Tristram Shandy

Chapter 1. Tristram recalls his declaration that he will write two volumes of his book each year if his health allows it. He reaffirms his commitment to the book, but while he remains in good spirits, his health is failing him. Just then, Death knocks on his door, but Tristram answers him in such a carefree manner that Death is sure he has made a mistake. Death interrupts Tristram, who is telling Eugenius a lewd story, and leaves to let him finish. Eugenius urges Tristram to run for his life, hoping to lose Death along the way, so Tristram sets out for Europe by way of Dover.

Chapter 2. Once aboard a ship heading toward France, Tristram regrets his failure to see any famous sights of England along the way. Tristram becomes violently seasick but reaches France safely ahead of Death.

Chapter 3. Tristram describes the three roads from Calais to Paris, one of which is roundabout but interesting, another of which is beautiful, and the third of which is completely ordinary. Most people choose the latter, he claims.

Chapter 4. Tristram imagines how he would describe Calais if he were a travel writer. However, he is confident that all he knows of Calais is what he was told by his barber there, and that itself is little more than he knows of Cairo. Despite seeing nothing of the town, Tristram is confident he could write a thoroughly convincing chapter about Calais and intends to prove it in the next chapter.

Chapter 5. Tristram recounts the history of Calais as described in the town archives, growing from a small village to the modern city it is today. He describes the large single church located in Calais’s central square but notes that the square is in fact rectangular—in French it is called a “place.” He then describes the sailors’ district, and then the castle tower and other large, expensive fortifications that surround the city. The latter attraction inspires Tristram to briefly recount the battles and sieges fought by the English for control of Calais.

Chapter 6. Tristram comforts the reader, assuring them that though he could go on is this manner for at least 50 more pages, he will not force them to read his false travelogue. Now, he will continue onward to Boulogne.

Chapter 7. Tristram enjoys the sights of Boulogne, filled with “debtors and sinners” like himself. The residents are less appreciative of him and try to guess what sins he has committed or debts he has accumulated to be forced to flee his home. Tristram wryly points that Boulogne has a great seminary for the humanities, too.