Trudie Nickel Character Analysis in A Complicated Kindness

Nomi’s mother, absent for most of the novel but characterized through her daughter’s abundant memories. Trudie is intelligent, warm, and spontaneous, making up exciting games and activities for her young daughters and enlivening the duller aspects of Mennonite life—for example, when she has to preside over the church daycare, she lets Nomi and Tash listen to forbidden pop radio stations. Her behavior often challenges Mennonite norms—she reads secular literature, owns sexy lingerie, and enjoys playing cards—and while her choices sometimes discomfort her more conventional husband, Ray, they also heighten his admiration and love for her, and he always supports his wife when she is chastised by church leaders like her brother, The Mouth. Above all, though, Trudie is enigmatic, characterized by mercurial mood swings that neither Nomi nor her father can understand or predict. In her narrative, Nomi reflects this opaqueness by withholding the real reason for her mother’s departure: it’s not until the end of the novel that the reader discovers Trudie has cheated on Ray with Mr. Quiring and been excommunicated, behavior that contrasts sharply with her overall demeanor as a loving wife and mother. Trudie is a less reliable parent than Ray, and Nomi is often baffled or angered by her attempts to “make sense” of her mother’s behavior; but her characterization of Trudie as a vibrant and complex woman emerges as a spirited defense against the community’s disapproval and condemnation. Ultimately, Trudie teaches Nomi the importance of acceptance: by the end of the novel, Nomi realizes that she doesn’t need to understand her mother’s actions to love her.

Trudie Nickel Quotes in A Complicated Kindness

The A Complicated Kindness quotes below are all either spoken by Trudie Nickel or refer to Trudie Nickel. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:

The only thing I needed to know was that we were all going to live forever, together, happily, in heaven and with God, and without pain and sadness and sin. And in my town that is the deal. It’s taken for granted. We’ve been hand-picked. We’re on a fast track, singled out, and saved.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Tash Nickel, Ray Nickel, Trudie Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 17

Explanation and Analysis:

But there is kindness here, a complicated kindness. You can see it sometimes in the eyes of people when they look at you and don’t know what to say. When they ask me how my dad is, for instance, and mean how am I managing without my mother.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Trudie Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 46

Explanation and Analysis:

I didn’t know why she was crying, until I heard my mom say honey, what is it? What’s wrong? And Tash said: I think I’ll go crazy. I can’t stand it. It’s all a fucking lie. It’s killing me! Mom, it really is! And then something happened that took me completely by surprise, I heard my mom say, I know honey, I know it is.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Trudie Nickel, Tash Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 146

Explanation and Analysis:

My mom put some blankets and pillows into a garbage bag and carried it out to Ian’s truck. She put bread and fruit and the fresh ham she’d bought that day into a box and Ian carried that out.

I remembered my mom telling us about the Mennonites in Russia fleeing in the middle of the night, scrambling madly to find a place, any place, where they’d be free. All they needed, she said, was for people to tolerate their unique apartness.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Trudie Nickel, Tash Nickel, Ian

Page Number and Citation: 148

Explanation and Analysis:

Ask her to forgive you, Trudie said. You’ve scared the shit out of her, Hans. Tell her you’re sorry. Tell her! Tell her it’s not true. Tell her they are stories. You know nothing about love, nothing. You know nothing about anything at all and I hate you so much.

Related Characters: Trudie Nickel (speaker), The Mouth, Nomi Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 171

Explanation and Analysis:

I’m pretty sure she left town for his sake. It would have killed him to choose between her or the church. The only decision he’d ever made without her help was to wear a suit and tie every day of his life. How could he stand up and publicly denounce a woman he loved more than anything in the world. And how could he turn away from the church that could, someday, forgive his wife and secure their future together in paradise, for all time.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Ray Nickel, Trudie Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 194

Explanation and Analysis:

Heaven is always calm, with no wind. She said other stuff but I didn’t really understand it. I understood there was no wind in heaven. That’s partly why I love the wind that blows around in this town. It makes me feel like I’m in the world.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Trudie Nickel, Nicodemus

