Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in This Is How It Always Is, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Gender and Binaries
Secrets and Misunderstanding
Violence and Discrimination
Storytelling
Family
Summary
Analysis
Roo is born first. Rosie and Penn hyphenate his name, Roosevelt Walsh-Adams, so his grandfather’s name, Roosevelt, doesn’t sound “too presidential” next to their last name, Adams. Next is Ben, and then the twins, Rigel and Orion, because Rosie and Penn thought they would try for “one more.” Now, despite being a doctor and a woman of science, Rosie is moving her bed to go east-west instead of north-south. According to the Talmud, Rosie’s mother swears, sons are born to men who sleep facing north. Rosie has been feeding Penn salmon and cookies in response to old German folklore, which claims men desirous of male heirs should eat red meat and salty snacks. Those desirous of daughters, the same stories say, should have sex in the middle of the afternoon.
From Roosevelt’s name, the reader can infer that family is important to Rosie and Penn since they name their son after his grandfather. Three U.S. presidents have been named either Adams or Roosevelt, hence the hyphenated name to break up this association. This hyphenated name also suggests that Rosie is a strong and independent woman, as she wants her children to bear her own name (Walsh), as well as her husband’s. The Talmud is the body of Jewish laws and legends, and Rosie is clearly hoping to conceive a girl, since she is observing only those laws and legends that promise a daughter.
Themes
It is also recommended, according to numerous sources, that missionary style is best, which is fine with Rosie. Sex with Penn has always been good without imaginative positions or toys. Besides, Rosie prefers to face him and look into his eyes. Penn sits on the side of the bed, a highlighter and an article about food shortages during World War II in his hands. He doesn’t want to discourage Rosie, he says, but sex in the middle of the afternoon is how they got where they are, and he doesn’t think the house can get much messier. That afternoon, Claude is conceived, and he quietly begins growing and “dividing and dividing and dividing.”
Rosie’s preference to look at Penn while they are intimate suggests that they have a close relationship and a strong marriage. Penn’s humorous statement points out the obvious: they already have four kids and their house is chaos, but Rosie clearly wants another child (a girl) and in his agreement, Penn also shares this desire. Claude keeps “dividing and dividing and dividing,” which implies he will be a complicated and multilayered child.
Themes
Other people are constantly asking Rosie if she is Catholic, or if she understands how babies are made. There are things to prevent pregnancy, they say jokingly. “I don’t know how you do it,” a woman from the PTA says to Rosie at the kids’ bus stop, adding, “Or why.” The bus is late again, which, in Madison, Wisconsin—a particularly snowy place—happens a lot. Of course, the woman says, it helps that Penn doesn’t work. Rosie corrects her. Penn is a writer, she says. Writing is not a “real job,” the woman implies, at least not in the same way Rosie’s job as a doctor is. The woman giggles and walks off.
The comments Rosie faces about her multiple pregnancies are invasive and demeaning. People imply she is Catholic (Catholicism bans birth control), when she is clearly Jewish (her mother refers to the Talmud), and as a doctor, she obviously knows all about the ways to prevent pregnancy. These comments are likely meant as jokes, but they are nevertheless evidence of Rosie’s sexist society. Rosie’s pregnancies and Penn’s job aren’t anyone’s business, but the woman at the bus stop still jokes about Rosie’s life and choices.
Themes
Back at the farmhouse that Rosie shares with Penn and the boys, she takes over cooking dinner for Penn, who has gone to pick up Rigel and Orion from preschool. The farmhouse is huge and sits on 15 acres of land. Rosie and Penn don’t farm anything, but they are usually up before dawn. The house has plenty of bedrooms—including a small nursery, painted yellow, just in case Rosie ever does have a girl. The house is old and full of dings and dents, but Rosie loves it. Plus, when the boys break something or color on the walls, she doesn’t have to worry about it like she would a new house in the suburbs.
It is clear that Penn does much of the cooking and childrearing (he starts dinner and picks up the kids from school), which is a reversal of stereotypical gender roles that assume domestic chores and childrearing are a woman’s job. Penn’s domestic life challenges such narrow and traditional gender roles and assumptions. Rosie and Penn’s kids are obviously very important to them, since they give up living in a nice, new house so the boys can be young and play without worrying about damages.
Themes
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Nine months pass as Claude continues to grow, and Rosie knows she will soon go into labor. She has been feeling it come on for days, and her feet itch terribly before her contractions begin. On the way to the hospital, all Rosie can think about is a name: Poppy. She has had the name picked out since before Roo was born. Rosie’s sister, who died of cancer when they were just kids, was named Poppy, and Rosie has always known she would name her daughter after her sister. In the delivery room, with the doctor telling her to push and Penn telling her to breathe, Rosie hears the words again. “It’s a boy!” the doctor cries.
Rosie’s desire to name her daughter after her sister, Poppy, again underscores how important family is to Rosie and Penn. By naming her child Poppy, a part of Rosie’s sister lives on, which speaks to how much Rosie loved her. Plus, Rosie has been thinking about the name for years now, which further suggests it is very important to her. However, Rosie doesn’t get to use the name, again, because she gives birth to her fifth son.
Themes
