Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in This Is How It Always Is, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Gender and Binaries
Secrets and Misunderstanding
Violence and Discrimination
Storytelling
Family
Summary
Analysis
Rosie and Penn are extremely happy that Poppy has Aggie, but Aggie drives them all nuts. She is loud, and even though Rosie gave birth to five boys, Aggie is more boyish than any of them. She is constantly digging holes and catching bugs, and she plays with toy trucks and spaceships. Poppy and Aggie spend every weekend together, and when Poppy turns seven, she asks to have a sleep over with Aggie and her new friends, Natalie and Kim. Rosie isn’t sure a sleepover is a good idea. Girls sometime change clothes in front of each other, she says, but Poppy says she is worrying for nothing. They sleepover will be great, Poppy says.
Like nearly everyone else in the novel, Aggie doesn’t conform to traditional gender roles either. She is more boyish than any of Rosie’s boys, and she does things that are not typically associated with girls, like playing with bugs and trucks. In drawing attention to the ways people frequently challenge gender roles, Frankel implies that there isn’t really anything that different about Poppy. Everyone pushes against these roles, she suggests, just in different ways.
Themes
Penn thinks Rosie is worrying for nothing, too, but Rosie disagrees. It is like Poppy has forgotten she has a penis, Rosie says, but Penn highly doubts that. Rosie is in agony all evening during the sleepover waiting for Poppy to put her pajamas on. The girls spend the whole night laughing and running around, and then Poppy comes into Penn and Rosie’s room looking for pajamas. Penn says they are in the dryer, and Poppy goes to the laundry room and returns wearing a flamingo nightgown. Rosie is relieved and finally starts to relax.
Rosie is clearly more worried about Poppy’s gender differences than Poppy is, and she seems to be more invested in keeping Poppy’s secret as well. Poppy isn’t phased in the slightest, and she doesn’t appear too worried about her secret. Poppy transitioned when she was young enough that she likely doesn’t have many memories of Claude, therefore she doesn’t think about gender as much as Rosie.
Themes
The following Friday, Poppy wants to go to Aggie’s for a sleepover. Rosie asks Penn if it is too late to tell the kids they are going to shul, but Penn says it is, so they decide to let Poppy go to Aggie’s for the night. Before she leaves, Rosie sits Poppy down and tells her she must change her clothes in the bathroom. Unless, Rosie says, Poppy wants to tell Aggie. No, Poppy says, she doesn’t want to tell Aggie anything. She still remembers what happened with Nicky, and Poppy doesn’t want anything like that to happen again. Poppy doesn’t want Aggie to think she is weird. “Why?” Rosie asks. Aggie is pretty weird. “Exactly,” Poppy says. Aggie is the weird one, and Poppy wants it to stay that way.
Poppy likely has some form of lasting trauma stemming from Nicky’s father’s threats with the gun, which underscores the trauma many people within the LGBTQ community face. As one out of every two transgender people will be assaulted, trauma, unfortunately, is commonplace in their lives. Frankel again draws attention to the fact that Poppy is not the only weird one. Aggie is weird, too, just as everyone in Poppy’s family is. Everyone has differences, Frankel implies, and they should be celebrated.
Themes