Page Number and Citation: 198

Explanation and Analysis:

Love is everything. It is the greatest of these. And I think that we all use whatever is in our power, whatever is in our reach, to attempt to keep alive the love we’ve felt. So, in a way, the only difference between you and me is that you reached out and used the church—there it was as it always has been, what a tradition—and I stayed at home, in bed, and closed my eyes.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Mr. Quiring, Trudie Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 244

Explanation and Analysis:

Truthfully, this story ends with me still sitting on the floor of my room wondering who I’ll become if I leave this town and remembering when I was little kid and loved to fall asleep in my bed […] listening to the voices of my sister and my mother talking and laughing in the kitchen and the sounds of my dad poking around in the yard, making things beautiful right outside my bedroom window.

Related Characters: Nomi Nickel (speaker), Trudie Nickel, Ray Nickel, Tash Nickel

Page Number and Citation: 246

Explanation and Analysis:

Trudie Nickel Character Timeline in A Complicated Kindness

The timeline below shows where the character Trudie Nickel appears in A Complicated Kindness. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.

...lives with her father, Ray, in a small bungalow near the highway. Ever since her mother, Trudie, and sister, Tash, left town, life has seemed to stand still; every day, she... (full context)

Christian Salvation vs. Earthly Joy Theme Icon

The chicken factory makes Nomi recall a long-ago memory of her mother, Trudie. Nomi is eight years old and standing with Trudie in a farmyard. A farmer,... (full context)

Nomi explains that Trudie doesn’t live at home any more, having left soon after Tash ran away. Nomi and... (full context)

Nomi remembers that, although Trudie’s eyes are green, she listed them as hazel on her passport. Nomi wonders if Trudie... (full context)

Trudie has always loved to read mysteries and always aspired to visit the Holy Land, which... (full context)

Despite reading about far-off places, Trudie spent much of her time in the church basement, where the Mennonite women have to... (full context)

Tourists often come to East Village to gawk at Mennonite life, but Trudie never acknowledges their presence because she doesn’t want to acknowledge that she lives in “the... (full context)

...seem to have no grounding in logic. She remembers having a long argument with her mother about going to see a secular movie, since normally Mennonite children are only allowed to... (full context)

Nomi remembers other small facts about Trudie, like her ability to predict the weather or her unique way of folding towels. While... (full context)

...that they share the same taste. Nomi reminded herself to be mysterious; since Tash and Trudie left, she’d been perfecting a “tragic and romantic” persona. (full context)

Nomi remembers that, during church services, Trudie used to take care of the congregation’s babies in the “crying room.” Nomi and Tash... (full context)

Nomi remembers that a few weeks after Trudie left home, Ray began to build a new garbage hutch—something that Trudie always wanted him... (full context)

Annoyed, Nomi gets out of the car and runs into Sheridan Klippenstein. Trudie used to care for his grandmother, old Mrs. Klippenstein. Nomi once wrote a short story... (full context)

...ghost even though everyone, including his family, was obligated to shun him. Shortly afterward, Sheridan’s mother went insane and killed herself; Trudie attributed this to the pain of having to pretend... (full context)

Nomi remembers that during her childhood, she and Tash used to sit in their grandmother’s house and listen to obituaries on the radio. Their elders believe that this activity is... (full context)

One afternoon, young Nomi is standing in her grandmother’s field, pretending to be a scarecrow, when she sees two dresses fly off a clothesline... (full context)

...a tree and taken turns jumping out of the branches. Then they drive to Nomi’s grandmother’s house so she can see if the dress is still there. Predictably, it has vanished... (full context)

Nomi remembers that, on their first date, Ray and Trudie walked to church together. Once they reached the door, Ray didn’t know whether to go... (full context)

...and people leave food by her side, but no one can actually talk to her. Trudie explains that the blackouts are caused by stress, something that fascinates Nomi. Sometimes Trudie herself... (full context)

...the wall “like a guy completely defeated by life.” A few weeks later, Nomi notices Trudie leaning against the window, watching the neighbor’s dog, in just the same way. She tells... (full context)

