David Sedaris
David Sedaris, a humorist and essayist, is the protagonist of Me Talk Pretty One Day. The book’s essays all feature him in one way or another, though he often writes about his family members…
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Lou Sedaris (Sedaris’s Father)
Lou Sedaris is David Sedaris’s father, a quirky man who has worked as an engineer at IBM for the majority of his life. A curious soul, Lou tries to get his children interested in…
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Miss Samson
Miss Samson is a speech therapist who works with Sedaris to eliminate his lisp. When Sedaris is in the fifth grade, Miss Samson takes him out of class to help him properly pronounce words containing…
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Mr. Mancini
Mr. Mancini is Sedaris’s guitar teacher, whom Lou Sedaris forces his son to see after deciding that his children should form a family band. Sedaris uses the derogatory term “midget” to refer to Mr…
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The Rooster (Paul Sedaris)
Paul Sedaris is Sedaris’s youngest sibling. By the time of his birth, most of the Sedaris siblings have already made it clear that they aren’t going to live up to their father’s dreams…
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Get the entire Me Talk Pretty One Day LitChart as a printable PDF.
Valencia
Valencia is a wealthy woman from Colombia who lives in a beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. Sedaris is initially thrilled when he starts working as Valencia’s personal assistant because this means he can spend several days…
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Hugh
Hugh is Sedaris’s romantic partner. A good cook, he lives in an old chocolate factory that has been turned into an apartment. Hugh’s father worked for the U.S. State Department, a job that required…
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Sedaris’s Mother
Sedaris’s mother is a heavy-drinking woman with a sense of humor that Sedaris himself seems to have inherited. This is evident when she attends a museum to see one of Sedaris’s conceptual art pieces…
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Gretchen Sedaris
Gretchen Sedaris is David Sedaris’s younger sister. A talented artist, she receives fantastic amounts of praise from her teachers. In response, both of her parents want to take credit for her skill. Lou even…
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Lisa Sedaris
Lisa Sedaris is one of David Sedaris’s sisters. When Lou takes Sedaris, Lisa, and Gretchen to see Dave Brubeck play jazz, he decides that the three siblings should form a family band. Lisa is…
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Patrick
Patrick is the boss of the moving company Sedaris works for after quitting his job as Valencia’s personal assistant. Although Patrick is in charge, he doesn’t like to be referred to as the boss…
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Richie
Richie is one of the professional movers who works for Patrick. Sedaris learns that Richie is a murderer who spent time in prison as a teenager because he killed his sister’s boyfriend. When he…
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Alisha
Alisha is Sedaris’s friend from North Carolina who visits him in New York City several times every year. An easy houseguest, Alisha is perfectly content to do whatever Sedaris wants. This pleases him because…
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Bonnie
When she accompanies Sedaris’s friend Alisha to New York City, Bonnie annoys Sedaris by insisting that he show her all of the city’s busiest tourist attractions. As someone who has never left North Carolina…
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Sedaris’s French Teacher
Sedaris’s French teacher is a harsh young French woman who takes any opportunity to disparage her students. She is especially hostile to Sedaris, telling him point-blank in English that she hates him. Later, she…
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Martin
Martin is an American man Sedaris encounters on the metro in Paris. Turning to Carol—the woman with whom he’s traveling—Martin speaks loudly about Sedaris, saying that he smells awful and that this is characteristic…
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Carol
Carol is an American woman Sedaris encounters on the metro in Paris. Carol listens intently as Martin—her travel partner—speaks loudly and disparagingly about Sedaris, operating under the assumption that Sedaris is French. When Martin…
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Reggie
Reggie is a man who works with Sedaris at a cleaning company. Proud of his intelligence, Reggie frequently boasts that he has an IQ of 130 and that, because of this, he deserves to have…
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Maja
Maja is one of Sedaris’s friends who lives in Paris. When Lou comes to visit, she goes to dinner with Sedaris and his father and is confused when Lou tells a story about accidentally…
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Jodie Foster
Jodie Foster is a famous American actor. When Sedaris’s Parisian hairdresser finds a picture of Jodie Foster walking her dog, he doesn’t know why she’s holding a plastic bag. Hoping Sedaris can shed light…
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Cheeky
Cheeky is an exotic bird that escapes from a Manhattan pet shop. The reward for Cheeky’s return is $750, so Valencia tells Sedaris that they should find the bird and split the reward. She then…
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Minor Characters
Ivan
Ivan works as a professional mover with Sedaris. A Russian immigrant who takes medication for schizophrenia, he—like Richie—has an uncanny ability to help movers make decisions about where they should place their furniture in their new apartments.
Lyle
A folksinger who lives in Queens, Lyle works as a professional mover with Sedaris.
Dave Brubeck
Dave Brubeck was a famous American jazz pianist. A jazz enthusiast, Lou Sedaris takes Sedaris, Lisa, and Gretchen to see Brubeck perform in North Carolina—an experience that inspires him to force his children to learn instruments so they can form a family band.
Billie Holiday
Billie Holiday was a famous American jazz vocalist. Sedaris admires her voice and dreams of one day singing commercial jingles in her style. This is Sedaris’s only musical aspiration, but his father forces him to take guitar lessons with a man named Mr. Mancini instead.
Mädchen I
Mädchen is the name of a German Shepard that the Sedarises own while living in Raleigh, North Carolina. When Mädchen dies and Lou Sedaris brings home a new German Shepard, they start referring to the first dog as Mädchen I, since they name the second dog Mädchen II.
Mädchen II
Mädchen II is the name of the second German Shepard that the Sedarises own while living in Raleigh, North Carolina. Whenever Mädchen II does something bad, the Sedarises chastise her by saying that Mädchen I would never have done such a thing.
Melina
Melina is the Great Dane that Sedaris’s parents own after their children have moved out. A large dog, Melina is Lou Sedaris’s pride and joy—a fact that sometimes disconcerts Sedaris, who suspects that his parents care more about Melina than about him.
Neil
Neil is the female cat Sedaris owns while living in Chicago.
Sophie
Sophie is the Great Dane that Lou Sedaris brings home to replace Melina after Melina dies. Although Lou loved Melina, he is exhausted by Sophie and quickly realizes that he made a mistake by getting a new dog right after Melina’s death.
Amy Sedaris
David's sister. Amy is beloved by Lou in part because she is beautiful, but Amy herself is uninterested in such things. She is quick-witted and a prankster, and she often introduces David to new things or new ways of encountering the world.
