The Pigman

Lorraine narrates this chapter. John tells Lorraine about the funeral bill, and a chill runs down her spine—she’d suspected that Conchetta might not really be on vacation, since Mr. Pignati looks like he’s about to cry every time he mentions her. Just then, Mr. Pignati returns with more wine. He tells them a joke about a know-it-all wife, but Lorraine can’t bring herself to laugh—she can’t stop thinking about the little girl in the picture who had grown up, gotten married, and was already dead. Lorraine thinks about old married couples who die only months apart; she imagines “the love between a man and a woman must be the strongest thing in the world.” But then she thinks about her parents and changes her mind.

Lorraine returns home that night and thinks about everything Mr. Pignati and Conchetta must have shared together. They must have prepared meals together. Lorraine has heard that good food makes good conversation, and she figures this is why she and Lorraine’s mother don’t get along—all they eat is canned soup and instant coffee.

The next morning, Lorraine’s mother grumbles about her current patient, an old man who’s dying but is pretty handsy. Lorraine offers to make her mother eggs, but Lorraine’s mother says she’ll just eat at the patient’s house—the man’s wife is being extra nice to her, since it’s been hard to keep a nurse around for long. Before leaving, Lorraine’s mother tells her to clean the floor and not to open the door for anyone.

Lorraine watches Lorraine’s mother waiting at the bus stop and thinks about how hard her mother has said it is to be a nurse—how you get varicose veins from being on your feet all day. Looking at her mother now, Lorraine can see how hard her mother’s life is, and it’s easy to feel sorry for her. Still, Lorraine’s mother picks on her all the time, and Lorraine often cries herself to sleep. But lately, she’s been thinking about the Pigman, and it makes her feel better. Lorraine wishes her mom knew how to have fun like him.

Lorraine does some work around the house and then meets the Pigman and John at the Staten Island ferryhouse, where the Pigman said he’d meet them after he went to the zoo to feed Bobo. John loves the ferryhouse, as it’s full of homeless people. John makes them tell their whole life story before he gives them a nickel. Once, they met a homeless man who said people called him Dixie, because he was from the south. He said he used to be a college professor but then took LSD and “lost his power of concentration,” and that ended his career. Lorraine felt inspired to write a story about the man, but John said not to bother—the same man had come up to him another time and said his name was “Confederate” and told a totally different story.

Mr. Pignati arrives, and he, John, and Lorraine catch the 11:45 ferry to Manhattan. Lorraine decided she had to go on this trip to Beekman’s because if she didn’t, John would charge half the store. It’s not that John would do this to be mean, it’s just that he’s not used to people giving him stuff the way Mr. Pignati does. The ferry docks, and the three of them walk to Beekman’s. On the way there, Lorraine sees another woman: a woman talking to herself about God, and how God told her “death is coming.” Lorraine thinks it’s funny that now, talking to God makes people think you’re crazy—but before, they’d call you a prophet.

Lorraine, John, and Mr. Pignati arrive at Beekman’s and go to the fancy-food section. Mr. Pignati happily tells the teens they’ve got to try the frogs’ legs with ricotta cheese, and Lorraine wants to vomit. He gets some bean soup, bamboo shoots, and other things that Lorraine finds disgusting. John, ever trying to be zany, picks out a carton of tiger milk and some chocolate-covered ants. Mr. Pignati is more than happy to pay. Lorraine looks at a can of Love’n Nuts and a box of Jamboree Juicy Jellies. Mr. Pignati, noticing, grabs the packages and places them in his cart. Lorraine insists that he doesn’t have to spend money on them, but Mr. Pignati brushes this off. Lorraine feels uncomfortable; nobody has ever bought her stuff she wants before. 

As they pass through the women’s underwear section to get to the toy section, a saleswoman mistakenly calls Lorraine Mr. Pignati’s daughter. Lorraine quickly corrects her, then when Mr. Pignati’s face falls, Lorraine stammers that she’s actually Mr. Pignati’s niece, which seems to cheer him up. The woman asks if she’s interested in some nylon stockings. Lorraine tries to say no, but Mr. Pignati insists. Finally, Lorraine says yes and asks for a pair that’s clearly too big for her. Lorraine wonders what lie she’ll make up when Lorraine’s mother asks how Lorraine managed to buy her the stockings. 

After they check out the toy department, Mr. Pignati asks if they can go to the pet shop. John groans, but Lorraine says yes. There, they find a tank full of piranhas and a cage of monkeys. “My little Bobo,” Mr. Pignati says to one of the monkeys. The three monkeys look terrified and cling tightly to one another. Watching them makes Lorraine smile. They look so lonely. John suggests Lorraine offer them some of her snacks. She agrees, and John hands some of the nuts to Mr. Pignati. But then a “nasty floorwalker” yells at them not to feed the monkeys. When John asks why, the floorwalker says, “Because I told you not to, that’s why.” Lorraine knows that John hates this—instead of giving a real explanation, the man just wanted to boss a kid around. 

They go to the sports department next. There, Mr. Pignati buys roller skates for the three of them, explaining to the teens that he used to love roller skating when he was younger. Lorraine wants to tell the old man not to waste his money, but she decides it’s better to let him have fun if he wants. John tells the salesman that they’ll all wear their skates out—even though they’re on the fifth floor. Lorraine tries to protest, calling him “crazy.” The minute she says it, she can tell that if she doesn’t go along with John’s plan, he’ll be disappointed—that she goes along with his crazy antics is the thing he likes best about her. So Lorraine sighs and agrees to wear her skates out of the store. As the three of them skate out together, Lorraine imagines they look like three silly monkeys.

The chapter transitions into a letter written to an advice column called Dear Alice. The writer, a mother, explains that she’s worried about her young son who loves playing with a doll she bought him for Christmas. The woman’s husband hates it, and other adults have been making mean comments about it too—but the woman sees nothing wrong with it. Why can a little girl play “Cowboys and Indians” and people laugh and say she’s a “tomboy,” but when a little boy plays with a doll people “say he’s queer?” asks the woman.