Beautiful Boy

As David drives to the rehab center, Nic tries to talk him out of it. He says that he’ll try to run away. He screams, “You fucking think you know me? You don’t know anything about me. You have always tried to control me.” When Nic’s words start to slur, David realizes that he is still high. David starts to think that Nic is like a stranger to him.

At the rehab center, Nic meets with a counselor, seething. After an hour, the counselor asks to speak to David. She tells him that Nic could die from the drugs he’s using, and that he doesn’t understand that he’s in trouble. She says it’s typical of addicts to be in denial and to think that they can stop whenever they want, even if they wind up in jail or the hospital. The counselor gives David recommendations for other programs, explaining that Nic is too resistant and nearly too old for this program.

David calls more rehab programs and finds one named Ohlhoff Recovery in San Francisco. Nic agrees to go for an evaluation. He has a session with the program director, and then David joins them. The director says that Nic is in denial that he is an addict, and that he’s only there because David is forcing him. She says that this is okay, that Nic has as much of a chance of recovery as someone who wants to be treated. The director says that she will check him in in the morning for the 28-day treatment.

The next morning, when David drops Nic off, Nic is terrified and trembling. David hugs him and leaves. David is guilty, thinking that he has betrayed and abandoned Nic, but he is comforted by the fact that he knows where Nic is. At home, David looks through Nic’s room and throws away Nic’s hidden drug paraphernalia: a glass bong, hand-blown meth pipe, cigarette papers, and empty bottles.

David and Karen make an appointment with a local specialist in drug addiction. They explain to him that they worry whether they have made the right choices in getting Nic into rehab and worry about Jasper and Daisy. The doctor is supportive of their decision to get Nic into rehab, but his major advice is to take care of themselves, because addiction can destroy families. The therapist also suggests that they go to Al-Anon meetings.

On Nic’s third day at Ohlhoff, he calls, begging to come home. David refuses. The counselor from Ohlhoff reports that Nic is depressed and confrontational but explains that this is normal. David worries that Nic might run away from the program. When he sees the specialist again, the doctor emphasizes that the most difficult thing about having a child addicted to drugs is that parents cannot control it. He says, “You can support his recovery, but you can’t do it for him.” He also introduces David to Al-Anon’s “Three C’s”: he didn’t cause it, he can’t control it, and he can’t cure it.

A person whom David interviews for work is a recovering drug addict. When David tells him that his own son is in rehab, the man says, “he’s in God’s hands.” David is startled, saying that he never believed in God, but that he wishes he did. The man assures him that he will come to believe in God before this ordeal is over.

David calls the counselor at Ohlhoff again. She says that it has been difficult for Nic, as meth is a particularly tricky addiction to treat. David frequently hears that meth is worse than other drugs. It depletes the brain’s dopamine, meaning that recreating the initial high is often impossible. This impels users to take more of the drug, causing more brain damage, which increases the need to use in a cycle.

David meets with Dr. Edythe London at UCLA to find more about the brain on meth. She conducted studies of brain scans, comparing average brains to those with meth users. Meth addicts are often depressed, argumentative, and anxious—and London’s studies indicated that these conditions have a biological basis. She concluded that relapsing isn’t a failure of morality or willpower—rather, it may be the result of a damaged brain.

After a month of abstinence, the depressive symptoms and pain following meth withdrawal are less severe but far from normal. This is why most programs do not succeed, because they only last several days or a week. London tells David that the images also suggest cognitive impairments to various areas of the brain, including those related to decision-making.

David finds another study by Stephen Kish, who studied the brains of those who had died from meth overdose or had a high level of meth in their systems when they died. He found that neurons in the brain are destroyed by meth. Kish also found that the levels of some neurotransmitters were 90 to 95 percent lower than a normal brain. His research did show, however, that the brains of meth addicts can probably recover, as long as addicts stay off the drug.

Karen and David join Nic for group sessions at Ohlhoff. They hear the stories of other addicts and the family members of those addicts. At the third week’s family session, Nic confesses that he would rather work and be independent than return to college. David is surprised: he still doesn’t believe that Nic’s problems are that bad. Rehab is necessary, he thinks, but he believes that Nic is just postponing college and will go back at some point.

A week later, Nic says that he realizes he needs more time in rehab, and he asks to move into the program’s halfway house. David agrees, and at the end of the 28 days, Nic moves into the halfway house. Three days later, however, Nic has vanished once more.