The Pigman

John narrates this chapter. John arranges for him and Lorraine to go to Mr. Pignati’s house to pick up his donation. When the day comes, Lorraine doesn’t want to go through with it—she thinks it’s wrong to take money from an old man. John insists that they’re just “artists” who need “a patron,” but Lorraine refuses to play along.

John goes home and asks for some money—he needs cash to pay for a six-pack—but John’s mom angrily says he can’t have any money until John’s father speaks to him. She asks John why he can’t be good, like Kenneth (Kenneth is John’s older brother who works on Wall Street). When John repeatedly asks why his mom is angry, she says it’s because he put glue on the telephone lock (John’s dad placed the lock there to punish John for using the phone too much). John insists he’s innocent and that the ghost of Aunt Ahra did it. John’s mom doesn’t buy it. John blames most things on Aunt Ahra, who died in their house when she was 82.

Not wanting to confront Bore (John’s nickname for his dad), John uses a hack to dial the operator on the phone and puts through a call to Lorraine. He rings once and then hangs up—their secret signal for meeting up. A bit later, Lorraine walks up to John at their usual corner; she berates him for smoking. John ignores her and says it’s time to collect Mr. Pignati’s $10. Lorraine angrily disagrees—Mr. Pignati sounded so lonely. John says this is exactly the reason they should visit him. Then he suggests that Mr. Pignati is suicidal, which Lorraine should know from all the books she reads. Eventually, John wears Lorraine down, and the two of them make their way to Mr. Pignati’s house.

They arrive at Mr. Pignati’s house and find that it’s “a phenomenal dump.” Lorraine wonders if he doesn’t have much money. Or maybe, she suggests, he’s “a sex maniac.” They ring the doorbell anyway. Mr. Pignati comes to the door. He’s a larger man in his late 50s. He has a wide grin on his face as he answers the door. He asks John and Lorraine if they’re from the charity, totally unfazed to see that they’re kids. They follow him inside.

Mr. Pignati’s house is filled with junk, but it has a nice, welcoming smell to it. Mr. Pignati asks them to sit down on the couch and offers them some homemade wine. John accepts, though Lorraine seems apprehensive—but in reality, John is terrified too. When Mr. Pignati leaves to get the wine, they both turn to each other, terrified. What if Mr. Pignati comes back from the kitchen with a knife and tries to murder them?

Mr. Pignati returns moments later holding three glasses of wine. He tells John and Lorraine that he just got back from the zoo. He used to go there with his wife, but she’s in California visiting her sister. That’s why his house is so cluttered—when she’s here, she makes him clean up. Mr. Pignati tells the teens that he’s a retired electrician. Lorraine, speaking in the English accent she used on her initial phone call with Mr. Pignati, asks how long his wife has been in California. Mr. Pignati says about a month—and as he does, he looks like he’s about to cry.

Changing the subject, Mr. Pignati tells Lorraine and John about a game he plays where he tries to memorize 10 items. He asks them to play it with him, urging them to each give him an item. Lorraine says “Girl.” John says “Couch.” They go on like this until they have 10 items. Then Mr. Pignati repeats the items back to them. As he does, beaming, John thinks the old man looks like a big, stupid baby. John gets even more annoyed when Mr. Pignati takes a piece of paper and shows them how he made a mental picture to remember all the objects. Lorraine tries the trick, but it doesn’t work for her—maybe because she’s already finished her glass of wine.

Mr. Pignati suddenly suggests that they all go to the zoo tomorrow. John, trying to sound impatient, tells Mr. Pignati that they have lots of other stops to make and that they need to get going. Mr. Pignati apologizes and runs to write a check, looking as though he’s about to cry. Lorraine is horrified, and even John feels a little bad.

When Mr. Pignati returns, check in hand, he starts talking about the zoo again. He tells the teens that he loves animals and gets up to show them his pig collection, pointing toward the ridiculously vast collection of clay, porcelain, and glass pigs that cover nearly every surface. John is appalled. Lorraine reaches out her hand toward the pigs, and Mr. Pignati excitedly tells her she can pick one up. The teens investigate the pigs more closely and find that they’re from places all over the world—Japan, Austria, Germany. They’re all kinds of colors, too. Mr. Pignati explains that his wife has collected pigs ever since he bought her her first pig. “Pig. Pignati. Do you get it?” he asks the teens. They do.