Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
At the door of Steve Bledell’s mansion, Peter tells Lara Jean that all she has to do is act like she’s in love with him. He pulls her hair tie out, fluffs her hair, and takes her picture—he needs evidence on his phone, in case Genevieve checks it. Walking into the party, Lara Jean feels proud to be with him. As soon as Lara Jean is in the mansion, Genevieve and Emily call to her. Peter suddenly disappears, so Lara Jean crosses the room to the other girls. It seems like everyone is watching to see what Genevieve will do.
Being at this party with Peter is simultaneously thrilling and frightening for Lara Jean. Again, she enjoys the attention from other kids, but it’s scary to have to actually talk to Genevieve. The way Lara Jean describes the tenor in the room suggests that Genevieve has a lot of power over her classmates—Lara Jean makes it seem like others will agree with whatever Genevieve’s opinion is on Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship.
Themes
Emily asks how Lara Jean and Peter got together, and Lara Jean insists that whatever Peter said is the story. She’s heard that Genevieve is a mean drunk, which makes her nervous. Seeing her hesitation, Genevieve says it’s fine; she and Peter are over. Lara Jean admits that she and Peter got together right before school started but she sees Genevieve’s eyes change. That was clearly the wrong answer. Genevieve is the kind of person you want to like you, even if you know she’s cruel. She knows how to draw people in. Lara Jean waits for her response, but Genevieve just says it’s “adorable” and changes the subject. Lara Jean excuses herself to go to the bathroom, and when she comes back, she sits on Peter’s lap. She sees Genevieve glare and leave the room. Finally, some success.
While Lara Jean observes that Genevieve’s eyes change, it’s not clear exactly why they change. Lara Jean is making assumptions about what Genevieve is thinking, none of which are possible to verify. Indeed, going by what Genevieve says and does, it seems to confirm that Genevieve doesn’t care nearly as much that Lara Jean and Peter are dating as Lara Jean thinks she does. But Lara Jean engages in these mental gymnastics because she’s so afraid of Genevieve—Genevieve, with her temper, encourages other people to be constantly on edge.
Themes
Later, Lara Jean sees Genevieve and Peter talking in the kitchen. She doesn’t notice Lucas come up next to her. She tells him she doesn’t know what they’re fighting about; privately, she hopes they’re fighting about her. But Lucas calls her closer and says them fighting is bad—it means they still care for each other. He warns Lara Jean to be careful. Just then, Peter comes over to Laura Jean and tells her it’s time to go.
Lucas behaves in a way that suggests he’s fully supportive of Lara Jean dating Peter; he doesn’t want to see Genevieve and Peter get back together. So, he makes a point to give Lara Jean advice, as he recognizes that Lara Jean is somewhat naïve when it comes to navigating such a fraught love triangle.
Themes
Out in the car, Peter says he hates Genevieve and asks what Lara Jean said to her. When Lara Jean admits that she said that they got together before school started, Peter groans—he and Genevieve hooked up that weekend. He won’t answer what he and Genevieve were fighting about, but he does say that Lara Jean is doing a good job. Genevieve is jealous.
Lara Jean and Peter already decided on the lie that they got together the week before school started; Lara Jean wasn’t telling Genevieve anything unexpected here. But Peter now sees that this lie won’t be easy or comfortable to manage.
Themes
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After a minute of silence, Lara Jean asks how Peter knew he loved Genevieve. Peter refuses to answer at first, but then says he’s only 17 and is too young to know what love is. Lara Jean announces that Peter sounds like a grandpa and accuses him of avoiding the question. They pull up to Lara Jean’s house and stay in the car. Then, Lara Jean says that Genevieve must have a hold on Peter. He doesn’t deny it. Instead, he says he wishes Genevieve didn’t. Lara Jean thinks that she herself probably belongs to her family, but that won’t always be the case. She tells Peter that this whole relationship is just to prove to Genevieve that he doesn’t belong to her.
It’s a major moment of clarity for Lara Jean when she privately realizes that she belongs to her family. With this, she acknowledges that her loyalty belongs to them first and foremost. However, she also leaves open the possibility that someday, she’ll enter into a romantic relationship that will cause her loyalty to shift. But because this hasn’t happened to her yet, and she’s not sure how that will feel, Peter becomes an important information source. As someone who’s been in a relationship, he’s experienced this before.
Themes
Then, Lara Jean asks if there’s a difference between belonging with someone and belonging to someone. Peter says that belonging with someone implies there’s a choice involved. To annoy Peter, Lara Jean says that he must love Genevieve if he’s willing to play along with their fake relationship. He notes that she’s never had a boyfriend before, and so she doesn’t know anything. Lara Jean says that’s true, but she has been in love. Peter snorts and says that Josh is a “tool,” and Lara Jean is silly for loving him. Angry, Lara Jean tries to leave the car. The door is locked.
In the previous passage, Lara Jean did say she belonged to her family. Per Peter’s logic, Lara Jean doesn’t have a choice there—but she does have a choice when, in the future, she enters into a romantic relationship with someone else. Peter’s insults toward Josh create tension within the love triangle, but this also shows how little Peter knows Josh. He's making assumptions, and it's hard for him to believe that Josh has earned Lara Jean’s affection.
Themes
Peter asks Lara Jean to stay and asks why she hasn’t dated before. He knows, for instance, that she turned a boy down when he asked her to homecoming. Lara Jean admits she was afraid—not of that boy, but of being in a relationship with a real person. Peter is paying close attention. He asks how she’s feeling about their relationship, and Lara Jean says she doesn’t like him like that, so it’s fine. They discuss the letter Lara Jean wrote to Peter. He seems to want to hear that Lara Jean still thinks he’s attractive and kind, but Lara Jean fumbles her responses. Rather than apologize, she goes inside. The cupcakes are finished and look pretty good.
Lara Jean is becoming more introspective and emotionally aware. And, for the first time, she’s willing to be honest about the fact that she’s afraid of romance and intimacy. But still, even if Lara Jean might be falling for Peter, it’s too frightening for her to tell the truth about what she’s feeling, or to say something nice to him. Her first instinct, instead, is to insult him and push him further away, so that she won’t have to face her fears.
Themes
Margot emails Lara Jean that evening to ask if she’s considered joining the literary magazine or Model UN. She also reminds Lara Jean that it’s Korean Thanksgiving this weekend, so Lara Jean needs to call Grandma. Lara Jean replies that school is fine, she’s looking into clubs, and she has everything else under control.
Even from thousands of miles away, Margot is trying to make sure her sisters are taken care of and staying on top of things. However, it doesn’t seem like this is entirely necessary—Lara Jean is managing to keep things working smoothly, at home and at school.
Themes