It often seems impossible to leave, but if Tash and Trudie escaped, it can’t be that hard. Nomi likes to imagine different exotic possibilities for her... (full context)

...of apple juice at her. The nurse says that Nomi is as crazy as her mother. (full context)

After Trudie and Tash leave the family, The Mouth comes over to pray with Ray and Nomi.... (full context)

...Comb, a local drug dealer, and buy marijuana. They are arguing about whether Ray and Trudie ever had chemistry; Nomi says that they once did, but Travis argues that Ray is... (full context)

...English teacher, Mr. Quiring, in the street, but he doesn’t notice her. She remembers that Trudie used to take her for long walks at night. Ray is sitting in his lawn... (full context)

Nomi thinks about her mother. Living in East Village, Trudie has Ray, her children, and books to keep her occupied,... (full context)

In church, Trudie enjoys hymns and always sings loudly. During Communion, she and the other women wash each... (full context)

Trudie often talks about her happy childhood in East Village, and when Tash complains that the... (full context)

Nomi’s grandmother often reprimands Trudie for letting the house get messy. When the Rapture occurs, she tells... (full context)

Trudie loves to play Dutch Blitz, an Amish card game. She often keeps Nomi up late... (full context)

Nomi remembers one day when The Mouth comes over and asks to speak to Trudie privately. From the window, Tash and Nomi watched as The Mouth lectured, and Trudie threw... (full context)

When Nomi is 11, Tash and Trudie go away to a Christian camp for two weeks. Tash is excited because there will... (full context)

While going through Tash’s bureau drawers, Nomi finds a card from Trudie expressing her love and wish that the Lord will always guide Tash’s actions. Nomi wonders... (full context)

Nomi remembers when Aunt Gonad discovered her and Trudie listening to music while taking care of the children during church. As punishment, The Mouth... (full context)

Nomi and Tash sometimes skipped church to help Trudie shelve books. They read books about Christian children and books about “staying quiet and clean... (full context)

While Trudie was working dutifully in the church library, Tash rebelled more and more, piercing her ears... (full context)

...out. Nomi thinks that she could never really change her name, because then Tash and Trudie couldn’t find her. (full context)

With Trudie working in the library and Tash happy in her romance with Ian, it seemed like... (full context)

...ran into her parents’ room and fell asleep under her bed. When she wakes up, Trudie was telling Ray that she though they were losing Tash forever. The next day, Tash... (full context)

...a tree and broke her elbow. Tash thought that God made the accident happen, but Trudie told her that God saved her life. After that, Tash wanted to throw Nomi out... (full context)

Tash told Nomi that Ray and Trudie couldn’t even say the word “party” because it’s against Mennonite rules. On a long drive,... (full context)

...the piano. When she would stride out of the house in her skimpy tank tops, Trudie assured Ray that it was just a phase. After watching Tash for a few mournful... (full context)

One day, Mr. Quiring visited the house to tell Trudie and Ray that Tash had been skipping school and ignoring her assignments. He admitted that... (full context)

Nomi thinks that Trudie and Tash are the same kind of person, while she and Ray are themselves alike.... (full context)

More and more, Trudie had to defend Tash against criticism from The Mouth. When Tash skipped a dinner at... (full context)

...turning 13 three days before Tash and Ian left town. Nomi knew that Ray and Trudie were having tense discussions all the time, but she didn’t really understand their content; she... (full context)

When Trudie came home, both Nomi and Tash were sobbing in their respective rooms. Nomi heard Tash... (full context)

For a while, Nomi heard Tash and Trudie talking in low voices. Then Trudie went into the kitchen to talk to Ray. When... (full context)

...pick Tash up. With a “tender genuine smile,” Tash gave all her records to Nomi. Trudie packed up some blankets and food, and loaded them into Ian’s truck. The scene reminded... (full context)

...Nomi reflects that Ray always comforts people in ridiculous ways. She remembers the time when Trudie had to identify her sister’s body after she was killed in a horse-and-buggy accident, and... (full context)

...having nightmares about her sister burning in hell. When she woke up, she would find Trudie reading in the living room and ask if Tash was going to hell; Trudie would... (full context)

