember anything but the color red—the red of “anger” and “blood.”

When Josie emerges from her conversation with Patrick in tears, Alex feels furious. Yet when Alex tries to comfort her daughter, Josie snaps, “None of you understand.” To their surprise, Patrick has followed them out of the police station, offering a sweater that Josie left behind. He puts an arm on Josie’s shoulder and promises that everything will be alright. Josie nods, and Alex is surprised to see her looking calmer. She wishes that she’d been able to reassure Josie herself.

The narrator lists the similarities between Peter and Derek, while also pointing out the major difference: that Derek never killed anyone. Selena is interviewing Derek at his house, while his mother, Dee Dee, watches “like a hawk.” Derek is distraught, wondering if everything is his fault because he heard the clues that Peter was planning an act of violence and never did anything about it. During the interview, Derek mentions Peter’s former friendship with Josie. Immediately, Selena excuses herself, calls Jordan, and tells him that Peter and Josie were once best friends.

When Elena comes to visit Peter in prison, he is pleasantly surprised to see that she is “hot.” He fantasizes about them getting married. She gets out a notepad, explaining that while she was being bullied as a teenager, she used to fantasize about suicide. She asks Peter about the kinds of things his tormenters subjected him to, then asks if Peter intended to kill them. Peter smiles, hoping to look “seductive,” and tells her, “Let’s just say it need to stop.” Weeks later, Jordan is at the dentist, flipping through magazines in the waiting room. He finds an article about Peter with the headline “Inside the Mind of a Killer” and he is so horrified that he immediately leaves the dentist’s office, bringing the magazine with him.

Jordan goes straight to the prison and immediately demands to see Peter, whom he yells at for talking to the press. Peter explains that Elena was his “friend,” but Jordan replies, “You don’t get to have any friends.” Jordan calms down, asking Peter more gently to tell him if anyone contacts him in the future. A silence settles between them. Eventually, Jordan strikes up a conversation about computer games. Meanwhile, Alex’s secretary informs her that Diana is requesting that Alex recuse herself from the case. Alex is horrified; it would have been alright to recuse herself at the beginning of the case, but doing so now would have a seriously negative impact on her reputation. However, she feels like she has no choice but to go ahead with the hearing Diana has requested.

As Alex opens the fire door to go outside for a cigarette, it accidentally hits Patrick. She asks him, “off the record,” if Josie seemed okay when Patrick interviewed her. Patrick replies that, “off the record,” he once investigated a case involving the son of a woman he loved. He learned the hard way that, although he’d convinced himself he would be the best person for the job, the opposite was actually true. This is because when someone you love is directly impacted by a case, it no longer becomes work but “revenge.”

Lewis has been telling Lacy that he is visiting Peter in jail, and now that she knows this is not true, she decides to follow him. She watches him go into a flower shop, and wonders, horrified, if he’s having an affair. Lewis then drives to the cemetery, with Lacy still following. It is raining hard. Lacy watches as he lays flowers at the graves of each of the people Peter murdered. He tells Lacy he knows she’s there, and she replies with anger that Lewis is coming here but not visiting his own son in jail. Lewis explains that he feels that, because he took Peter hunting, he might be responsible for the murders. He breaks down, and Lacy embraces him. She feels a horrifying sense of guilt for her sons’ fates.   

Lacy says that Peter needs them, but Lewis says he can’t go to see him. He thinks about the burning rage and desire for vengeance he feels against the drunk driver who killed Joey, and he feels too much sympathy for the parents who feel that way about Peter. Meanwhile, Jordan is meeting King after his interview with Peter. King immediately announces that Jordan’s strategy of using battered woman syndrome will work, as there are substantial similarities between Peter’s mindset and that of an abused woman. King also notes that “a single incident of bullying in childhood can be as traumatic to a person, over time, as a single incident of sexual abuse.” Furthermore, almost everyone can relate to being bullied, because everyone has experienced it.

Alex is looking for a skirt Josie borrowed and never returned. While searching Josie’s closet, she’s found a “trove of treasures,” mementoes from across Josie’s life. On Wednesday night, Patrick is at the Golden Dragon, waiting for his usual takeout order when he spots a woman alone at the bar. He tries to buy her a drink, and she turns around and he realizes that it’s Alex. She says they shouldn’t even be seen talking to each other. Patrick mentions that he doesn’t have kids, and Alex asks if he was ever married. He tries to avoid the subject, but eventually admits the woman he was in love with was already married to someone else. Alex says the same was true for her.

