Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Josh is waiting for Lara Jean on her front porch when she gets home. He asks to talk, so Lara Jean sits next to him. Josh says they should decide what to do before Margot arrives, and he should be the one to tell her. Aghast, Lara Jean says they can’t tell Margot. He insists he doesn’t want to keep secrets from her, but Lara Jean says if they were going to say anything, she should tell Margot. She’s Margot’s sister; Josh was “just her boyfriend.” Hurt, Josh says this is hard for him too. Things have been a mess since he got Lara Jean’s letter. She’s gotten to say everything, and now she’s dating Peter, and he can’t stop thinking about her. Peter isn’t good enough—no one would be.
Lara Jean sees lying as a good way to avoid embarrassment and heartache, which is why she recoils at the suggestion that she and Josh tell Margot about their kiss. But her unwillingness to tell Margot also stems from the fact that Lara Jean prioritizes her familial relationships over romantic ones. This is why she says Josh was “just” Margot’s boyfriend, a word choice that makes it clear she sees Josh as lesser when compared to a sister.
Themes
Josh says he remembers one night when he and Lara Jean were walking home from a friend’s house. Lara Jean remembers; her feet hurt. Josh says he almost kissed Lara Jean that day, but then he forgot about it. Lara Jean notes that Josh wasn’t supposed to get the letter, but he suggests it’s fate—they’re supposed to be together. Lara Jean says that’s not true. She’s surprised to realize she believes that. She doesn’t love him anymore. She loves someone else.
This is a big moment for Lara Jean as, finally, she admits to herself what she wants: a real relationship Peter, not Josh. And as she experiences this moment of clarity, Lara Jean also feels far more secure about what she wants to do going forward. She can use her own desires to guide her actions and help her make better decisions.
Themes
Lara Jean asks Josh to promise to not tell Margot about their kiss. Margot wants to hang out with Josh and do a day in D.C. when she’s home, and Lara Jean says that sounds great and insists they have to act like everything is fine. If they do that, everything will be fine.
Lara Jean believes that as long as she keeps up with her lies, her life will remain neat and tidy. But there are a lot of moving parts and people tangled in this lie. Things might not be fine, if only because it’s harder to control a lie that involves so many people.
Themes
