Actor and comedian Magda Szubanski begins her memoir with her father Peter’s death, prompting her to reflect on his past. Peter was born in Warsaw to parents Mieczysław and Jadwiga. When Hitler invaded Poland, 15-year-old Peter joined the Polish Underground Army for which he assassinated Gestapo members and Polish traitors. After escaping the Warsaw Uprising and POW camps, Peter went to Scotland, met Margaret, and never saw his parents again. Magda’s life has been a “reckoning” of Peter’s complicated past. Knowing that her father has committed murder, Magda is plagued with doubt over his (and her own) moral character.
Magda then tells her own life story: after living in England until Magda is five, the Szubanskis move to Croydon, Australia, where Peter has gotten a job at a textile factory. Shortly after the move, Peter finds a cancerous lump in his thigh. Although the lump is removed and his health stabilizes, Peter will battle cancer the rest of his life. Meanwhile, curious about the images of dead bodies she sees in Peter’s history books, Magda asks Peter about the war. Nonchalant and cagey, Peter gives Magda the impression that he is hiding horrible guilt. Younger than siblings Chris and Barb and out of place at her new school, Magda entertains herself in the bushland around the neighborhood. Her sense of being an outcast grows when she realizes she is attracted to girls, a fact she’d rather die than tell anyone about.
When Magda is 12, Peter sets merciless expectations that Magda excel academically and at tennis. When Magda’s weight gain causes her tennis performance to suffer, Peter gives up on her. Magda’s academic success allows her to attend Siena Convent, but when she falls in with a rebellious group called the “Sharpies” to impress Kerry, a girl she secretly has a crush on, her grades suffer. Meanwhile, Magda’s home life is breaking down: Margaret is depressed and on the brink of divorce from Peter. Increasingly isolated by her hidden sexuality, Magda contemplates suicide.
The next year, Magda performs in the school musical and has a group of artsy friends. Abandoning her dream of being a doctor after graduation, Magda studies the arts at Melbourne University. In her first two years at college, Magda joins the Feminist Club, comes out to her friend Helen, and volunteers at a refugee shelter. After a few sexual experiences with men, Magda dates Jane before abruptly deciding to travel to Europe. But despite these new developments, Magda still can’t accept herself, and her mental health suffers as a result. In Europe, Magda travels through Berlin to Warsaw, where she stays with Peter’s sister Danuta and her husband Andrzej, and meets cousin Magda. The Polish Szubanskis show Magda family photos and historical sites from the war.
Failing to win Jane back when she returns from Europe, Magda moves into H-M’s house, re-enrolls at Melbourne, and joins the university’s revue, Too Cool for Sandals, where producers notice her and recruit her to the comedy show D-Generation. Although she struggles to be herself in the “straight world” of comedy, Magda, along with Jane Turner and Gina Riley, is offered a role on the comedy show Fast Forward, where she finds her voice writing comedy sketches. Jane and Gina create Kath and Kim, and Magda joins the comedy show as Sharon Strzlecki, a sports-loving tomboy character she created on a Fast Forward special. Kath and Kim wins three Australian film awards, and Magda wins Best Supporting Actress.
Meanwhile, Magda, Margaret, and Peter go to Warsaw. When they visit the horrifying relics of extermination camps, Margaret weeps while Peter remains stoic. Fascinated by Peter’s emotional resilience, Magda obtains permission to film Peter as he tells the story of his past. Peter describes killing German women and schoolboys while feeling neither remorse nor excitement. Magda also learns that the Szubanskis sheltered a Jewish boy whose crying put the family in danger of being caught and killed.
After starring in Babe, Magda travels to Hollywood with her agent Hilary. However, still divided between her life as a public figure and her desire for a private life, Magda turns down several opportunities. After participating in a painful interview in which the interviewer grills Magda about rumors that she is a lesbian, Magda comes out about her sexuality to Margaret and Peter. Although her parents respond with some discomfort and concern, their acceptance assures Magda of their unconditional love. Meanwhile, Magda begins a weight-loss program and loses 80 pounds. This change in appearance creates a stir of public opinion: not only does the public assume that Magda is now less funny, but it also considers her heterosexually sexier.
After Peter’s death, Magda turns to religion to find a moral framework that will forgive Peter’s past actions. Around this time, Magda appears on a reality show that follows famous people as they retrace their family history. In Ireland with the show Who Do You Think You Are, Magda learns that her great-grandmother Mary Jane lost 10 of her 13 children to hunger and disease and that her alcoholic grandfather Luke was hospitalized for severe shellshock. In Poland with Who Do You Think You Are, Magda explores the dark sewer through which Peter crawled to escape death during the Warsaw Uprising.
Steeling herself to be courageous like her ancestors, Magda comes out as gay on public TV, and she releases a statement in support of same-sex marriage. Magda travels to Warsaw to recover from the ordeal, which was anxiety-inducing for her, despite the public’s positive response. In Poland, an elderly Danuta tells Magda that although the Szubanskis adored the Jewish boy they hid in their house, ultimately they sent him away, fearing that his crying would expose them.
Magda remembers what Peter said two weeks before he died: that his biggest fear was that his children would turn out to be “traitors.” Knowing that the war primed Peter to kill those he loved if they turned out to be cowards, Magda understands that Peter was ready to kill her, too. Now that Magda can accept and forgive this “stone of madness” in Peter, she can accept herself. Magda wishes that her ancestors were still alive, especially the courageous Peter, but she knows that it is important that she find her own courage.