Suddenly, an older man who has “lawyer written all over him” approaches them, greeting Alex and introducing himself to Patrick as Whit Hobart. He feels horrified that this is who Alex is dating, even though he knows it’s none of his business, and he leaves in a bad mood. Meanwhile, Jordan and Selena are watching the evening news, which has a report about the hearing which will determine whether Alex will stay on the case. Suddenly, Jordan decides that he will use Josie as a witness, which will both provide crucial support for Peter and force Alex to step down. Selena applauds his brilliance, and Jordan suggests they have sex. However, Selena ruins the vibe by asking if he feels anxious about their kids. 

Alex goes into court, preparing to recuse herself from the case. However, she then sees a note on her desk saying that Jordan is planning on calling Josie as witness. Alex is furious, desperate to protect her daughter from the pain this would cause. Meanwhile, Patrick overhears that an officer is planning to go to the courthouse and offers to drive them, because he wants an excuse to see Alex. When he gets there, he finds her sitting in her car and crying. He walks up to her and asks if she’s okay, offering to buy her coffee. Although Alex is resistant, she eventually relents. They go to the Golden Dragon.

Alex confesses that she sometimes struggles with the expectation that, as a judge, she should always be perfect. Patrick offers words of support, saying everyone experiences similar struggles and that Alex shouldn’t be afraid of being “human.” Alex also confesses that she’s worried about Josie being traumatized by being called as a witness, and she doesn’t know how to support her. While they are talking, Alex notices Patrick’s kindness, but she is also suspicious of it. Later, Alex goes to Jordan’s house, where he had been playing with Sam. Alex greets Sam warmly, but then turns to Jordan more sternly and asks if he called Josie as a witness on purpose, in order to get her removed from the case. Jordan refuses to answer.

The narrative is interrupted by a quote about popularity taken from the handwritten section preceding this chapter; the implication is that Josie has written it in her notebook. There is a knock on Josie’s bedroom door; it’s Alex, who announces that she has recused herself from the case, then tells Josie she might be called as a witness. Josie instantly becomes upset and tries to make Alex promise she’ll stop her from being called, and Alex indicates she’ll try. After Alex leaves, Josie lies on her bed and murmurs Matt’s name.

On Peter’s birthday, a correctional officer brings him a “present”—a new cellmate. it is a young man, with the “glassy-eyed, gum-lipped look of a special-needs kid.” The kid asks if Peter has a dog, and Peter immediately grabs the kid’s glasses and stamps on them, causing him to shriek. Peter is immediately handcuffed. Contemplating the punishment that will inevitably follow, Peter wonders if he himself believes in Jordan’s “bullied victim syndrome” argument. He wishes he could kill himself quickly rather than spending the rest of his life in prison.

On Saturday morning, Alex goes back to Jordan’s house, this time with Josie in tow. She suggests that Jordan could ask Josie the questions he wants to know now. Jordan is resistant. When Selena joins them, Alex implores that she has come to them not as a judge, but as a parent, and Selena suggests they invite Alex in for coffee. Jordan questions Josie about her friendship with Peter. When he asks what Peter’s relationship with Matt was like, Josie begins to cry. At this point, Alex suggests that Josie go wait in the other room. She then addresses Jordan “parent to parent,” promising she can get an affidavit signed by Josie that officially states she doesn’t remember anything. Mindful that his main goal was always getting Alex’s recusal, Jordan agrees.

Now that Alex is home all day, she and Josie have started cooking together. At first Josie did this simply because Alex’s culinary skills were scarily bad, but now she finds herself enjoying the time they spend together. The doorbell rings unexpectedly, and when Josie goes to answer it, she panics at the sight of Patrick. However, to her surprise he is holding a bottle of wine—and to her even greater surprise, she notices that Alex is “blushing.” Josie immediately runs up to her room, saying she needs to do homework. She turns the music up loud and thinks about when Matt used to come over while her mother went upstairs to give them privacy.

Downstairs, Alex and Patrick initially speak in a warm, flirtatious manner. However, Alex asks Patrick to describe the state Josie was in when he found her on the day of the shooting. He describes seeing her lying with Matt in a pile of blood, and the euphoric feeling he had when he noticed her move. Alex calls him a “hero,” but Patrick brushes this off. He kisses her, and after a moment of hesitation, she kisses him back.