...were shocked to find out that Tash had become an atheist, but it turned out Trudie had known for months, even before Tash left, and didn’t care. Nomi blamed Tash’s library... (full context)

After Tash’s departure, Trudie became so frustrated with Nomi’s nightmares that she drove Nomi to The Mouth’s house in... (full context)

Nomi recalls that Trudie started behaving really strangely after their nighttime encounter with The Mouth. She wandered the town... (full context)

...smell bad and it almost looks pretty. Tash once told Nomi that Ray proposed to Trudie here, so Nomi reflects that the lagoon is the reason for her existence. (full context)

Nomi remembers the days when Tash was paid to hang out with their grandmother so she didn’t “get wasted on vanilla, burn down her apartment, get kicked out and... (full context)

...listen to Lou Reed in the basement. They fall asleep and wake up when Travis’s mother says that he has to do his chores and Nomi has to go home. On... (full context)

Nomi reveals that Trudie left home because she was excommunicated from the community by The Mouth. Nomi doesn’t even... (full context)

A month after Trudie’s departure, Nomi was walking by the Mennonite nursing home and saw Mrs. Klippenstein sitting outside... (full context)

...inside. Under the note she left him that morning she writes another question, asking why Trudie didn’t take her when she left. (full context)

...she sees that he’s written an answer to her question from the day before: that Trudie didn’t take her because Nomi was sleeping when she left. (full context)

Nomi thinks that Trudie didn’t take her because Trudie knew Ray needed company more than she did. She also... (full context)

...decoration and makes crêpes with syrup and cantaloupe. For dessert, she makes a cake which Trudie had taught her to make at the age of four. At that time, Nomi was... (full context)

...letter scrunched up by the fence, and realized that the one she received was fake. Trudie admitted that she wrote the letter, and told Nomi that nothing could reach Heaven on... (full context)

...porch. When Edwina discovers their last name is Nickel, she asks if they’re related to Trudie, whom she knows from performing musicals together many years ago. Nomi is shocked to find... (full context)

...fishhook scar on her head and reminisces about the day she got it. He, Nomi, Trudie and Tash had rented a motor boat to visit an island on Falcon Lake. Ray... (full context)

...and then played tag in the water by the island, and Nomi saw Ray and Trudie kissing. As the sun set, they roasted marshmallows, and when the boat reappeared Nomi watched... (full context)

In the present day, Nomi asks Ray if Trudie really acted in musicals. Ray nods and says that The Mouth took her to audition;... (full context)

Nomi calls Travis. His mother picks up and says that he and his father are doing a job in another... (full context)

Finally, Travis’s mother lets Nomi into his room. It’s empty, and Nomi takes a guitar pick and leaves.... (full context)

...truck exploded. Then she bought some soda at the general store and walked to her grandmother’s house, where she went up to Trudie’s old room and lay down. On the bureau... (full context)

...why she still craves his approval so much. Perhaps because, like him, she’s fixated on Trudie. Nomi says that Mr. Quiring gave her family “an ending,” following his own rules about... (full context)

Nomi believes that Trudie began a relationship with Mr. Quiring out of grief, and returned to Ray out of... (full context)

It occurs to Nomi that Trudie might have left town not reluctantly, to spare Ray the pain of shunning her, but... (full context)

The Mouth has suggested that Trudie killed herself after leaving town, “out of guilt and regret.” Nomi wonders if Trudie really... (full context)

...she leaves town. She remembers being a kid and falling asleep listening to Tash and Trudie talking in the kitchen and Ray working in the yard, “making things beautiful right outside... (full context)

A Complicated Kindness

Trudie Nickel Character Analysis

Trudie Nickel Quotes in A Complicated Kindness

Chapter Two Quotes

Chapter Six Quotes

Chapter Eighteen Quotes

Chapter Twenty-One Quotes

Chapter Twenty-Three Quotes

Chapter Twenty-Four Quotes

Chapter Twenty-Eight Quotes

Trudie Nickel Character Timeline in A Complicated Kindness