Early in Sasha’s transition, Debbie often felt that Sasha’s gender identity was a “pain in the ass.” Once on a family trip during Thanksgiving break, Sasha refused to use a roadside bathroom because it was labeled “Men and Women.” “There’s no bathroom for me,” Sasha said. They then held their bladder for six hours. “It’s not healthy,” Debbie told Sasha. “You have to be more flexible.”
This chapter reveals a common form of discrimination experienced by agender and transgender people. As bathrooms rely on the gender binary—most public spaces have only a men’s restroom and a women’s restroom—Sasha isn’t entirely comfortable using either one. Furthermore, Debbie’s comment that Sasha must be “more flexible” is inconsiderate; ironically, “it’s not healthy” to deny one’s gender identity, as evidenced by Andrew’s depression and suicidal ideations.