Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in This Is How It Always Is, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Gender and Binaries
Secrets and Misunderstanding
Violence and Discrimination
Storytelling
Family
Summary
Analysis
When Rosie arrives at work, she is nearly 15 minutes late for the Monday morning meeting. Howie is irritated when she walks. He welcomes her and tells her they are all “honored” to have her there. Howie tells Rosie that they all have lives and families, but she can’t keep making them suffer because she is “incapable” of handling her own. Instead of fighting with him, Rose agrees to take the extra work Howie hands her way. “Attagirl,” Howie says. “I’m not a girl,” Rosie answers.
Howie is completely insulting and sexist. He is sarcastic, telling Rosie they are “honored” that she showed up, and he implies that she is “incapable” of handling her family without knowing anything about her family. His final comment, “Attagirl,” is demeaning and strips Rosie of her womanhood, which she has no problem taking back. Rosie is a woman, not a girl, and she tells Howie as much.
Themes
Later in the breakroom, James admits to Rosie that he was apprehensive about hiring her. Five is a lot of kids, he says. Rosie is shocked. You can’t hire people based on how many children they have, she points out. As they are talking, Howie comes in and says he must talk with Rosie. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, Rosie’s phone rings. It is Roo’s school, and he has been suspended for fighting. Rosie tells the receptionist to reschedule her patients and runs out the door.
Obviously, the reader can infer that running out of work on Howie will not be good for Rosie’s job, which already appears to be on the line. James implies that Rosie can’t be a good doctor because she needs to take of her kids. Penn takes care of their kids, but James automatically assumes that it is Rosie’s responsibility because she is a woman.
Themes
When Rosie picks up Roo, he is bleeding from a cut on his head, and Rosie knows he will need stitches. She takes him to her office, where she learns that Roo has been fighting with a kid named Derek McGuiness for over a year. Derek called Roo—and several other kids—“gay and faggot and fucking fairy,” and Roo lost his temper. Roo knows Rosie and Penn will think he beat up Derek because he is homophobic, but he actually did it because Derek is homophobic. Rosie is confused and brings up the LGBTQ video in history class. Yes, Roo says, he intended to show the problems in the military and the discrimination against LGBT people, not to perpetuate it.
Roo’s fights with Derek McGuiness underscore Roo’s love for Poppy. Roo won’t allow anyone to say anything bad about Poppy, even indirectly. Again, Derek’s incredibly offensive language underscores the abuse LGBTQ people frequently endure in American society. Through Roo’s video, Frankel underscores how difficult it can be to advocate for others. Like all conversations about important subjects, they aren’t easy, and they will never be perfect. Misunderstanding will happen, but the conversation must continue.
Themes
Roo claims it is really Rosie and Penn who are homophobic and transphobic because they keep Poppy’s identity a secret. No one else cares that Poppy is transgender, except for Rosie and Penn. Rosie tells Roo he must stop the fighting if he ever hopes to go to college, and, she says, Roo is definitely going to college. After stitching up Roo and letting him go, Rosie and Penn don’t see that they have missed the entire point of Roo’s warning.
Here, Roo suggests that keeping Poppy’s gender a secret implies it is something she should be ashamed of and that it isn’t okay to be transgender. Keeping Poppy’s secret doesn’t keep her safe, it perpetuates hate and misunderstanding.
Themes
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