Reckoning

Magda’s return is anticlimactic; her parents are happy to see her, but her adventure fades as suburban life takes over. Jane doesn’t take Magda back and Magda’s heart slowly breaks; she dyes her hair black, raids Peter’s closet for men’s clothes. She returns to school, where she enrolls in Philosophy of Religion. Magda identifies with Nietzsche’s description of the mind as a jumble of unrelated thoughts. However, Nietzsche is blind to love; Magda prefers William James’s Varieties of Religious Experience, which inspires her with hope of healing the divide between her optimistic nature and her melancholy; she also devours Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook, which is about the loss of political faith.

When Katrina, a member of the Feminist Club, goes to Paris, Magda moves into her vacant room. Katrina’s mother, Helen-Mary (H-M), had inherited a grand eight-bedroom house that she can barely afford to maintain. Magda has a strong bond with H-M, a bohemian divorcee who takes lovers. H-M is always seeking something intangible, yet she has a powerful optimism. Her house, which has a ballroom and hot tub, is often filled with nude guests. Peter and Margaret think that H-M is a good influence. H-M, whose daughter is a lesbian, is a refuge of acceptance for Magda and her friends.

Through H-M’s massage business, Body Care, Magda meets Cynthia, a producer at the Why Not Theatre. Cynthia is producing a play based on the film Freaks, and she thinks Magda would make a good “fat clown.” When Magda goes to audition, she feels immediately at home and gets the role. When she tries to write the monologue for the character, however, her demons bubble up inside her; she stops sleeping, and finally breaks down to H-M about her crazed mental state. H-M takes Magda to her salon and hypnotizes her, and Magda’s “jackhammer of anxiety” goes temporarily quiet.

After H-M’s son advises Magda not to judge what she writes, Magda is able to complete her monologue. On opening night, Magda dresses in her polka-dot leotard and delivers her monologue: a poem of unrequited love addressed to philosophy, inspired by her studies.

After a while, Magda and Jane settle into a friendship; they and some other friends start a band called Uncle Torquemada, named after one of Stevie Smith’s comic sketches. Magda puts Jane’s poems to music. At one of their small gigs, they perform while dressed as Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.

The buzz Magda gets from performing leads her to audition for the law department’s revue; Alan Pentland, an actor the department brings in for the play and who later plays a big role in Magda’s life, is not impressed. To Magda’s offense, he asks her to be sexier. Magda does what he asks, however, and gets the part. For the play, Magda sets one of Helen’s poems to a dark tune and affects a brooding tone; the audience applauds her performance.

When Magda is asked to join the University’s national touring revue, Too Cool for Sandals, she is reluctant to accept the year-long gig; then, a woman warns her not to close the door on the “big time” but to “grab it.” Magda accepts the gig and travels to Perth for stints at the Pink Galah and The Laugh. John Pinder, owner of The Laugh, considers managing Magda’s career, but he doubts her drive. Magda’s depression heals; great comedy is emerging in Australia in the 80’s, and she feels at home.