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Chapter 19
Themes
and Colors
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
What happens next is like “a slow-motion train wreck.” Lara Jean is trying to unjam her locker when Josh appears out of nowhere. He looks shocked, holds up her letter, and asks what it is. Lara Jean feels like she’s floating and says she wrote it a long time ago—probably middle school. Josh points out that she mentions an event that took place only a couple years ago, so Lara Jean laughs to keep from crying. Josh asks if Lara Jean did or still does have feelings for him and asks why she never said anything. Suddenly, Lara Jean feels like she’s 14 again, walking next to 15-year-old Josh, and it seemed like he was going to kiss her. Lara Jean picked a fight so he wouldn’t.
Everything Lara Jean says and does here—from lying about when she wrote the letter, to the memory of picking a fight with Josh so he wouldn’t kiss her—suggests that she’s afraid of intimacy, particularly with Josh. This is, of course, complicated by the fact that Lara Jean still has feelings for Josh; it’s not like she can laugh about having had a crush on him in the past. But Lara Jean still feels like the feelings are off-limits, so she’s willing to do anything, such as lie about them, to make them go away.
Active
Themes
Lara Jean blurts out that she’s dating someone, to both her and Josh’s surprise. She insists that she was confused when she wrote the letter a long time ago and begs him to not tell Margot about it. As Lara Jean walks away, Josh asks who she’s dating. Just then, Lara Jean spots Peter Kavinsky walking down the hallway. Lara Jean races for Peter, leaps into his arms, and kisses him. He kisses her back. When Lara Jean pulls away, she thanks him and then runs away.
Here, Lara Jean reveals what she’s really concerned about: Margot finding out about Lara Jean’s feelings for Josh. Lara Jean’s choice to impulsively lie about having a boyfriend and kiss Peter shows that her lies only create more problems. Now, she has to figure out how to handle the fact that she’s done something unexpected with a popular boy, in a crowded school hallway.
Active
Themes
It takes two class periods for Lara Jean’s heart to slow down. She clearly didn’t think this through—picking Peter as her fake boyfriend was the worst idea, especially since he and Genevieve are an “institution” despite being broken up. Lara hides all day until gym class. When it’s over, she waits for Peter outside the locker room. He’s the last one out of the locker room. Lara Jean says the kiss was a joke, but he asks if it’s related to the letter. Kindly, Peter says Lara Jean is cute “in a quirky way,” but he’s not ready to date so soon after breaking up with Genevieve.
Active
Themes
Lara Jean’s mouth drops open. This is so insulting. She insists she doesn’t like Peter—she kissed him exactly because she doesn’t like him, and someone else sent out her letters. Peter picks up on the fact that he wasn’t the only one to get a letter. Lara Jean says there were five letters, and she actually likes one of the boys. With prodding, she admits she likes Josh and explains that she told Josh that Peter was her boyfriend. Peter says Lara Jean is funny and asks what she’s going to tell Josh, now that Josh thinks they’re dating. Lara Jean says she’ll figure it out.
Active
Themes
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