Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Becoming, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Optimism, Growth, and Fulfillment
Community, Investment, and Hard Work
Race, Gender, and Politics
Marriage, Parenthood, and Work
Power, Privilege, and Responsibility
Summary
Analysis
Motherhood becomes Michelle’s motivator. She becomes completely consumed by taking care of Malia, as does Barack. They are, she writes, “obsessive and a little boring.” Several months after Malia is born, she returns to work at her job part-time, finding a baby-sitter named Glorina Casabal.
In this chapter, Michelle starts to more fully understand the compromises she will have to make between work and being a mother, as she learns what kind of balance feels most fulfilling to her.
Themes
Michelle realizes quickly that a part-time job, as a scaled down version of a previously full-time job, is often a trap. She grapples with the same responsibilities, but has to fit them into a twenty-hour work week and with half the salary. She feels as if she is “only half doing everything,” not spending enough time at work nor enough time with Malia. Barack, on the other hand, hardly misses a stride. He is reelected to a four-year term in the state senate. He also decides to run for Congress.
Michelle tries to find a balance between her work and home life that feels satisfying, but she hasn’t yet found the kind of compromise that works best for her. And once again, she feels the inherent inequality between her and Barack—that he can easily come and go from his job, and the burden is largely on her to make the sacrifices.
Themes
At the end of 1999, when Malia is about eighteen months, Michelle and Barack plan to travel to Hawaii over Christmas. But politics intervene: the state senate is hung up on a vote on a major crime bill, and Barack says they have to delay their trip a few days. When they get to Hawaii, the legislature still hasn’t found a resolution on the bill. But Michelle and Barack spend a nice Christmas with his grandmother.
Even though Barack feels the compromise between family and work less than Michelle does, this episode is a good demonstration of the fact that he has compromises that he needs to make, too—and at first, he largely compromises family time for his work.
Themes
A few days before the new year, Barack gets a call, saying that the senate is abruptly going back into session to finish work on the bill. Barack leaps into action, knowing that the vote is an important one, and Michelle understands that they have to go back. But then, overnight, Malia spikes a high fever, and Michelle knows that she can’t fly. After discussing different options, Barack calls his legislative aide and explains that he will miss the vote on the bill.
Even though Barack feels a political duty to his constituents, he recognizes the responsibility he owes to the health and safety of his daughter. This decision signifies the first major instance Michelle relays in which Barack makes the decision to put family over his political responsibility.
Themes
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Malia gets better after a few days’ rest and some antibiotics, but Barack’s campaign takes a beating for his absence (even though the vote was lost by five). Michelle notes that, although the news mentions Barack’s vacation in Hawaii, no one mentions that he’s from Hawaii, that he was visiting his grandmother, or that his daughter had fallen ill. Michelle is shocked by people’s easy questioning of his character.
Michelle recognizes some of the nastiness of political coverage early: that it only highlights the details that are convenient for its arguments. She also recognizes the hypocrisy of constituents wanting candidates who are part of loving families, while criticizing those same candidates for prioritizing their families.
Themes
Michelle is also surprised to see opponents try to target Barack by drumming up fear and mistrust amongst African American voters. One opponent calls Barack “the white man in blackface in our community”—arguing, in essence, that he is not part of the community. They call him elitist, which bothers Michelle because he exemplifies everything that parents on the South Side say they want for their kids. Barack takes it all in stride, but ends up losing the Democratic primary.
Barack and Michelle also become quickly familiar with the extra level of scrutiny that Barack experiences because of his race. He not only has critics who play on racist stereotypes, but he also faces criticism that he is not actually a member of the African American community. These two kinds of critics together work to place him outside of any group.
Themes
In 2001, Sasha is born, also as a result of IVF. Michelle’s hope for her two daughters is to grow up “bright and energetic, optimistic like their father and hard-driving like their mom.” After Sasha is born, Michelle debates whether to return to her job, or if it might be easier on the family’s finances, and on her stress level, if she simply stayed home.
Michelle’s attempts to balance her work and home life (and the financial implications that come with that balance) become so difficult that she wonders whether to give up on her career completely, reflecting how difficult it can be to be a working mother.
Themes
But then, Michelle gets a call—the president of the University of Chicago Medical Center is looking for an executive director for community affairs. Michelle knows it’s a great opportunity, but she had just talked herself into the idea that everyone is better off with her at home. Michelle relies on a set of friendships that she has made—professional women who juggle motherhood and work in many different ways. From seeing their various parenting methods, she sees that there is “no formula for motherhood.” She decides to interview for the hospital job.
Through her friends, Michelle understands that there is not one way to balance being a mother with being a working professional. She realizes more and more that her career is equally important to her, and that she would lose a deep sense of fulfillment if she gave it up altogether. And so, instead of giving up, she continues to evolve and find the kind of balance that is right for her.
Themes
Michelle goes to the interview with her goals in sight: a full time job and a competitive salary to be able to afford child care. And time with her daughters, which she emphasizes by bringing Sasha with her to the interview. The hospital president, Michael Riordan, seems to understand, and he offers her the job.
Michelle, just like when she was interviewing for Project Allies, proves the importance (and often the remarkable success) of standing up for oneself and one’s needs. She makes clear to her interviewer that she has children to balance with her work, and it is important for her to be fulfilled doing both things.
Themes
Life continues with a new rhythm: two kids, three jobs (Barack is teaching as well as legislating), two cars, one condo, and no free time. George W. Bush is president, and the country has just endured the tragedy of 9/11. At some point, Barack raises the idea of running for the Senate to Michelle. Michelle isn’t particularly pleased with this idea, as his schedule has been starting to grate on her.
As America endures a national tragedy, which would go on to spark a series of wars, Barack continues to have faith in his ability to make a difference in the country, despite his previous failed run for Congress—and despite the fact that Michelle already feels like Barack isn’t making enough time for their family.
Themes
Michelle becomes officially frustrated with Barack’s regularly arriving home so late, when Sasha and Malia’s eyes are already drooping, and with waiting alone for dinner. She is let down by the fact that Barack is always overly optimistic about the time he’ll be home. At home, their frustrations grow intensely, like a “knot [they] couldn’t loosen.”
Michelle starts to become frustrated that she is the only one in the relationship who is caring for their daughters and their home in general throughout the workweek, and she wants Barack not to sacrifice his family life as much.
Themes
Michelle suggests couple’s counseling, and Barack agrees to go despite some hesitation. Counseling helps Michelle realize that there are ways she can be happier that don’t rely on Barack quitting politics, like making time for herself to exercise and not spending energy stewing over whether Barack will make it home for dinner. As for dinner, it would be at 6:30pm every night, with baths at 7:00pm and then reading, with lights out at 8:00pm. This puts the weight of responsibility on Barack to make it home—it’s now his job to catch up with the girls.
Barack does, however, begin to compromise—both by attending couples counseling, and by taking some responsibility for trying to be home more to see his daughters. At the same time, Michelle understands the necessity of being less negative and finding other ways to be fulfilled that don’t involve Barack or her kids.
Themes
