Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Josh is Margot’s boyfriend, but the entire family is in love with him. Daddy loves Josh because as a single dad of three daughters who’s also an ob-gyn, he’s constantly surrounded by girls. Kitty loves Josh because he plays kid games with her without getting bored. Margot loves Josh because everyone else does.
Lara Jean’s family is close-knit and welcoming—everyone loves Josh, even though he’s Margot’s boyfriend. Margot loves Josh simply because everyone else does, which suggests that Margot values her family’s approval of her decisions. Notably, Lara Jean (the narrator) doesn’t mention how she feels about Josh, though it’s not yet clear why.
Themes
Margot is sitting on the living room floor. Kitty is creating a collage of dogs (she desperately wants a dog for Christmas), and Margot and Josh are on the couch. When a commercial for perfume comes on, Lara Jean sits up suddenly and suggests they meet in Paris for spring break. Josh assures Lara Jean that Daddy would let her go—especially if Josh comes too. As the older kids discuss their Paris trip excitedly, Kitty whines that she wants to go too. Though she’s nine, too old sit in people’s laps, Kitty crawls into Margot’s and begs to come too. Margot assures her it could be a family vacation.
Again, Josh might be Margot’s boyfriend, but he’s close with the whole family, so it’s seemingly normal for him to hang out with Margot’s sisters as well as her. And Kitty inviting herself along on the Paris trip shows that nobody is happy to be left out—when it comes to Lara Jean’s family, everyone is involved, or nobody is.
Themes
Later that night, Margot is on her computer in the kitchen while Lara Jean makes snickerdoodles, Kitty’s favorite. Kitty isn’t speaking to Lara Jean after the Paris discussion. Out of nowhere, Margot blurts out that she broke up with Josh. Her voice is calm, and she looks fine—Margot is always fine. Lara Jean is incredulous, but Margot says that she’s going to college at Saint Andrews in Scotland—there’s no point to having a boyfriend here. Lara Jean argues that Josh loves Margot more than anything, but Margot notes that Mommy once told her to not go to college with a boyfriend. Lara Jean always listens when Margot brings up Mommy; she wants to remember her better. Poor Kitty’s only memories of Mommy are the ones her sisters have shared with her.
Margot is starting to move away from her family and gain some independence: she’s going to college thousands of miles away from home, and she broke up with the boyfriend that everyone adores. To Lara Jean, though, this is ridiculous. She seems to believe that true love really can conquer all, even a long-distance relationship during one’s first year of college. But Margot is taking advice from different sources, such as her mother, who isn’t around anymore.
Themes
Lara Jean tries to convince Margot to go make up with Josh, but Margot only asks when the cookies will be ready. Stubbornly, Lara Jean says she’s certain Margot and Josh will get back together; they love each other too much. However, she knows this isn’t true. When Margo finishes something, she’s done. Lara Jean wishes she could be more like Margot in this regard. Later, Lara Jean leaves a plate of cookies on Kitty’s pillow and then looks out her bedroom window. Josh’s light is still on next door.
Again, Lara Jean thinks idealistically about love—it’s inconceivable to her that Margot and Josh would actually break up while they’re still in love. And Lara Jean continues to pressure Margot to make a different decision, even when Margot clearly isn’t interested in considering other options. Lara Jean seems to believe (or at least hope) that she has some say over Margot’s choices. This is, perhaps, another aspect of their family’s closeness.
Themes
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